


stay a minute

by grinsekaetzchen



Series: our favorite parts are what we'll keep [1]
Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Actors, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Social Media, in verse tumblr fandom, mentions of bipolar disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-11-12 20:03:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 50,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11169096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grinsekaetzchen/pseuds/grinsekaetzchen
Summary: "The leads of Even Bech Næsheim’s new 'Romeo and Juliet' adaption were announced yesterday, with Eva Kviig Mohn taking to Twitter to confirm, ‘Looking forward to playing Julieeeeet’. Her fellow Romeo was announced shortly after to be Isak Valtersen, which his publicist confirmed today. It seems that this will be Norway’s new star-crossed pair of lovers."In which there is a tumblr fandom that is dying every time new information for said version of 'Romeo and Juliet' drops, Even is a beloved director and Isak - well, Isak would just really appreciate it if his mind would stop surprising him with memories at the worst moments possible.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I swear I wanted to write a canon story next but it just ... didn't happen? Instead I wrote something that I've wanted to write for ages for any fandom and now I've finally managed to do it. The title is from "Stay" by Alessia Cara and Zedd because the song weirdly fits this story. 
> 
> The biggest thank you goes to [Nika](http://itistimeforusalltodecidewhoweare.tumblr.com/) who fell into this fandom only a few weeks ago and offered to look this over for me regardless. Thank you so much, I couldn't have done it without you! <3

Isak is running late. Like, really late. Late in the sense that his flight was delayed and then they didn’t find his luggage and now he’s in a taxi with just his carry-on backpack and ignoring the ten texts from Julian, who is telling him how shitty planes are and if Isak could possibly not take on so many projects at the same time. It’s just Isak’s luck that his PA is stressed on his best days and hysterical on days like this.

It’s not as if Isak is happy to be late either. He’s usually overly punctual, a leftover from the time when he didn’t have a PA and easily got overwhelmed by all the things happening to and around him. Of course, now that he actually has Julian, he’s late for the first time in forever. Isak debates whether to shoot him a text to hold Julian responsible, before deciding against it. Julian would probably not see it as the gentle teasing it is and have an actual breakdown.

Isak sighs, sinking further into the taxi seat: It’s been a hectic two months (it’s been a hectic year, his mind supplies unhelpfully). Julian might have had a point with suggesting that filming a music video for two days straight just after having come back from LA a week earlier and then flying to this read-through might be a bit much. Not that Isak is ever going to admit this to him. Julian’s other frequent emotion apart from hysterical is smug. Combining this with the fact that he likes to rat out Isak to Eskild and tell him about how much exactly Isak is working, Isak will never tell Julian that the last two months were a rollercoaster running on the speed of light.

But there is just no way that Isak was going to say no to being in Sonja’s new music video, even though it meant cutting his little break between projects down to three days. Especially not since she’s trying out a new, rockier style that Isak would actually listen to. “Real music”, he’d said to Even once when he first heard of her idea. That turned out to be a colossal mistake. Isak got to hear how real music didn’t exist, that it was a construct just like gender or the idea of compulsory heterosexuality and Isak groaned, but listened anyways. His phone caught between his ear and shoulder, while he was attempting to find something edible in his hotel’s minibar, he grinned to himself whenever Even got particularly enraged about something. Plus, when Isak later mentioned gender being a social construct in a throwaway comment in an interview, people applauded him for being so socially aware. Even sent him a text saying, _you’re welcome_.

Isak tears his thoughts away from stupid discussions with Even and back to the fact that he’s going into a read-through without having had coffee first. He really hopes that his brain will wake up at some point and that he won’t embarrass himself in front of the new cast. Least of all in front of Even. He’d probably never let him live it down.

Finally, the taxi stops. Isak throws money (quite literally) at the driver, hurries out the door and into the production building, where a wide-eyed intern is taking him to the second floor. When he enters the room where the read-through being held at, he’s panting (fuck, he needs to do more cardio) and he _still_ hasn’t had coffee.

The intern is looking at him with barely concealed worry. The rest of the room is just simply looking at him. That is, until Even says, “Isak, Hollywood changed you. Late to a read-through?”

“Shut up,” Isak says, which results in a snort from Jonas and Eva, while the rest of the cast is just staring at him. Fuck, if the old thing about him hating Even will come up again, Noora is going to kill Isak. “Sorry, sorry, my flight was delayed and they lost my luggage or something. I swear I’m not late usually,” he hastens to explain himself, before walking around the table to the last free seat between Even and Eva.

There’s already a script placed on the table, which is great, because Isak’s is somewhere in his backpack and probably already fraying at the edges. There’s also no notes in it because he only read it two days ago. It’s better if it looks like he doesn’t have any notes in it because it’s a new one and not because Isak hasn’t stopped to breathe in like – actually, he’s not quite sure.

“Okay, let’s do quick introductions again,” Even says.

“I’m really sorry,” Isak says again because fuck, this is not the first impression he wanted to make. Even’s hand simply comes down on his shoulder, squeezing once as if to say that it’s okay before saying, “I’m Even and I’m the director.” Isak breathes in deeply, willing the stress away.

It moves over to his right, to a woman with an impeccably sitting hijab. “Hi, I’m Sana. I wrote the script, I’m looking forward to seeing how this will all look off of the pages.” She smiles at the whole table.

The next people are the producers, followed by some new faces that Isak has never seen or heard of before. There’s Magnus, who’s playing Paris, Mahdi, whose face Isak actually thinks he recognises from an award show or something, who plays Mercutio, Emma, who is Rosalind and only has about three lines of text if Isak remembers correctly. He stops paying attention to names afterwards, only listening again when the line stops at Jonas. He grins at Isak before introducing himself and telling everyone that he’ll be playing Benvolio. Isak grins back at him, already imagining the amount of shit he’s going to get from Jonas because of his lateness. He’s missed working with his best friend.

“Hey, I’m Eva, I’m playing Juliet,” Eva continues and then the line is at Isak. “I’m Isak and I’m playing Romeo. And I promise, I’ll be on time for shooting.”

At that, Even raises an eyebrow. “I believe it when I see it,” he grins and Isak knocks into his leg. Hard, while smiling sweetly at the same time. There’s a reason he became an actor.

“Can we start?” one of the producers says and right, this is why there are producers because if there’s one person who truly has no concept of time, it’s Even. Isak remembers more than one cab that they were supposed to share that cost them a fortune because Isak was sitting inside while Even was trying to do literally everything else in the same moment. Isak has no idea how Sonja managed to be together with him for three years. It would drive Isak crazy. The amount of time that would just be spent waiting - and, no, this is a dangerous thought to have.

Isak shakes his head, concentrates on the pages in front of him and starts reading out his dialogue as soon as Even gives the word. His brain is just too sleep-deprived that’s all. Playing Romeo will definitely wake him up.

 

“I need coffee,” Isak says after what seems like days.

“You look like death,” Even comments but waves an intern closer. “Hey, Ingrid, can you get Isak a coffee?” He smiles at her as if he’s the fucking sun and the intern melts away to get Isak’s coffee. Of course Even knows her name already. Isak is still overwhelmed trying to remember the names of the cast, never mind the interns.

Still, Isak musters up enough energy to scowl at Even. When Even turns back around to him, he also smiles his million-watt smile at Isak. “Aww, you’re still cute, don’t worry. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have cast you.”

“So, you only cast me for my looks?” Isak crosses his arms in front of his chest.

“Obviously. I’m sorry is that a surprise to you?” Even widens his eyes dramatically because he’s a bad actor and it’s a good thing that he’s the director only.

“You suck,” Isak answers because without coffee his sarcastic streak is damaged.

“Who sucks?” Eva buts in, already a coffee in her hand. Isak is jealous, but then the intern returns and Isak could hug her. “Thank you,” he sighs, drowning half of the cup in one go.

“That’s disgusting and unhealthy,” Even says drily.

“Shut up, do you want me awake or not?”

“Are you already flirting?” Eva says, rolling her eyes and calling, “Jonas! Get over here.”

“Jesus Christ, Eva, we’re not flirting. Also, stop screaming.” Isak pinches the bridge of his nose. It’s too early for Eva’s meddling that happens every fucking time Isak and Even are in the same room with her.

“I’m offended, Isak. Offended. I, for one, am definitely flirting.” Even waggles his eyebrows, putting one hand on his heart and sighing. This is the exact moment that Jonas turns up, just to say, “You know, I don’t think I should have accepted this project. This is going to be unbearable with the two of them here.”

“Hey!” Even and Isak say in unison. Isak glances at Even for a moment, taking in his exaggerated frown and the stupid bandana that he isn’t wearing around his head, but as a kind of scarf. It works for him because of course it does. Isak is neither bitter nor jealous. Not at all.

“It’s a fucking joy working with us,” Isak says, turning back to Jonas. “Not that either of you have ever had the honour to work with both of us together.”

“You only worked together _once_ – when you were both babies in showbusiness. I should have found some people who worked with you then to get their opinions. I doubt that they would’ve described it as an honour,” Eva teases. 

“Even, who do I tell when I’m being harassed at my own work place?” Isak asks Even.

Even shakes his head slowly. “I don’t know but I’d like to find out as well. You know that theoretically I could fire you, right?” he grins at Eva and Jonas.

Eva nods solemnly. “Mhm, sure. Have fun finding a new Juliet without the producers killing you.”

“Or Benvolio. Honestly, Even, you need someone to entertain Isak in between takes with FIFA. Otherwise he gets grumpy. Do you know how many texts I got about LA not having acceptable video games? It was ridiculous, man.”

“Fuck off, both of you. I’m gonna find new friends,” Isak says.

“Good luck with that,” Eva shrugs, before suddenly beaming at him and pulling him into an impromptu hug. Isak can barely get his coffee out of the way, before he’s being crushed in Eva’s arms. “I missed you, you idiot,” she says half into his hair.

“Erm, okay?” Isak disentangles himself from her carefully, throwing a look to Jonas and Even, who are both smiling at him. Isak doesn’t know what to do here.

“Well, you had to go off and become a big movie star,” she says. Isak blushes. Instantly. Honestly, at this point he should be better at acting in his private life.

“I didn’t,” he mumbles. “It was just like, a small part.”

“You were there for two months, man,” Jonas cuts in. “That’s not that small a part.”

“Yeah, but like who knows how much they’ll cut in the editing room and I was mostly in a lot of scenes, but without like saying anything or –“

“Isak, what they’re trying to say is that they’re proud of you,” Even cuts in, his voice soft. “We are,” he corrects himself.

Isak stares at all of them, before coming to his senses. “You’re all gross. I need more coffee.”

He leaves them with a smile on his face and his heart beating soundly in his chest. It’s a good first day, even though he was late.

 

Isak can’t sleep the night before shooting starts. It’s something that he’s grown used to over the years. At some point, he’d thought that this feeling would dissipate as soon as he’d got more experienced but it’s always there in the pit of his stomach: excitement and nervousness wrangling with each other.

Isak turns around in his bed, grabbing his phone from the nightstand and shortly blinding himself with its light. He scrolls around aimlessly, liking some pics on Instagram, before finally giving in and pressing onto his chat with Even.

For a while, he simply scrolls around there, too, chuckling a second time at old memes of Even’s or some stray observations about how he should shoot his next movie only with puppies as the actors in it. Actually, there’s a whole – one-sided – conversation starting with a short video of two puppies fighting each other lovingly while their mother looks on. Underneath Even had lined out the first action movie, where the two puppies would play the lead, followed by a sequel when they were grown up. Isak had simply sent back, _send me a copy of the dvd then_.

Isak isn’t quite desperate enough to send Even a message now. Not when it’s three in the morning and if Even also isn’t asleep then Isak doesn’t want to know. That doesn’t stop him from reading more of their text conversations. Kind of like a bedtime story, he supposes and scratches that thought immediately. Bedtime stories involving bad dick jokes are neither appropriate nor help him fall asleep at all.

Most of the texts were sent at odd hours, sometimes a few days between a message and an answer. Their lives have both been too busy to keep up a steady stream of conversation. And, in a way, they’re just friends, not best friends like Isak and Jonas are, who Isak will at least try to talk to more regularly. Even and him are _just_ friends.

Which is why Isak doesn’t text him now, but if he keeps himself awake reading old messages back a little bit longer, no one has to know.

 

Isak’s up and out of bed easily the next morning, the adrenaline waking him up quickly. He’s showered, dressed and full of coffee only half an hour later and on the way to the studio he listens to the radio to turn off the thoughts in his head. An old song of Sonja’s comes up and he cranks up the volume. He still feels slightly guilty for calling her old music not real music that one time, even though Even swore to never tell Sonja about it. Still, now Isak makes a point of turning up her pop songs, too.

He arrives on the set when it’s still dark out, stumbling around the parking lot until a PA comes to get him and lead him to the make-up trailer. Isak follows him gladly, dropping into the seat, where a make-up lady instantly appears and starts raking her hands through his hair. Isak is still not completely comfortable with that; he prefers Eskild to everyone else, but he’s learnt to live with it. He simply puts in headphones, leans back and closes his eyes.

That works until someone else enters the trailer, loudly saying, “Whoa, that is so much bigger than I’m used to.” It’s loud enough that Isak can hear it through his headphones. He frowns in annoyance, his hand hovering over one headphone, debating whether it would be too rude to not take it out.

The shouty guy’s eyes land on Isak, grinning at him. He plops down into the seat next to Isak, thrusting out his hand and thankfully introducing himself again. “Magnus. I’m playing Paris.”

Isak nods, tugging out his headphones completely now, because he’d rather not be known as an asshole. Shaking Magnus’ hand, he says, “Isak, I’m –“

“Oh my god, I know who you are, are you kidding?”

Isak nods again, more slowly. This is going to get awkward fast and he has no idea how to stop it. The make-up lady (Eileen, she had introduced herself, Isak needs to start remembering names) tuts, righting his head again and putting something in his hair.

“Not like in a weird way, though,” Magnus continues.

“What?”

“I know who you are because you introduced yourself at the read-through. Also, you’re the lead. Also, I might have watched all your films that you’ve been in before, but that’s just as an aside.” Magnus beams at him, not embarrassed at all and Isak can’t help but laugh with him.

“As long as you don’t want to sell my autograph or something, it’s cool,” Isak grins.

Magnus gapes at him. “Shit, man, I should’ve thought of that! D’you reckon I’d get a lot of money for your autograph?”

Isak grins some more. “Definitely. Thousands upon thousands.”

“Dude, I’ll get rich!” Magnus spreads his arms, nearly knocking his make-up artist in the face and apologising profusely in an instant.

Isak puts his headphones away for good. He’s pretty sure that Magnus will keep him entertained and distracted well enough.

 

Isak arrives on set, Magnus next to him and telling Jonas, “Isak and I are best friends now. I’m totally replacing you,” as if Magnus and Jonas had been friends for ages, too. Isak just shakes his head and lets Jonas take over, who is mostly following Magnus’ story amusedly.

Their little group is split up by Even coming over, eyes shining and smiling at them. “Hi, guys!” he shouts half-way across the studio. Isak rolls his eyes, but Even just smiles at him even more widely. “Let’s start blocking the scene, alright?”

Isak lets Even lead them over to where they’ll shoot, position them, and starts running his lines in the comfort of his own mind again. At least until Even is standing right in front of him and saying, “Isak, can you move more to the right? I need you to start here and then hit that mark over there. So, you’ll start with your first line here and then walk to Jonas.”

“Sure,” he agrees easily.

“Such a quick learner,” Even grins and honest to God winks. Isak puts his head in his neck, thankful for the heavy foundation that’s on his skin that doesn’t let any blush seep through.

“I hate you,” he mumbles, but Even is already somewhere else, running around and guiding people to where he wants them, giving instructions describing what he’d like to see. Isak is distracted from going over his lines: Instead he watches Even be in his element.

He’s walking around with long strides, turning people this way and that, discussing options with the camera woman and generally flying around like a whirlwind. His happiness seems to radiate off him, making Isak believe that he can feel it from his place metres away from Even.

It reminds Isak of the first time he met Even, when they were both fledglings in the show business. Isak the new kid on the set, his first proper movie after a TV show that was cancelled after just five episodes. He remembers feeling lost and insecure on the set, the rest of the actors much older than him, but then there was Even. Just slightly older than him and somehow already the assistant director’s assistant. Isak remembers looking at him then and thinking the same thing: that his happiness, his genuine enthusiasm for the work, was contagious and when Even turned around to smile at him, Isak’s heart had started thumping wildly for a reason other than nervousness.

“Alright, let’s rehearse this!” Even shouts from behind the camera, already in his director’s chair with a concentrated look on his face. Isak nods, taking a deep breath, pulling Romeo to the surface. He’s not a complete character yet, Isak doesn’t know all his faults and ticks, but he knows what drives him in this scene, when he’s walking over to Benvolio, only to be interrupted by Paris later. He knows that there’s a deep friendship between Romeo and Benvolio, that he’s genuinely glad to see him and that, at least, isn’t hard to play.

Isak slips away and lets Romeo start talking.

 

**

**[gossipgirl.coop.no]**

Even Bech Næsheim to direct new version of _Romeo and Juliet_!

Norway’s favourite heartthrob director is back after taking a break to shoot a cycle of highly-stylised short films to direct what will only be his third full-length movie. Asked what made him choose yet another adaption of _Romeo and Juliet_ , he answered, “Well, I adore Baz Luhrmann’s version – really, it’s what made me want to become a film maker, I think, and I always wanted to direct my own version but I was waiting for a new take on the topic. Sana’s [Bakkoush] script is just so innovative and when I read it I immediately knew I wanted to direct it.”

When pressed to answer what exactly can still be innovative about a story that has been told countless of times he just said, “I don’t want to say too much, but let’s just say that this version tells a lot of stories at the same time.”

**[tumblr.com/tagged/even bech naesheim]**

Fuck, fuck, fuck I’m going to die neW EVEN MOVIE THIS IS NOT A DRILL #i’m still not over the short story cycle #if you mention intertwined to me i’ll start crying #shoot me

NEW MOVIE OH MY GOOD THIS WILL BE THE BEST #I’LL KEEP SCREAMING UNTIL IT COMES OUT IS2G #WHO WILL WATCH THE MOVIE TWENTY TIMES IN THE CINEMA?? #HELLO YES ME

“I don’t want to say too much, but let’s just say that this version tells a lot of stories at the same time” – bitch please you won’t be able to shut up about it in like two weeks tops #remember the audio commentary for the cycle?? #yeah no baby you’ll be talking about it soooo much #but also #lots of stories at the same time? #wtf

I love even with all my heart Romeo and Juliet is going to be so painful I can already feel it #bring the tissues

me: hates Shakespeare

also me: *hears that even bech naesheim is shooting a new version of Romeo and Juliet* call me the bard himself

okay, but am I only one who really thinks that he could have done something more …. new? Like we get it you love baz luhrmann but literally anything else than Romeo and Juliet?? #especially after the amazingness that was the short film cycle #like to go back to mainstream now is just so #disappointing??

I CAN’T WAIT FOR INTERVIEWS WITH EVEN??? LIKE HE’S GOING TO GO OFF ON LONG RAMBLES AGAIN ABOUT HIS VISION AND EVERYTHING AND LIKE _I AM NOT OKAY_ #if someone had told me that I’d be stanning a 26 year old Norwegian director at some point in my life I’d have laughed in their face #now no one’s laughing

GUYS GUYS GUYS DID YOU SEE THE CAST LIST FOR HIS FILM???????

There’s a cast list?? Where? The fuck I can’t find it #norwegian side of tumblr where the fuck do you hide these things??? #help me out

“The leads of Even Bech Næsheim's new _Romeo and Juliet_ adaption were announced yesterday, with Eva Kviig Mohn taking to Twitter to confirm, ‘Looking forward to playing Julieeeeet’. Her fellow Romeo was announced shortly after to be Isak Valtersen, which his publicist confirmed today. It seems that this will be Norway’s new star-crossed pair of lovers.” –  link #even bech naesheim #romeo and Juliet #isak valtersen #eva kviig mohn

ISAK WILL BE BACK ON MY CINEMA SCREEN SPEAKING A LANGUAGE I UNDERSTAND NOTHING OF NORWAY’S PRINCE IS BACK #my child #my smol son #well I say smol #he’s a smol in disguise #a (s)tol #guys I apologise I’m still hungover #yes I know it’s wednesday

EVEN ISAK EVA AHHAAHAHHA TOTALLY FINE #my bisexual ass is already living for this

Isaaaaaaak my secretive baby who refuses to upload a proper Instagram picture I forgive you everything because you’re in an even film like this is going to destroy me #fml

**

Isak’s first day ends with Even dragging a group of them out to dinner because it helps build team character or something. Isak doesn’t protest too much because his stomach is rumbling anyways and he needs to get rid of the leftover adrenaline from the day before he can even think to fall asleep.

There are around ten of them invading an Italian restaurant and chatting loudly with each other. Isak hangs back a little to talk to Jonas, discussing the merits of stuffing themselves with pizza or not completely fucking up their diet on the first day of shooting already. Pizza wins easily.

Somehow, Isak doesn’t end up sitting next to Jonas, but next to Even. The director’s assistant, a girl called Emilie if Isak isn’t mistaken, is sitting opposite him, but already engaged in a conversation with the guy next to her. So, Isak turns to Even and decides some whining is in order. “Even, I’m hungry.”

Even shoots him a grin. “Really?”

“Yes. Positively starving. I might not make it to the set tomorrow.” Isak blinks earnestly at Even.

Even just breaks into his low, clear laughter. It might just be Isak’s favourite sound. “Oh no, we can’t have that, can we?”

Isak shakes his head solemnly. “No. Imagine I’d starve to death. You’d have to stop production for at least a month to grieve properly for me.”

“I think I’d have to stop the whole project then.”

“Yeah? Will you only go out in black clothes and give teary interviews?” Isak grins, until he realises that half of the table has started listening to them. Even seems to notice at the same time because he whips his head around, smiling. “Well, that got a bit too dark maybe. Don’t worry I have no inhibitions to recast Isak should he starve today.”

“Hey, what the fuck? You can’t just recast me,” Isak protests, punching Even in the shoulder because it’s easy to reach.

“I can and will if you continue to physically assault me,” Even retorts, rubbing his shoulder pointedly. Isak just rolls his eyes. He didn’t punch him that hard.

“Wait, are they always like that?” Magnus suddenly says from the other end of the table.

“Like what?” Isak makes the horrible, horrible mistake to ask. He knows it’s a mistake as soon as he sees Eva’s glittering eyes. He’s too far away to clap a hand over her mouth and she’d probably just lick it anyways. He really does need new friends. 

“Oh, you mean the gross flirting?” Eva asks, smiling angelically.

“Yes, exactly!”

“Just all the time,” Eva smirks.

“You’re just jealous of my bond with Isak,” Even quips, shaking out his hair just to rake his hand through it instantly. Isak is strangely transfixed by the movement so that he nearly misses Eva’s answer.

Only nearly, though. “Ah, but I get to make out with him,” she grins and Isak promptly turns very, very red. Really, how can he still be this uncool, even though, he has won actual awards for his acting? Like, this shit was supposed to have passed years ago.

Whatever, Isak can still act, even though, it’s harder when it’s in front of his friends only and not a camera. Time to play a little. “Looking forward to that, Eva,” he smirks back, ignoring Even shifting on his seat.

“Now, it’s just gross,” Eva sighs, Jonas nodding along with her and finally, the conversation moves on, splitting into little groups again.

A weird silence hangs between Isak and Even now, making conversation dry up in their corner of the table and Isak is glad when the waiter brings the antipasti. Isak concentrates too hard on the little bites in front of him, glimpsing a sight of Even out of the corner of his eyes, but not really knowing what to say.

As usual when this happens – and it happens rather frequently with Even, for all that they are friends there are things that go unsaid a lot of the time -, Even is the one to break the silence. This time it’s with a complete non-sequitur and really, Isak doesn’t even question this any longer.

“So, I recently read a story about a hen taking in little ducklings amongst her chicks and you need to see the video where the ducklings go into the water for the first time. The hen completely freaks out.”

Isak doesn’t even have time to ask where Even finds these videos. He’s content to lean closer to him, brushing Even’s shoulder with his own, and watch a ridiculous video on Even’s phone.

 

On the evening of the second day of filming, Isak is lounging on the sofa in his trailer, marking lines in his script and waiting for Jonas to come get him. Because it’s only the second day, they’re not behind yet with shooting which means that Isak can actually go home at the exact time that he was promised to. That means that he and Jonas finally have time to catch up, at least, they would if Jonas showed up.

The door to his trailer is opened and Isak looks up, staring at Even. “This is not your trailer,” he says dumbly because sometimes his brain has a problem making the connection between things that should be said and things that make Isak seem like a five-year-old and should, thus, not be said.

“Correct. I was actually searching for you.”

“Then, this might be the right place.”

Even sighs, but Isak can make out the smile that’s playing around his lips. “I think a PA gave you a wrong call sheet for tomorrow, can I see it?”

Isak heaves himself up from the couch to go looking for the call sheet. While he’s bent over, rummaging around in his bag, he calls over his shoulder. “And you came personally to tell me that? You’re a very hands-on director. Ah, there it is. Tada!” He straightens, turning around to Even, who’s gaze is still directed somewhere lower, before it snaps up and he says, “Well, of course. I have to be hands-on. Can’t have you running off to LA again.” He grins, but something about it seems a bit off.

“As if I would,” Isak smiles back, handing over the rumpled paper. Thank fuck that he also gets a digital copy of the call sheet or he’d be screwed. Actually – “Why didn’t you just send me the new one per e-mail?”

Even looks like a deer caught in headlights, making Isak frown. Then, Even’s face smooths over and he says, “Because I don’t trust you to actually read them.”

“I read my e-mails!”

“You forward them to Julian.”

Isak pauses for a moment. “Only the ones about scheduling stuff.” When Even laughs, Isak protests, “That’s literally his job! I pay him for that. If I have to schedule anything for myself it’ll just end in a disaster.”

Even smiles down at the call sheet, his eyes flying over it. “Yeah, that’s the wrong one. You’ll get the correct one in like an hour. I’ll put Julian as the CC.”

“Fuck you,” Isak says without any heat. It’s only then that he notices the snapback on Even’s head. It’s red and suspiciously reminds Isak of one of his own. One of Isak’s own that he can no longer find, which is a shame because snapbacks are the only things that shield him from the world on his countless bad-hair days due to having no time to either sleep or shower. He can’t remember Even ever wearing one, though.

“That snapback,” Isak starts slowly, stepping a little closer to see better. “Is that mine?”

Even takes it off, turning it around in his hands. “Could be? Yeah, I think so. You must have left it.”

“When did I leave it?” Isak frowns, before he realises what he just said. He takes a step back, burying his hands in his pockets.

“When we –“ Even says, still only looking at the snapback as if it’s the most interesting thing in this room. Considering that it’s the snapback’s fault that they’re awkwardly evading the topic now, that might be true.

“Ah, yes,” Isak interrupts quickly. “Right. Erm, okay.” Because more words tend to make a conversation more relaxed and not even more awkward. Sometimes Isak wishes that there was a way to hit himself over the head discreetly.

“Do you want it back?” Even asks, finally looking up and cocking his head a little.

“Nah, it’s fine. Keep it. Can’t imagine Romeo wearing a snapback,” he jokes lamely, but because they’re both desperate to return to normalcy Even laughs at his joke.

“Maybe in one of the other parallel universes, he’s a grumpy boy with a snapback?” Even suggests.

“Sure, if you can get Sana to write that for you.”

“I’ll have to bribe her.”

“With what?”

“My eternal love for her story?”

“She’s already got that, though,” Isak points out and he might not be able to look at the snapback yet without stuttering, but he’s getting there. _They’re_ getting there.

“True,” Even sighs. “Well, I’ll try. But I’ll leave you to it now, I have to actually get someone to send out the correct call sheet.”

“Duty calls,” Isak nods.

“ _Call_ sheet calls,” Even beams at him and this time, his smile is back in full force.

Isak groans. “That is horrible. Get out.”

“Bye, Isak! Don’t miss me too much.” Even grins at him, before he lets the door fall closed after him.

Isak immediately slumps down into the couch again. He’s still berating himself for bringing up the stupid snapback. Bringing up items of clothing that he apparently left behind the last time that they hooked up is a definite no-go when there’s an unspoken agreement to not talk about the times they fall into bed together.

Isak puts his head on the backrest, staring at the ceiling and trying to push the memories of those times away. Not talking about this is definitely easier when he’s not working together with Even, it turns out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak’s memories have a nasty habit of settling into the corners of his mind and sticking there, no matter how carefully he tries to box them up and never look at them again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always a huge, huge thank you to [Nika](http://itistimeforusalltodecidewhoweare.tumblr.com/)! You're the best and I'm ridiculously glad that you looked this over! Any remaining mistakes are my own. 
> 
> I was at pride today, so this is why this is so late, but also: Happy Pride!

When Isak finally makes it to catering with a painfully empty stomach, the only other person there is Even because it’s week two and their schedule is already shot to hell. Even is sitting on one of the benches, shovelling food into his mouth while talking on the phone with someone.

Isak gets himself something to eat as well (leftovers mostly, which means two baked potatoes, some kind of meat and a handful of veggies – it’s a sad range in comparison to LA, but then again, he also doesn’t have to see any kale anymore, so really it balances itself out), before going over to Even and sitting down opposite him.

Even smiles at him, waving stupidly with the hand holding a fork, and Isak is glad that no one is sitting next to Even or they’d have lost an eye by now. Isak starts eating, trying to figure out who Even is talking to. It’s an old game he likes to play. Ages ago, it was something he played at home when his mother was talking to someone on the phone. He stopped when it turned out that she was sometimes just talking to herself and that there was no phone in her hand. Isak shakes the memory off: It’s not something he likes to dwell on, even though, his relationship to his parents is better now than it was when he was fifteen.

Figuring out who Even is talking to turns out to be laughably easy when he says, “There’s no way we have that much money for a song, Sonja!” Even is a spoilsport, naming the people he’s talking to is not how the game is supposed to be played. Not that Isak ever mentioned how this particular game works.

“I’ll take you to dinner as an extra?” Even is saying after a short pause on his part. “I’ll bring Isak. Don’t think that I don’t know that you prefer him to me now.”

Isak snorts. “Of course she prefers me. We bonded over the music video, Even.”

“What? No, Sonja, Isak is here and he’s being an idiot. Well, no, that’s nothing new.”

“Hey!”

“She wants to talk to you,” Even says, putting his phone into Isak’s hand just to get back to eating. Isak rolls his eyes before putting the phone to his ear. “Did you already have enough of Even?”

In his ear, Sonja laughs. “Always. He wants to put my new song in his movie. Called to practically beg me. As if I would say no.” She falls silent for a second. “Don’t tell him that, he should definitely pay for dinner for both of us in exchange for the song.”

“For both of us?” Isak raises his eyebrows. Even looks at him with barely concealed interest.

“I never see you anymore otherwise.”

“Why is everyone saying that? I literally just shot your video with you, Sonja.” Isak shakes his head.

“Maybe because you’ve been working non-stop for the past year? Honestly, I have no idea how you do it,” Sonja says and Isak knows that’s a lie.

“You’ve been on tour for four months straight last year. I think you know enough about working hard yourself.”

“Aww, was that a compliment?”

“No, never,” Isak grins. Even is making grabby hands in the direction of his phone, so Isak says, “Even wants you back. Or, at least his phone. We’ll talk soon, alright?”

“At the latest when Even pays for our dinner.”

“Oh yes, that should definitely happen. Bye, Sonja.” He hands the phone back, saying, “You’re paying for dinner for me and Sonja next time.”

Even groans. “How is it that you both always gang up on me?”

Isak shrugs, smiling at him. “It’s just too easy.” He spears part of his potato and puts it into his mouth, watching as Even says goodbye to Sonja as well and hangs up. Even’s already finished with his plate but he simply pushes it aside, putting his elbows on the table and leaning forward a little. Isak swallows the piece of potato harshly.

“Do you remember that you couldn’t stand Sonja at first?” Even asks, resting his head in one of his hands and for a moment, Isak is struck by the way Even’s absentmindedly twirling a strand of hair in his fingers.

“Mhm? Er, yes, that was awkward.” Isak tears his eyes away from Even’s hair, instead chugging some water and focusing back on the food in front of him.

“I don’t know it was a little bit funny,” Even says because he’s an asshole.

“For you. I was the one who, first of all, didn’t even know who she was and second, told her before I figured out who she was that I couldn’t stand pop music.”

“Maybe it wasn’t so much that you couldn’t stand her then and more that you both got off on the wrong foot,” Even wonders.

Isak is too late to stifle his snort. Even looks up from where his finger has been doodling figure eights on the table top. Isak just shrugs; delving into memories is dangerous, especially for the both of them.

Even either doesn’t know that or ignores it because he says, “So, I didn’t imagine it then. You really didn’t like her.”

It’s more of a statement than a question, so Isak doesn’t feel too bad evading it. “We’ve been getting along swimmingly since that time we got shitfaced at a boring afterparty, though.” He stretches his lips into a slightly too wide smile and pretends not to notice how Even’s brows narrow for a moment.

Finally, Even sighs, grinning. “That truly always sounds like a memorable night whenever either of you mentions it. Which is way too often.”

Isak grins back at him, finishing up his food and getting up slowly. He stacks Even’s plate above his own. “Aw, do you feel left out? It was like, five years ago.”

“So jealous, Isak. It’s the most left out I ever felt.”

“Poor you. Shouldn’t you be back on set by now?”

“That’s a very bad distraction tactic, but you’re right. If they’re still not finished with fixing the balcony, I’m going to scream.” He sighs, pushing himself off the bench.

“You won’t. You’ll lovingly tell everyone that you’ll hug all of them if they can get it to work in the next ten minutes. If that doesn’t work, and only then, you’ll get one of the producers to yell at someone,” Isak says confidently.

Even freezes, standing there with slightly bent knees and generally looking like a giraffe trying to pass for a horse. “What?” Isak asks. “Did I get it wrong?”

Even slowly shakes his head. “No, no. That’s actually what will probably happen.”

“See? I know you,” Isak grins, before turning around and carrying their plates away.

He’s still got half an hour left before he has to be on set again, so he decides to acquaint himself even better with the couch in his trailer. On the way there, he’s reminded of how the drunken night with Sonja also ended with them sitting on a couch, drunk out of their minds, and talking.

Truth be told, Isak doesn’t remember a lot from the night. Over the years, he and Sonja added more and more details to the story, embellishing it to annoy Even with their supposed adventures that had led them from the bar of the afterparty to a second afterparty that was held at someone’s house and ultimately, into Sonja’s hotel room, where they’d collapsed on the couch.

There’s only one conversation that Isak still remembers: At some point, Sonja – on one end of the couch – had said, “You know, you’re not as horrible as I thought.”

Isak thinks he’d responded with something along the lines of either “Thanks” or “Fuck you.” Maybe it was a combination of both. “No, really,” Sonja had argued, “I hated you a little bit, you know. Ha, I mean it was the stupidest thing, but like, you do see that Even only had eyes for you the moment you two met, right?”

Isak is fairly sure that he didn’t say anything to that. In his memory he feels sick, but that could have been the alcohol talking. Still, he does remember Sonja’s next words. “It’s for the better that we split up and who knows, maybe we’ll be friends again at some point, but it just – it sucks when you see the person you once loved a lot making eyes at someone else. You have to get that, right?”

“Yeah,” Isak had breathed.

“Good. Just for the record, I don’t hate you anymore. You’re stupid, but you’re kind of cool, too. Thanks for getting drunk with me,” she had giggled then and Isak’s next memory is of waking up with a splitting headache and having found a new friend in Sonja.

He doesn’t even know if Sonja remembers the conversation. He doubts it. If he had been drunk then Sonja had been even worse off, but Isak’s memories have a nasty habit of settling into the corners of his mind and sticking there, no matter how carefully he tries to box them up and never look at them again.

(Next to the box holding this conversation is the one where Isak hooked up with Even for the first time, only two months after that conversation happened. He’d like to say he doesn’t remember anything from that night, but it’s so big a lie that he simply can’t bring himself to even tell it.)

 

***

**[giveevenanoscar.tumblr.com]**

Guuuuuys, would you be interested in a livestream of even’s short film cycle? Like I could host it in the evening and we’d all be able to chat and cry and scream over it? I’d open the livestream at 7 pm and post the link here then if that’s okay #i just can’t watch it on my own again #let’s drown in tears #but together #if you plan on joining like this post maybe #or just come and have fun slash scream with us

Omg please it’s been so long since I watched them!!!!

Fuck yes I’m in

Daniiii, why does it have to be today?? I have to study and now I … won’t. I’ll just pretend that even’s films are going to be teaching me something (which they will anyways)

Thank youuu

[giveevenanoscar posted a link]

Okay, guys, remember to be nice to each other in the chat! Let’s do this #grabs tissues

**[chat of the livestream]**

Ugh that first shot of the girl’s face where she’s just staring into the camera always makes me shiver idek

Also can we talk about how pretty she is??

Lol yeah definitely she’s so stunning

The title cards in all of these are so cool like I already just love the fact that they all have single word names: divided, enchanted, intertwined

Divided is so heart-breaking her relationship to her mother is just ugh it’s so beautifully dealt with

I always cry at the end just saying

Only at the end???

Lol same only the end?

Where are all my tissues honestly I’ll need more for intertwined

The film nerd in me just wants to pause every second scene and be like “look at the lighting here guys just lOOK”

Did even also help writing this one does anyone know?

Fuck whenever she’s crying I just cry too I can’t wait for enchanted it’s the only one that doesn’t make me sob like a baby

Nah, he only has writing credits in intertwined but it seems like the rest of the stories are close to his heart as well I feel like?

Definitely!!!

Okay fuck well that was painful I always just want her to work it out with her mother but I guess them hugging goodbye is something as well

I need to see laila again brb googling what she’s doing now

That last shot of her taking that train away from her old life is just perfect but also so many tissues have died for this film

Ahhhh the enchanted start sets the scene so perfectly for the next fifteen minutes

Also I know we talked about this so much when the film first came out but like can we talk about how one half of the couple is a trans woman and like it’s part of the movie but not like a tragedy or a big reveal or anything?? Plus an actual trans woman is playing the part!!!

Right???? When will your fave ever honestly

Idk it just seems like even is a really socially aware person and just so creative as well

Them moving into their new apartment and dragging their washing machine into the fourth floor will never not be funny

I would have died getting that to the fourth floor are you kidding

Guys I found out that Laila is apparently also a model the pictures jfc

this might be the most aesthetically pleasing sex scene ever I can never listen to take me to church again without thinking of that summery vibe here and the way the blankets drape over the both of them it’s such a lovely scene at the end

all the endings of the films are amazing tho

*all the films are amazing

Shit I looked up those pictures jfc that girl is so pretty

Ohhhhh boooooooiii here comes intertwined

Enchanted is just such a nice breath of fresh air between these emotionally heavy films and it’s still so good and doesn’t feel out of place at all ugh how even

Intertwined confused me so much when I first watched it

Also feel like they should have a warning for all the flashing lights in the beginning

Ah shit, guys, I still got the old version where there’s no warning so sorry my bad

Yeah, remember when even actually apologised on twitter for not including warnings? Darling boy

It’s all good no worries ❤

Shit this part right now was when I finally started to clue in

But like isn’t it so genius how you follow the protagonist’s pov and how the edges of everything get blurrier as more time passes and the lights brighter

It’s a bit scary watching it actually

It’s scary living it too trust me

yeah didn't even talk about that as well in some interview or other? 

But he captured bipolar so well this up up up and how the camera nearly feels like it can’t actually go any higher or faster until it takes a nosedive down and the lights blow out and then everything is still blurry but this time all the colours are dimmed aND I JUST LOVE ALL OF THIS OKAY

Plus the ending!!!!!!!

Yes, right??? Like I first thought that divided was gonna be the one about bipolar disorder and I got slightly offended but then it turned out to be intertwined and like that’s so good? This idea that no you’re not split in two, you’ve got both sides and most of the time they’re living together in one body, entangled with each other, just sometimes one flares up until the other surges after it, pulling it safely down to earth again or helping it up

All of this you put my thoughts into words better than I ever could

I can’t physically watch the interviews on the dvd set where even is just like all about how much these films mean to him and how he gets like actually a tiny bit choked up talking about intertwined?? like the fact that he decided to showcase this to everyone will always be incredible to me

I always cry at the end even though it’s happy

I think it’s tears of happiness at least for me like just when he wakes up in his bed, opens his eyes and the blurriness has dissipated a bit and like some spots are a bit greyer than the others but he’s smiling you know that’s a lovely last shot: his smile

**

Between scenes, Isak is lounging on his chair, half-heartedly replying to Julian’s messages that tell him that he’ll have a five-day press junket in a few weeks for _Lazarus_ , the film he filmed before he went off to LA. The producers are apparently already pissed off that Isak can only be there on four days on account of shooting this movie, but Julian is hashing everything out he assures Isak. Plus, it’s not as if the producers didn’t already know this a few months ago. Isak refuses to think about the fact that he’ll be going to three premieres in three different countries in three days and turns to Mahdi and Magnus sitting next to him.

It takes a little until he realises that what they’re talking about is old jobs. Just as Isak clues in, Mahdi says, “That’s why I love working on TV. It gets you a steady job at least for a season. And _Shame_ was just renewed for a second one, so I’m good.”

Isak snaps his fingers. “That’s where I know you from! _Shame_. Sorry, I’m slow with stuff like that.” He pulls a face, but Mahdi just waves his hand. “That’s cool.”

“I actually managed to watch the first few episodes on a flight once. It was really good,” Isak smiles. Now, that he finally remembers where he knows Mahdi from, he doesn’t have to rack his brain every time he sees him, which might make talking to him easier.

“Did you ever do a TV show?” Mahdi asks, while Magnus stretches out in his chair.

Isak laughs. “Once. My very first job. We got cancelled after like five episodes, which was to be expected. I mean that show was beyond shit.” He grins, remembering the dialogue alone. There’s no bitter feeling towards the cancellation anymore, not when it still got him noticed enough to land his first role in an actual film and meet Even – he stops his thoughts short.

“No, it wasn’t that bad. I found it funny,” Magnus buts in and Isak laughs in surprise.

“You watched it?”

“Hello, of course. I am a proud Isak stan.”

“Oh god, man, don’t ever say that again, please,” Mahdi sighs, but Magnus just shrugs, relaxing even further into his chair.

“Thanks, I think,” Isak says slowly. “Did you do TV?”

“Yeah, I was part of this huge soap. _The Good and Bad_ it’s called,“ Mahdi and Isak groan at the same time, “yeah, it’s mostly the bad, honestly. Like, I played this really horrible guy, this bully, right? And it was just so stupid because there was no consistent character development or anything. And he was just such a dick – I hate playing dicks.”

“Ah, man that sucks,” Mahdi says. “It’s always disappointing when that happens.”

Magnus shrugs. “Yeah, but it’s fine now because I’m here. I mean working with Even? That’s like the dream.”

“I thought you were my number one fan,” Isak grins.

Magnus grins at him, “Nah, I’m a number one Evak fan.” Isak decides it’s better not to ask and instead follow Even’s call to resume the scene.

 

“Dude, are you even sleeping anymore?” Jonas asks, entering Isak’s trailer with take away and staring at Isak accusingly. Isak looks up from his laptop with tired eyes.

“I am,” he grumbles. “Just not right now because you have food.” He sends the last e-mail, puts the laptop away and holds out his hands for one of the takeout containers. Jonas sighs, before dropping one into Isak’s waiting hands and handing him a plastic fork.

“How did you even survive in Hollywood without somebody there to feed you?” He drops down next to Isak, opening his own container of food.

“They only feed you gross healthy stuff anyways,” Isak says, his mouth half full and Jonas shoots him a disgusted look. Isak shrugs at him. It’s been a long day, he’s tired and he’s hungry. Jonas will have to live with it.

“You know, you didn’t tell me the important details about LA,” Jonas says.

Isak frowns at him. “What? I talked to you regularly and you got a complete list of who I talked to because you refused to believe me that I didn’t meet that many celebrities. I even told you about the film itself, which I’m technically not allowed to do.”

“No, not that. Obviously, I know that, you’re obligated to tell me stuff like that, I’m your best friend.” Isak still has to smile whenever he hears Jonas say that, even though, they’ve known each other for more than a decade now. What he actually says, though, is “Meh, you’re alright I guess.”

For that, Jonas kicks him, before continuing to talk as if nothing happened. “I meant I didn’t hear about any hook-up stories. You can’t tell me that there were no good-looking guys in LA. That’s just not going to fly.”

Ah, right. Hook-up stories. There might be a reason that Isak hasn’t talked about that, namely because there isn’t a lot to talk about, which is so pathetic that he can’t bring himself to tell Jonas about it. “Since when are you so invested in my sex life?” Isak asks, hoping that Jonas won’t realise that this is a very unsubtle distraction technique.

Jonas just quirks his eyebrows. “Since you don’t tell me anything about it anymore.”

“Ah, Jonas, you should’ve just said that you want to have all the details. I mean I could of course talk endlessly about all the things I like in bed and –“

“Oh god, stop talking, that’s so not what I meant and you know that. I don’t want to hear that. Ever.” He looks slightly pained. Good. He deserves it for making Isak think that he’d now actually have to come up with things to tell him about his sex life.

“No? How about you tell me about your hook-ups then, it’s not like you’re so forthcoming either.”

Jonas shrugs. “I’m having fun on parties, Eva makes a surprisingly good wing woman.”

“I don’t get how you and Even both are such good friends with your exes. Like, if someone were to make a movie about that, no one would believe that shit.”

Jonas shrugs again because he’s even chill when there’s no weed involved. “I don’t know, man. It just happens. Speaking of Even, though, how are things between you two?”

Isak just so manages to avoid choking on his food. “What do you mean? Things are fine.”

“Mhm,” Jonas hums.

“What?”

“I just, you know, wonder if there’s something more going on with you.”

Isak’s heart is pounding wildly and he has to grab the fork tightly to keep it from slipping through his fingers. “Not that again,” he says, fighting to keep his voice light.

“I just still swear that he looks at you like he’d go anywhere if you asked him.”

Isak is fairly sure that his heart stops beating for a painful second. “That just means that you’re a worse friend: Wouldn’t you go anywhere if I asked you?” He looks up quickly from his takeout container, grinning at Jonas and hoping that he’ll get that Isak wants to drop this topic _now_.

Jonas is quiet for a bit, before grinning back and saying, “Definitely not. You’d probably just go to your apartment to make some really gross food and get high.”

Isak allows himself to breathe out, joking on with Jonas and eating their food. The conversation doesn’t return to Even or hook-ups thankfully.

 

There’s exactly one time that Isak talks to Jonas about Even. One time, ten days after Even and Isak sleep together for the first time, just for Isak to wake up alone and feel cold all over, he tells Jonas what happened.

Ten days after, when Even has texted Isak a funny video of a miniature pony leading a dog on a leash (Isak will never understand the frequency with which Even sends videos of animals) and is completely ignoring the fact that they slept together, Isak proceeds to get high with Jonas. At some point, he is sitting on the floor of Jonas’ apartment, leaning his head against the couch behind him and saying, “I think he just doesn’t want to make it weird, you know.”

Jonas, bless him, just asks, “Who and what?” That might be the weed, though. Isak isn’t completely sure then.

“Even. We slept together.”

It’s quiet for a long time then, until Isak turns around to find Jonas staring at him. “When did that happen?” he asks, his eyes narrowing, but mostly just looking surprised.

“A few days ago. Don’t know, it was the premiere of the movie, you know, and then he said we should celebrate and we ditched everyone at the afterparty and instead went to his hotel room and yeah, “ Isak shrugs.

“And then?”

Isak shrugs again because then maybe it doesn’t hurt. “I woke up alone.”

“What the hell? I wouldn’t have thought that Even was such an asshole.”

Isak shakes his head quickly, which slows everything down for some time. “No, no. I met him at breakfast and he had reserved a seat for me next to him and he was like, ‘Isak, there’s eggs, but they’re disappointing, definitely not as good as mine’ and everything was like it was before.”

“Except that now you’ve fucked.”

“Mhm.”

“Are you still texting?”

As an answer, Isak simply shows Jonas his phone open on Even’s last message: the pony video.

“And now?” Jonas asks and isn’t that a good question?

“Now, we go back to being friends. Can’t be that hard, right?”

It turns out it isn’t. Not when they fall into bed again six months later and three after that and at some point, Isak pretends to stop counting. It’s easier that way.

 

Isak is lying on a bed in the middle of a studio, a giggling Eva in only a bra and jeans on top of him and sighing at the ceiling.

“I’m sorry,” Eva grins, “it’s just that I suddenly thought of that time when you fell over your shoelaces and then I couldn’t imagine you being sexy anymore.”

“I hate you,” Isak groans.

“Guys, hate to interrupt here but you do know that the scene is supposed to be about the both of you being madly in love and not laughing at each other?” Even’s voice appears next to them and Isak is suddenly very aware of the fact that Isak’s missing a shirt. It’s fine. Absolutely fine.

“Sorry, sorry,” Eva repeats. “I promise I’ll be able to do it now. I’ve been acting like I’m in love with Isak for three weeks, I can definitely shoot a make out scene with him.” She nods to herself as if she has to remind herself of that fact as well. Isak would be offended if he wasn’t feeling the same way.

“I don’t doubt that,” Even assures her. “But if we’re taking a short break anyways, Eva try and keep your arm on Isak’s left side, put your weight here, so that Isak can flip you over more easily then. I don’t want either of you getting hurt.”

Isak snorts. “It’s not a stunt, Even. I think I can manage to flip us around without Eva falling off the bed or breaking her arm or something.”

“My hero,” Eva grins for which Isak pinches her because she’s still half on top of him.

“Ow, don’t or I’ll knee you in the stomach when we turn around.”

Even sighs long-sufferingly. “It’s like working with children, I swear.”

“You love us,” Eva smiles at him. “But yes, I’ll keep my arm on my side here.”

“Okay, great. Thank you. So, you make out – we went over this already – and when I tell you to, you flip around, so that Isak’s on top and you’ll be kissing down Eva’s chest. We’ll cut there then. Alright?”

Isak nods dutifully, waiting for Eva to do the same and then settling inside his role again. It’s easier to pull up Romeo now, he knows him better than before, but shooting make-out scenes will always have a certain amount of awkwardness to it. At least he knows Eva well, which takes some of the nerves off. He also refuses to look around to gauge how many people are actually on set right now, which helps some more.

“Action,” Even shouts and Isak leans up to capture Eva’s lips with his own. They make out for longer, Eva turning her head to give him easy access to her neck and Even is suspiciously quiet. The last few attempts at this scene, he’s narrated the whole thing. Maybe they’ve finally got it right.

“Okay, Isak turn the two of you around now,” Even’s voice comes in that moment and Isak braces himself on the bed to flip them over. It really isn’t a stunt but they stumble a little nonetheless. This time when Eva smiles at him it’s Juliet smiling and Isak lets himself laugh with her a little.

“Great,” Even says. “Okay, Isak go on, take your time, we need more footage to cut all of that together.”

Isak puts a hand on Eva’s jaw, drawing her close and listening out for more of Even’s instructions. He doesn’t have to wait long. He tells them where to put their hands, once instructs Eva to quit mauling Isak, which makes her grin sheepishly at Isak, but he just grins back and he’s pretty sure that it will look like he’s completely gone for Eva, instead of them sharing a quiet joke.

“Okay, last part. Isak, kiss down Eva’s chest now. Slowly.” Isak presses tiny kisses on her collarbones, following his intuition at some point and grabbing her hand, while he continues to make his way down her stomach. Just as he stops a good few centimetres above the top of her jeans’ waistband, Even yells, “Cut! Perfect.”

Isak sits up, grinning at Eva, who gets up as well and ruffles his hair. “You know I’ll never see you as anything other than my little baby brother –“

“I’m literally the same age as you.”

“- but if that’s how you treat your hook-ups too they’re quite lucky,” Eva smiles and Isak makes the mistake of rolling his eyes and catching Even’s look. Who’s staring at him quite intently as if he’s remembering something, as if he also sometimes finds himself in the middle of doing some menial task and remembering the stupidest things about their nights together.

Isak looks away.

 

Isak is barely awake in his apartment because it’s four thirty in the morning, when Even calls him. For a horrible moment, Isak stops breathing because calls that early never mean anything good, but when he picks up he’s greeted by Even’s cheery voice.

“Isak, how do you feel about breakfast?”

“Erm, okay? I have to be at the set in like half an hour, I hope you know that.”

“Please, of course I know that, I have to be there as well, you know, as the _director_ of the _movie_ we’re _shooting_.”

“Stop that intonation, please. What do you want?”

“I want you to not eat breakfast – but have a coffee, I don’t think I’ll be able to stand you otherwise –

“Fuck you.”

“- and then meet me in the make-up trailer.”

“Fine,” Isak sighs and this is how he’s presented with a cup of coffee and four different kinds of muffins half an hour later. “Did you go on a shopping spree?” Isak asks, but takes one of the chocolate muffins. Even, of course, has also brought enough for the rest of make-up people. Eileen smiles kindly at him, while she combs back Isak’s hair ruthlessly. Isak doesn’t know what he did wrong but at least he’s got an amazing muffin and coffee.

“No, I baked.”

“Four different kinds of muffins?” Isak asks, slightly alarmed.

“Relax. I had help.” That relaxes Isak as long as it takes him to ask himself who Even knows that bakes with him. Apparently, Even anticipates that question because he says, “It turns out that Magnus is a very enthusiastic student.”

“When do you even have time for that? You’re directing a movie. How do you have time to bake?”

“I just had a little too much energy and needed to get rid of it somehow. Baking seemed like a good idea. Baking alone like a less good one, so I found myself someone to bake with. Magnus was very happy to help.” Even shrugs, holding out a second muffin for Isak that Isak gladly takes.

“But, you’re like – you’re okay?” he asks in what must be the weirdest way possible, but he doesn’t really want Eileen or her staff to realise what he’s actually asking. Movie sets are worse than school when it comes to rumours spreading like wildfire. And, while it's not a secret that Even is bipolar, it's still Even's choice when to talk about it and Isak is not going to make that choice for him in front of people who barely know him. 

Even frowns a little so Isak tries to put all what he isn’t saying into his expression, hoping that Even will get that Isak isn’t asking because he doesn’t trust Even’s own self-assessment but simply because he wants to be clear that they’re on the same page here.

Even’s face softens. “I’m good,” he smiles, so kind that Isak has to take another bite of his muffin to not say something sappy like “I hope you always feel good.” Which is a stupid thing to say anyways.

Instead, he says, “You know if you having too much energy ends with me getting muffins I have no problem with it.”

That makes Even laugh. Isak smiles into his muffin.

 

**

**[tumblr.com/search/isak valtersen]**

[Picture of Isak Valtersen stepping out of a trailer in period clothing, a coffee and muffin in hand]

[Picture of Isak Valtersen holding open the door for someone inside to get out as well]

[Picture of Isak Valtersen holding open the door for Even Bech Næsheim stepping out, holding a paper bag in one hand]

[Picture of Isak Valtersen and Even Bech Næsheim walking towards the set]

DID EVERYONE SEE THE NEW PICTURES??? ISAK IN PERIOD CLOTHING I’M GONE #my baby #now he really does look like a prince

The thing I just want to point is that isak is holding a muffin and a coffee in one hand ONE HAND I CAN’T EVEN MANAGE TO HOLD A COFFEE IN ONE HAND WITHOUT POURING IT ALL OVER ME #i mean maybe that’s just me

I. am. so. excited. for. this. movie. fuck. everything. #romeo and Juliet #who’s going to die? #me #always me

I’m so glad my son and light of my life isak valtersen is eating well and staying hydrated #who wants to bet that someone got him that muffin #i say it was some nice lady from catering who feels me and sometimes looks at isak and says #’my child you need someone to feed you because if you post another post on instagram of a sad looking pizza that you clearly just made in the microwave I am going to cry’ #and isak will grumble but let her feed him #so that I can sleep knowing that my son is being fed properly

GUYS NOT TO ALARM ANYONE BUT EVEN IS TALLER THAN ISAK???? LIKE HOW TALL IS EVEN I KINDA NEVER REALISED THAT HE’S A GIANT #h o w

#who wants to bet that someone got him that muffin #i say it was some nice lady from catering who feels me and sometimes looks at isak and says actually it might have been even?? Like if you look at the bag he’s holding that does look like one of those things you get at starbucks or so where they put in your muffins in any case I also agree that someone should definitely feed isak

Isak: posts pictures on Instagram showing the junk food he eats

The fandom: tells the universe to feed this child some proper food

Isak: turns up with a muffin that doesn’t look like it’s been baked in a microwave

The fandom: rejoices

At this point I just want to say that it’s been nice knowing you all but I will definitely not survive a film of isak in period clothing just there’s no way #my poor heart

 

**[isak_valtersen posted a picture on Instagram]**

[Picture of a half-eaten chocolate muffin next to a cup of coffee]

**isak_valtersen** : thank you


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak blinks a little, trying to seem less like a lifeless puppet and getting his vision to focus properly again. Even is still standing in front of the light. It illuminates him, dipping the contours of his body into gold. Isak imagines he’d be hot to touch just like last time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, yesterday was a rollercoaster, yes? Also, what concerns this chapter: I swear I wrote this weeks ago, but Even continues to be even more extra in canon than in fanfiction. It's a gift of his. 
> 
> Huge thank you as always to [Nika](http://itistimeforusalltodecidewhoweare.tumblr.com/) who not only makes sure that is readable, but also screams with me all the time <3 All remaining mistakes are mine.
> 
> Also thank you for your lovely, lovely comments and all the kudos! All that never fails to make me smile <33

Isak is tired. Which is nothing new, but at the moment it’s a bit of a problem because being tired doesn’t mean he’s not remembering his lines correctly but remembering other things too well.

He’s standing on the set that represents Juliet’s room in the modern universe and he’s supposed to listen to her tell him why they can’t be together, which in this universe has something to do with their friends, their families, her school stress and a multitude of other things that make her speak faster and faster until neither Romeo nor Isak can follow along anymore. The thing is, Isak can’t concentrate on Eva or Juliet because his brain thinks it’s the perfect time to dredge up old memories.

Isak tries to resist the sudden onslaught of memories, but it’s late in the day, he’s been filming for ten hours and his energy reserves are lying dead somewhere at his feet. So, when Even calls for a stop because one of the lights isn’t doing what it’s supposed to, Isak sits down on Juliet’s bed and breathes in deeply.

Eva is off to the side, typing something into her phone while simultaneously talking to one of the PAs. Isak closes his eyes. As long as he doesn’t lie down it’s fine and he won’t fall asleep. He knows that there are actors who fall asleep everywhere and to a certain extent that’s true for him, too, but right now he’d rather not wake up disoriented and sleepy. Not when they’ll resume the scene in a few minutes already.

Closing his eyes means giving up in terms of pushing the memories away, though, and when a flash of Even’s smile crosses behind his eyes, he forces them open again. He looks around the set, taking in all the people working, until his gaze lands on Even.

Isak’s too tired to make himself look away again. Even is standing in front of one of the lights, his hands on his waist, and a technician next to him. The way he’s looking up, he seems even taller than usual. The pair of headphones wrapping around his neck and the pen tucked behind his ear reminds Isak that nothing much has changed from that first time he saw Even. He’s got more confident, his gestures freer and all encompassing, but he’s still as much in his element as when he was simply one of the assistants.

Isak hears him laugh from across the room and is painfully reminded of the last time they fell into bed. Not because they were laughing that time, but mostly because there was an absence of laughter.

Isak had known that they would have sex, the moment he invited Even into his apartment. Isak had been home for a week only, had to catch a flight the next day to LA and Even came over because, “Isak, I haven’t seen you in forever, I’ll not see you for forever either, so if you really don’t want me to come, you have to fake that you’re sick. Actually, I’d probably still come and make you soup.” There was no point in saying no to him, not that Isak had ever wanted to do that.

When he opened the door to see Even there, the only thing Even said was “Hi.” The next thing Isak remembers is pulling Even close to him and kissing him. It was the first time that Isak made the first step, said ‘fuck it’ and simply pressed Even against him.

Isak blinks a little, trying to seem less like a lifeless puppet and getting his vision to focus properly again. Even is still standing in front of the light. It illuminates him, dipping the contours of his body into gold. Isak imagines he’d be hot to touch just like last time.

They fell into bed without much talking, without doing much of anything other than breathing each other in with hungry mouths. Even’s fingers were pressing too hard into Isak’s hips, but still not hard enough because Isak was going to leave for two months and when he would come back they’d work together and through some unspoken agreement Isak knew that this was the last time that this would happen for the foreseeable future.

And there’s a part that Isak can’t completely banish from his thoughts right now. The part that sticks to the forefront of his mind when he looks at Even with tiredness on his own shoulders: He knows how to touch Even. He knows how to lick over his hipbone, tease it with his teeth, just to soothe it with his tongue right after, how to do all that to make Even’s breathing heavier. He knows how to move to make Even’s hand clasp tightly in his hair, knows how to kiss him when they’re both already panting and chasing their release, when their mouths are only loosely fitting to each other anymore and Isak _knows_ all of this and he can’t seem to forget it.

Especially not now, sitting on a fictional character’s bed and revelling in memories. Not ever, really. But god, sometimes it’d be so good to forget, so that he doesn’t always have to force those memories into boxes and behind locked doors because at some point, they both decided that this is the better course of action for them. Isak wants to go back in time and shake them, scream, you fucking idiot, this is going to eat you alive, but then he remembers the way Even sounds when he laughs at the stupid things Isak says and he can’t bring himself to regret it.

“Okay, we’ve fixed it!” Even claps his hands and Isak shakes his head to dispel the memories as quickly as possible. “Everyone back to their positions, please.”

Isak gets up, evading Even’s look and walking back to his mark. “Isak, everything alright?” Even asks.

Isak looks up, puts a perfect smile on his face and says, “Sure. I look forward to having a functioning light again so that I don’t have to fade away into darkness.”

Even smiles at him in a way that is entirely too soft. “As if you’d ever fade away into darkness.”

Isak doesn’t know what to say to that, so he just nods, struggling to put the memory of an empty bed in the morning out of his mind.

 

Isak groans when he sees his schedule for the next week, together with an email by Noora that makes him aware of two new auditions and a script she was sent. He loves having her as his agent, but he’d love it more if he didn’t have to think of all that  right now.

Even, because he has no idea when to leave something alone, says, “What is it?”

“I think I’ll die in two days,” Isak says quite seriously.

“What?” Even looks up sharply from his place at the desk in his trailer, where he’s doing something or other on his laptop. They have a rare minute between filming and Even’s taken to holing up in his trailer while the set gets rebuilt for something. Isak somehow followed him here. He doesn’t know how exactly that happened either. Now, they’re both working in silence – or, well, they _were_ working in silence.

“I’ve got my schedule for the next days for the promotion of _Lazarus_. I think I’m going to die,” Isak repeats.

Even turns around in his chair to properly face him. “You do know that doesn’t inspire confidence, right? What if I really end up having to recast you?”

“It’ll probably be better, you’ll have to work with a zombie when I come back,” Isak jokes, still staring at the word document open on his laptop.

“Isak?” Even’s voice sounds serious.

“Yeah?” This time, it’s Isak who looks up. “What?”

“You know that you can take a break at – well, not at any time, but at least after this movie.”

“Sure,” Isak says, unconvinced.

Even scrapes closer on his chair. Isak pulls his feet back a little to ensure that Even doesn’t accidentally put his chair on them. When he notices, he raises his eyebrows and gives Isak’s feet a comically wide berth. Fine, Isak gets it. Even obviously would have gone out of his way not to hurt him.

“When was the last time you took a break anyways?”

“The week before we started shooting?” His voice turns up at the end of the sentence because technically that wasn’t a break. That was just catching up on sleep.

Apparently, Even is of the same opinion. “You filmed Sonja’s video then. That can’t have been a proper break. I mean like when did you last take a holiday or did something just for you?”

“I’m doing this just for me,” Isak protests half-heartedly.

Even nods. “Of course, but something apart from your job.”

Isak thinks back to the last couple years. Thinks back to the film that suddenly catapulted him out of the little space that he’d carved for himself here and put him on the radar for people outside of Norway. Thinks back to the day when he and his friends celebrated when he got cast in his first Hollywood film. And sure, the role wasn’t huge but being part of a possible trilogy centring on a group of teenagers planning a heist was enormous and the script looked fun and Isak would get to go to LA. Before the month in LA, though, there was a smaller Norwegian film – _Lazarus_ -  and then an eight-part miniseries that took forever to film and meant so much on-site shooting that by the time Isak got to LA, he was already exhausted.

“I went on a cabin trip with a couple of friends,” he finally says.

“When?”

“I don’t know. Sometime last year, I think in February.”

“It’s the beginning of May now, Isak.” Even looks at him as if Isak’s at fault for something.

“So?” he snaps. “I like my job.”

“Yeah, it’d be even sadder if you _didn’t_ like your job,” Even mumbles.

Isak closes his laptop with a loud click. “What’s that supposed to mean?” He doesn’t exactly know where the anger that’s welling up inside him is coming from but he refuses to let Even sit here and – and pity him for whatever reason.

Even rests his hands on his knees. “I just – you’re going off to promote your movie, okay, and you’ll go to a fuckton of premieres –“

“To three.”

“- and you’ll probably do press and then you’re coming straight back here to pick up filming for the last three weeks. I guess you have something lined up for after.”

Isak does. Not for three weeks but then he’s supposed to shoot some kind of action thing that he’s not really into, but Noora and the rest of his team told him that it would be better if he branched out, didn’t just play “the serious types” as Eskild had once jokingly called it.

“That’s none of your business,” Isak says, pulling his laptop close to his chest like a shield.

Even either doesn’t get the hint or ignores it. It’s good to know that Even can decide that they won’t talk about something but that apparently doesn’t apply when Isak is the one wishing to do so. Really great.

“Look, I just wanted to say that you don’t have to work quite so hard. You’re allowed to take a break from time to time, Isak,” Even sighs and Isak gets up abruptly.

“I know that,” he spits and it’s horrible being angry with Even, to watch his face fall, but Isak can’t help it. “But that doesn’t change the fact that it’s literally none of your business. We’re friends, not – nothing more. This doesn’t concern you at all,” he heaves.

“Isak, I’m –“

Isak leaves the trailer with burning blood. On his way out, he nearly runs into Irene, Even’s PA, and when she looks at him with a confused expression, he stalks off more quickly. He just needs to nap for a little and this is all going to go away. He takes a deep breath and walks towards his trailer. Even can go and mother someone else.

 

When Isak returns to the set, the atmosphere feels sticky and tight, but that might just be him because Jonas, Mahdi and Magnus all seem unaffected. Even is perfectly polite to him, giving him the same number of pointers as usual and Isak nods after each one, but refuses to engage any more than that.

Jonas once sends him a questioning look, but Isak ignores it. Seriously, why do all the people in his life not get when he has no, absolutely no urge to talk about some things?

In the break between two scenes that’s too short to go to his trailer, Isak finds himself next to Sana. She’s here more often than other script writers, which Isak would bet on has something to do with the fact that Even always says that script writers are the most important factors and should have more say in their own stories. Whatever, it doesn’t matter what Even says.

Isak shakes his head, slumping further down into his seat until Sana says, “Are you one of these people who have a resting bitchface or are you truly pissed off at something?”

Isak turns his head to her. “We’ve literally never talked properly before right now and that’s the first thing you say to me?”

She shrugs. “I mean I could ask you if you want to talk about it but to be honest it doesn’t look like it.”

Isak snorts. “No, definitely not. I’d rather talk about literally anything else.”

Sana hums, looking at the changing scene in front of them. Isak doesn’t follow her gaze, instead opting to stare down at his hands in his lap. He’d rather not look anywhere where Even is at the moment.

“I heard that you’re a nerd.”

“Awesome conversation,” Isak retorts drily, focusing back on Sana.

She rolls her eyes. “I meant what’s your opinion on the whole parallel universes take that I took with _Romeo and Juliet_?”

“How was I supposed to get that from ‘I heard that you’re a nerd’?” Isak sputters.

Sana shrugs, unconcerned. “I thought you were smart.”

“I am. I could tell you about the physics behind parallel universes.”

Sana still doesn’t look very impressed. “I know the physics behind it. I was interested in your opinion on it, not for you to explain stuff I already know. Honestly, who do you take me for?”

“A script writer?” Sana actually looks a little scary now. “Who obviously knows her stuff very well, okay, yes, I get it, sorry.” Isak puts his hands up. He doesn’t know what’s up with him today.

“Alright, so tell me: What other Romeos are there do you think? Apart from the ones I wrote about.” She smiles the tiniest bit, so Isak doesn’t feel bad for going off into a ramble about how he thinks that there has to be a universe out there where Romeo is a in love with a Julio or something, and Sana nods thoughtfully and it’s not long before they’re having a discussion about why Sana didn’t include a gay couple (“I thought it’d send the wrong message if I let them die, you know? There’s enough of that content out there. Plus, I feel like they’d deserve a brand-new story.”).

“We’re resuming the scene!” Even calls from a distance. When Isak catches his eyes for a moment, he’s looking thoughtful. Isak doesn’t particularly care.

(There’s a tiny, treacherous part of Isak’s brain that whispers at him that Even and he also discussed parallel universes once, only to find out that Even doesn’t like the idea of them. Other than in fiction apparently. He probably doesn’t remember the conversation anyway.)

“Go, do your job,” Sana says, the small smile still in place. “I guess it was alright talking to you.”

Isak fakes exasperation. “Alright? _Alright_? Sana, it was literally the best thing that happened to you today.”

“God, you actors are always so disgustingly dramatic.” She rolls her eyes, but her face is soft and Isak feels a bit better. He still brushes past Even when he’s walking towards his mark again.

 

The next morning, Isak nearly falls flat on his face when he stumbles over a huge basket in front of his door.

“What the fuck,” he mutters to himself, crouching down to what is obviously a gift basket. At first, Isak thinks it’s one of those bought ones, but then he notices two little pieces of paper stuck between the pastries and two bottles of wine. He tugs one out, folding it open to find a drawing there: a figure that looks suspiciously like Isak with a snapback is standing there with crossed arms, while another figure with hair in a ridiculously high quiff is apparently begging for forgiveness. In a speech bubble it says, “Wine + sweets = apology?”

Isak laughs quietly to himself, putting the drawing into his pocket, before taking out the second piece. This one simply has a note on it: _I would’ve come and actually brought that stuff over myself but my producers informed me that if I hold off filming because I need to run an errand they’d fire me. So, this is the best I can do, sadly. I’m very sorry in any case – Even._ ”

Isak rolls his eyes, putting the basket into his apartment but not before taking out one of the pastries inside it and eating it on his way to the set.

After hair and makeup, he instantly heads for the studio. He spots Even sitting in his chair and talking with someone, pointing to various things around him. Isak smiles helplessly. It has never even been a possibility to stay mad at him for longer.

“You know,” he says, when he’s within Even’s hearing range and Even turns away from the camera woman he’s talking to, “you’re very lucky that sweets and alcohol always work for me.”

Even starts smiling slowly. “Do they?” The camera woman sighs, before moving away slightly.

“Yes. Next time, you’ll hopefully include some weed as well, but I’ll forgive you for not doing that this time,” Isak grins.

“I don’t plan on there being a next time,” Even says and it sounds entirely too soft. Isak’s heart stutters in his chest. It’s a disconcerting feeling, like something is putting itself together at the same time as pulling him further apart. He pushes it away.

Isak’s answering smile is a little softer as well. “It’s alright.”

“I’m still sorry, I shouldn’t have –“

“Even, stop making it weird. It’s fine.” Even scrunches up his nose, which just makes Isak laugh and finally, Even joins in.

The weird feeling inside Isak doesn’t go away, but it isn’t anger anymore. He doesn’t  examine it more closely.

 

**

**[Report from the premiere of _Lazarus_ ] **

REPORTER: _Lazarus_ , a comedy about a slightly odd family, premiers today in Oslo. Our very own Maria Hauge took to the red carpet to find out how the stars of the film are feeling today.

[Cut to the red carpet: fans waving into the camera, view of stars being interviewed; cut to ISAK VALTERSEN, standing in front of the camera, smiling and folding his hands in front of his body]

MARIA HAUGE: Hey, I’m here with Isak Valtersen who plays Marius. How are you?

ISAK VALTERSEN (smiling): Really good, yeah, really good. It’s always nice to finally let other people see the film.

MARIA: I bet so. Can you tell us a little about your character?

ISAK: Sure. Marius is – well, he’s a good kid but at the same time he’s a bit overwhelmed with life I guess and the fact that his family is kinda overbearing doesn’t help. (laughing) And then, they all go on a road trip – it’s not his idea of a perfect holiday, let’s say.

MARIA: What drew you to this role?

ISAK (leaning down a little): Really, it was the script – it was so funny when I read it and I’ve never really done a comedy before. It just seemed it would be a good fit. (pulls a face) I hope that it is, at least.

MARIA: Definitely! And, before you have to go: Can you already talk about the film that you’ve been shooting in LA?

ISAK (biting his lip): Ahh, only if I want to risk getting killed on the spot. So, no. Sorry, sorry.

MARIA: It’s alright, we forgive you everything, you’re Norway’s biggest export at the moment.

ISAK (bashful): I don’t know about that, but thank you.

[Cut to MARIA talking to some of the other stars of the movie]

 

**[tumblr.com/tagged/isak valtersen]**

Three days of isak in suits kill me oh my god #when did he grow up that much #i have conflicting feelings about this #he’s still my tiny little baby #but then also #not???

[Picture of Isak Valtersen in profile, wearing a dark blue suit jacket and a white shirt] #HIS JAWLINE COULD PROBABLY CUT SOMEONE #how even #this is magic #correction: this is dark magic

All these interviews after months of drought are too much for me I need to go back through his Instagram to properly appreciate the fact that he’s not trying to communicate through food pictures anymore #a blessing and a curse #a curse because I should study right now #a blessing because of literally everything else

“Ha, I can only say that it’s going really well and the cast is fantastic.” – Isak Valtersen on what working on the set of _Romeo and Juliet_ is like #romeo and Juliet #isak Valtersen #even bech naesheim #quote

Soooo, when isak says that the cast is fantastic does that mean that we’ll get an Instagram picture of the whole cast?? No?? #can isak for once in his life not disappoint when it comes to social media

ISAK IN THE THIRD SUIT IN THREE DAYS THIS ONE IS MAROON I REPEAT MAROON I WANT TO THANK WHOEVER IS DOING HIS STYLING OH MY GOD I WANT TO HUG THEM AND TAKE THEM OUT FOR A DRINK #OH MY GOD

The maroon suit kids children lovely people of tumblr I am dead #m a r o o n

Lakdjfodaiferkkjdflf

I can’t cope with that isak wants us dead #fucking hell

I didn’t know that I needed that but hello yes I did need this jfc #that suit

“Sleeping and eating to be honest. Mostly sleeping.” – Isak Valtersen on what he loves to do most in his free time #isak valtersen #quote

Am I the only one who thinks he looks a bit tired??? #like maybe I’m projecting? #rip I would be tired if I were him

No offence but why is no one asking the really important questions namely WHERE DO I GET A POSTER OF HIM IN A THAT SUIT??? #i need a collage tbh

Me to my child in the future: remember the time he wore That SuitTM

Ugh can we not do the whole thing he looks tired and whatnot it’s exhausting he’s a grown boy ffs #he’s fine honestly #this fandom has no chill #which can be so annoying

“Well, I think I mostly post stuff that’s not particularly exciting? I don’t know so many people are on my case about that, so I’ll try and get better at it?” – Isak Valtersen on why his Instagram is so dead at times #isak valtersen #quote #i normally don’t comment on here #(not on this blog anyway) #but I love that this is now being brought up in interviews

FUCK I JUST ONLY NOW REALISED THAT THEY’LL DO A PROPER PRESSJUNKET AS WELL LIKE SITTING DOWN SOMEWHERE AND ASKING HIM QUESTIONS AND BECAUSE HE’S THE MAIN HE’S GONNA GET SOLO INTERVIEWS #NOT READY

Guys someone needs to update me asap if isak says something particularly noteworthy in one of the interviews that’ll be coming out in the coming days like I will scream otherwise #if he says anything at all that isn’t a description of his character #tell me

Anyone have any idea when that film will be available with subtitles?? #i’m dying over here

I will never get over That SuitTM you might think I’m over it because it’s been a day but joke’s on you I keep dreaming of it #i’m so done

**

“Isak, I don’t feel appreciated enough.”

Isak looks up from his phone, where Even has just sent him a picture of the rest of the cast waving into the camera in a group selfie that is entirely unflattering for most of them. “Eskild, what did I do now?” he sighs.

Eskild is going through the wardrobe he brought with him – has brought with him on every stop of the press tour so far – and says, “Did you not see the reactions to your maroon suit? I swear I deserve a rise.”

Isak ignores that expertly. Eskild always thinks he needs a pay rise, never mind that Isak already pays a ridiculous amount to have him as his stylist. The same ridiculous amount that everyone else pays, because Eskild refuses to lower his prices even though they are friends. “I need to live off of something,” he tends to say as if he’s just barely scraping by and not buying himself things nearly as extravagant as those that he gets for Isak.

“What reactions?” Isak asks.

Eskild shoots him an exasperated look. “You’re hopeless, I swear.”

“Do I have to remind you that I don’t regularly google myself unlike some people?” Isak takes an equally unflattering selfie to send back to Even.

“That’s because you like to pretend that you don't have an ego as big as the sun,” Eskild grumbles.

“It’s why I’m such a joy to be around,” Isak replies sweetly.

“See, you’re as horrible as all the other actors. Maybe even more horrible, now that I think about it. The others at least acknowledge me on Instagram.”

“Eskild, you have nearly as many followers as I do –“

“I deserve more! You only post sad looking pictures of like a half-eaten muffin. I post _art_. What the hell was the muffin about, anyways? I mean the tagline alone: Thank you? Did someone take pity on your non-existent cooking skills?”

Isak lets himself fall backward on the bed, only to have Eskild nearly screaming at him. “Isak, if I have to do your hair again, I will actually let you walk into those interviews in whatever you’re wearing now.”

Isak looks down at himself. He’s in a t-shirt that once had a clearly readable print on it, but that’s now washed out and faded beyond recognition. Other than that, he’s wearing black skinny jeans and no socks because he’s in his hotel room with a carpet floor. It’s nice curling his toes in the soft carpet. That, and Eskild made him take his two completely different socks off as soon as he came in. “Look, for some people that might be a fashion statement. On you it’s just tragic.” Isak hadn’t had the heart to argue.

“Fine, fine,” he says, rolling his eyes, but sitting up. “What am I wearing anyways?”

“This,” Eskild grins, taking out a maroon sweater with black patches on its elbows.

“Maroon? Again? Isn’t that a bit boring?” Isak frowns.

Eskild sighs so long that Isak is sure he’ll choke himself that way. “Isak, my love, my little baby gay, please never attempt to say anything about clothing ever again. At least not to me. Actually, not to any reporters either. It would probably fall back on me and I could live without that.”

“God, Eskild, do you have to be so dramatic?”

Eskild beams at him. “No, I guess you just bring out my dramatic side.”

“Whatever, just give me the sweater.” Isak reaches out his hand and snags the sweater out of Eskild’s grip.

“Please, be kind to the sweater. It costs about 3500 krones and the lovely people who lent it to you want it back.”

Isak nearly drops the sweater. “How can this cost so much? It’s a sweater not a suit.”

Eskild rests one hand on his hip and says, “I’m not deigning that with an answer. Just, hush, and put on the sweater.”

Isak glares a little at Eskild, before getting rid of his shirt and pulling on the sweater carefully to not mess up his hair.

“You know, I wanted to ask you actually,” Eskild starts, when Isak is halfway done righting the sweater properly, “how’s working together with Even?”

“Erm, good? They were kind enough to work around my promotion thing right now, which is nice.” Isak searches the floor for some socks, but Eskild is already handing some to him. These are both black. How boring.

“That’s nice,” Eskild says with an undertone that Isak pretends not to hear. “I was wondering if you knew anything about the surprise that he’s tweeted about yesterday.”

“Huh?” Isak stops putting on his socks, sitting there with one foot bare and one clothed. “What surprise?”

Eskild shrugs. “No idea, he tweeted something yesterday evening – which you’d know if you finally got Twitter – about a surprise dropping today. I don’t know when, though, I was hoping you’d have some intel, but as usual you disappoint me gravely, Isak.”

Isak blows out air. “I hate you.”

“No, you don’t. You’re extremely glad that I put you in clothes that make people salivate over you.”

“Gross, Eskild.”

“Whatever. Put on your shoes, you’ve got to be in the press room in like – five minutes. Julian will have my head if it turns out that I can’t get you there on time.”

Isak lets himself be ushered out of the room, grabbing a bottle of water on the way out and pondering over what the hell Even’s surprise is.

 

Isak has so far successfully blocked out the fact that he has barely slept in the last few days, but now that it’s his fifteenth five-minute interview, he’s reminded of the fact.

At least, he knows the next interviewer from other interviews before, and if she can’t wake him up, no one can.

“Isaaaak,” Chris says, her hair in two buns on top of her head and wearing one of her colourful jackets that have become sort of a trademark for her. “How are you?”

“Good,” he smiles, shaking her hand before she sits down. “How are you?”

“Amazing. Just saw your film yesterday, nearly died laughing.”

Isak grins. “That’s always good to hear.”

“I bet so! Okay, so are we rolling? Yes? Perfect! Hello, Isak Valtersen.”

“Hello, Chris Berg,” he greets her back, smiling and taking a sip from his water bottle. He has the sudden realisation that this might come across rude, but then he dismisses it. He’s either going to sound like a chain smoker or be able to actually talk. The second option wins out.

“Look, I know that you’ve been talking about your film the whole day, you must be so bored of it by now, right?” She makes wide eyes at him, prompting him to laugh again. “Ahh, just a little. But it’s a good film.” Julian and Noora will murder him if he isn’t overly enthusiastic. Which is not to say that Isak doesn’t like the film, he loves it and is proud of it, it’s just that talking about the film for hours is not his idea of a good time.

“Of course it is. But I thought instead we could play a game.”

Isak has seen this coming from the moment that Chris walked in. If he can count on something, it’s that. “Great,” he says, his heart beating a little too wildly. Games can be fun, they're just something that’s way less controllable than usual, boring interview questions. Well, at least he’s going to wake up now.

“Amazing. Okay, so basically, we’re going to play ‘Most likely to’. We thought that now that you’re working with Even Bech Næsheim and since the director for _Lazarus_ was Nils Helland, who is one of my personal favourites, then you should know them well enough to decide who of them would be more likely to do something. Okay?”

Isak widens his eyes a little. “Erm, yes, okay. What do I do? Do I just say their names or – oh my God, you have cut-outs of their faces. Can I keep these?” Isak marvels at the two sticks that Chris puts into his hands: both of them have comically large cut-outs of Even’s and Nils’ faces taped onto them.

“Definitely. Okay, ready?”

Isak grins. This might actually be fun. “Sure.”

“Perfect. Who’s most likely to come to work late?”

Isak considers this, before dropping both sticks into his lap and putting up his own hand. “To be honest, that would be me. I’ve never seen Even or Nils late.”

Chris laughs at him. “Fair enough. Next one, who’s most likely to set up a scene twenty times until it’s just right.”

He puts up Even’s face. “Sorry, Even,” he grins into the camera. They continue on a while, before Chris says, “Okay, last question. It’s not a most likely one, sorry. We’re just all curious whether you’ve already seen Even’s surprise.”

“Oh, I heard about that. No, I haven’t. What is it?” He fiddles with the sticks in his hands.

“Ohhh, it’s amazing. We don’t have time to watch the whole thing, but I’ll show you the first minute, can we do that?” Chris looks around at Isak’s handlers and after a lot of head shaking, they allow it. Chris pulls out her tablet, opening something and holding it out for Isak to take. “Just press play,” she says.

“Okay,” Isak looks at her a bit confusedly but follows her instructions. On the screen, Even’s face comes up, saying, “Hi, it’s Even here. So, I’m aware that this is a bit unorthodox, but I’m just so overwhelmed by the all the love you gave me for the short film cycle last year that I thought you should get something for that in return. So, this is a thank you and a film that means a lot to me. It’s a little shorter than the others, but I hope that won’t stop you from watching because as of now you all can access it for free. I hope you like it.” He pauses a little and Isak’s heart is constricting painfully. “This is for you,” Even says; nearly whispers.

Then the screen turns black, opening back up with the logo of the production company, just to be instantly replaced by two boys lying in bed, kissing and occasionally blowing smoke at the other. Isak can’t breathe suddenly and he fights to keep his face clear of any emotion other than mild interest.

One boy is wearing a snapback, blonde curls spilling out beneath it and looking like Isak imagines he must have looked himself when he was around eighteen; when he first met Even. The other boy has a leather bracelet on, one that suspiciously reminds Isak of the one Even consistently wore on that first film set. Something is rising inside Isak, rising and rising, and Isak tries to keep a lid on it. The boys are laughing and smiling and always, always kissing in-between their voiceless conversation, drowned out by the calm music in the background. It’s soft and slow, the camera never moving from its birds-eye view.

The scene can’t last very long, but Isak takes in more details: The guy who looks like him (only younger, younger and so open and Isak swallows) smiles at the other one widely, seemingly in awe that he’s lying there and kissing him. They’re not holding hands, but it’s a near thing, playing with the other’s fingers, stroking and drawing patterns. The other guy (Even, he looks so much like Even, he has his fucking bracelet, he has that quiff that Even has worn for years now) smiles, reaches up and brushes their noses together. And it’s such a small gesture, but Isak heart stutters in his chest. (The boys are so soft with each other, no hurry in their actions, in their moves, and something inside of Isak aches.)

The screen cuts back to black, a looping script appearing and this time, Isak can’t stop the little gasp that escapes him.

_Elsewhere_ , it says there.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak is perfectly aware by now that not dealing with his feelings – as complicated as they seem to be – is not turning out particularly great for him. The thing is, though, Isak also doesn’t know what exactly he should do next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I am so overwhelmed by the response to the last chapter! Thank you all so, so much, I have no words <33 
> 
> Secondly, I'm also - like we all are - still recovering from yesterday and I'm sorry that this chapter is not a particularly happy one, even when we'd all deserve fluff forever. It is heavy on the Even/Isak, though, so maybe that makes it better? Idk I'm a bit nervous and also sleep-deprived, so wohoo go me, I guess. 
> 
> Thirdly, thaaaank you to [Nika](http://itistimeforusalltodecidewhoweare.tumblr.com/), who spent the whole evening with me yesterday and screamed with me and also read through this chapter <3 There might be some mistakes left, because Ao3 likes to screw up my formatting and I don't catch all of them. If so, they're all my fault. <3

**[tumblr.com/tagged/isak valtersen]**

Omg the most likely game is the best thing that ever happened to me #chris is the fucking best

This is hilarious omfg watch me reblog all the gifs from that interview #chris is amazing #isak and chris together are genius

When she showed him evens new film was I the only one who thought he looked like idk sad?? #feel free to tell me I’m tinhatting #i just don’t get it

Isak’s reaction to elsewhere is literally our reaction too lbr #i screamed my whole face off when even dropped the link on his twitter #i swear that fucker lives to be extra and kill us #i bet he got himself ice cream and watched us have a collective meltdown

[Image of Isak’s face watching the tablet playing _Elsewhere_ with wide eyes: overlaid with text saying SHOOK] #me right now after watching elsewhere five times already #i’m so whipped for even

When she showed him evens new film was I the only one who thought he looked like idk sad?? – same tbh idk what’s that about?? Also I don’t believe for a second that he didn’t know about the film beforehand I mean they are quite good friends right #liar liar pants on fire #the film is obviously something personal to even again #maybe isak was just remembering what it is??

**[tumblr.com/tagged/even bech naesheim]**

[Gif of Even looking straight into the camera and saying, “This is for you.”] #even bech naesheim #i just #i have no words #he looks so soft in this stupid black cap and that hoodie #this is just #so lovely #for you #for the fans #this shows what a kind person he is god

Can’t believe even singlehandedly destroyed the ‘bury your gays’ trope by filming the softest and purest love story I have ever seen #the two boys are also ridiculously good actors #never heard of them before but I hope they’re in something else at some point

Ehmmmmm guys can I just make you aware something: Writer – Even Bech Naesheim he fucking wrote the whole thing not like partially, he fucking wrote it????? I’m so proud kill me #oh god

#for you #for the fans god that was so perfect it sounded so personal, so so reverent nearly?? Idk he keeps destroying my life #i’m living an even bech naesheim appreciation life

**[tumblr.com/tagged/elsewhere]**

[Gifs of Sander and Daniel from _Elsewhere_ looking at each other across the room, one looks away quickly again] #even bech naesheim #elsewhere #mine

“I think I want to just be … me when I grow up. Do you know what I mean?”  
“No, not really.”  
“Just me with a brain less loud or more manageable or just, you know, having my shit together.”  
“That started out so poetic and then it deteriorated so quickly into complete disaster.”  
“Shut up, I said my brain gets loud.”  
“I know. Sorry for that.”  
“It’s alright, nothing you can do.”  
“No? Not even distract you with kisses?”  
“Well…”  
#elsewhere #this dialogue is so cute oh god #new otp: sander/daniel

Guys I need fanfiction for this asap please I’ll pay you in tears #pleeeeeease

Can we talk about how pretty Ida is?? And also the fact that she as the original love interest of sander is not demonised??? Like a++++ #elsewhere #even is a gift to this world honestly

I think any future boyfriend or girlfriend of mine is gonna have to break into a pool for me or I won’t believe that they truly love me #this film honestly #90% of what happens shouldn’t work #but it does somehow?? #even is a genius #the pool scene just got me like #how can breaking into a pool be considered romantic ever #BUT IT WORKS #I AM SO MAD

The two actors are so good I’m still crying over them #have they been in anything else??

I’ve seen the fucking film like eight times already I can speak along to some parts EVEN THOUGH IT’S IN NORWEGIAN and even was like “it’s short I hope you watch it” hahahahhaah that just means I can watch it MORE #i’m so whipped #this film is so good #every time around I notice something new #like the way the lightning always gets brighter when they’re in a room together

[Gifs of Ida getting drunk with Daniel: in the first gif she says, “You know he loves you, right?”, Daniel looks confused; in the second gif she says, “Fuck me, you _don’t_.”]

 

**[twitter.com/evenbechnaesheim]**

Thank you so much for your response! I’m overwhelmed in the best way possible ❤

 

**

 

Isak is sitting on his hotel bed, his laptop open in his lap and the actor who looks so much like him is staring back at him.

Isak is – Isak thinks he’s supposed to feel a lot of things. Anger, maybe, at not being informed of this, at being made to watch this – this _thing_ – in front of a rolling camera, in front of an interviewer. Anger maybe also because Even never hinted at anything like this when he couldn’t stop talking about the other three films in the cycle, when he wrote to Isak daily sometimes, wringing his hands over all of it and getting scared of putting a part of himself out there like that.

Happiness, maybe, at being included in one of Even’s films in some way. Happiness because despite Even never staying, despite Even hanging a cloak of silence over whatever it is that they’re doing, it obviously means something to him. Happiness because Even remembers whole conversations that they had, remembers what Isak looked like at eighteen, remembers talking about their future and about how Even’s mind sometimes got in the way of what he wanted, but that he decided to go after the things he wanted anyway. Happiness that Isak was part of this decision in some way.

Maybe it should be betrayal. After the second time they slept together, Isak said, “Do you think we should talk about this?” and Even answered with a brilliant smile that didn’t reach his eyes, “Why? It’s good the way it is, right? I’d rather we stay friends and not make this awkward, you know? That would be best, don’t you think? Let's not complicate it with feelings.” and Isak - because he was stupid and thought that this thing they had was just some fun - said, “Yeah, you’re right. Let’s not complicate shit with feelings.” Betrayal that Isak believed Even when he said that this was not going to develop into something more, betrayal that Isak doesn’t know what to do with this now.

Confusion, at least, because what does Even want to say with this? That he loved him all along, that Isak was more than fun? That it was more than them being horny or wanting to celebrate or them simply being  _lonely_? Because this job gets lonely, gets to be too full of people simultaneously until Isak is just a hollow shell standing in the middle of a party, not knowing when he’ll have a conversation about something other than the weather or the next diet fad again. And then, like clockwork, they found each other, every fucking time and yeah, maybe Isak should be confused.

Maybe it should be lo–.

These feelings are simmering somewhere too low for Isak to reach them. All he feels is numb. Numbness that spreads from the bottom of his stomach to his fingertips, coating him in a substance like lead, sticky and thick, and he is so, so tired. His eyes hurt, but he hasn’t been crying. He hasn’t been doing anything for the longest time, he thinks. He just – he watched the movie. Twice and then once more to make sure that he wasn’t imagining all of this. Each time getting more breathless.

Now, he’s here and he’s numb. He should be angry or happy or betrayed or confused or – anything really. But there’s just this numbness and Isak thinks he at least knows what that is. He recognises something like that: It’s the feeling of standing on a cliff, waiting for a strong wind to catch him at the wrong angle and tumble him down. Where to he doesn’t know. The feelings that have been creeping up on him, the pulling and breaking inside of him is getting stronger, loud even under the layer of numbness.

Someone knocks on the door.

Isak gets up slowly, walking towards it and opening it the tiniest bit. It’s Eskild. “Oh, Isak,” he says as soon as he spots him and Isak doesn’t understand. “Can I come in?”

Isak shrugs, leaving the door open to go back to his bed, sitting down heavily again. “I brought alcohol to celebrate the end of a press day, but I don’t think you’re quite there yet,” Eskild grins, but his face falls when Isak can’t bring himself to say anything.

His voice gets softer. “Hey, baby gay. How are you? What’s wrong?”

Isak wants to shrug again, but instead he fists his hand into one corner of the blanket. “Eskild,” he says, his voice wobbling dangerously. He swallows a few times, desperate to not let the numbness crack. If he’s not numb that means feelings and Isak _can’t_ right now. Not when his eyes keep hurting with exhaustion and burning tears.

“Yeah,” Eskild says immediately, sitting down next to Isak.

“I just – I’m so _tired_. Can I – can I just go to sleep?” He feels like a child asking for permission, but his head hurts and his eyes, and his whole body is heavy and horrible and he can’t imagine going to the interviews tomorrow. He just can’t.

“Yes, of course. Come on, lie down. Lift up a little.” Eskild tugs the blanket out from underneath him. Isak lets him, closing his eyes finally, pushing his head into the pillow. It smells like non-specific laundry detergent and he breathes in deeply. It doesn’t smell like anyone else. Then, he notices Eskild making as if to get up. Isak’s hand grabs his sleeve.

“It’s alright, I’m not leaving,” Eskild shushes him. “I’ll stay here.”

Isak nods tiredly. The last thing he hears is Eskild saying, “What am I gonna do with you if you keep refusing to actually talk. You make my job as a guru way too hard.”

Isak has no answer to that.

 

**

**[tumblr.com/tagged/isak valtersen]**

He apparently cancelled all his interview appearances today #i don’t think I’ve ever seen him do that #he’s literally all non-stop all the time it seems #weird

He did look a bit sick yesterday maybe he got a cold or something #i volunteer to bring him soup #and cuddle him better #he looks like someone who’d appreciate cuddles under all that sarcasm

**

 

_As you didn’t respond to my hilarious video of that little elephant baby trying to fight with a stick on the ground, I must assume that you’re dead, Isak._

_Seriously though, are you alright?_

_I guess you’ve seen it by now._

_Maybe we should finally talk._

Isak swipes through the messages, takes a deep breath and steps onto the set. “I’m back!” he shouts, grinning widely and waiting for the others to turn to him. Eva is the first to spot him and she laughs loudly, walking over to him as fast as her huge dress allows. She keeps complaining that the dress will one day kill her.

“Did you miss me?” Isak grins, hugging her.

“It was so boring without someone to make out with regularly,” Eva smiles at him, pecking him on the cheek. “I mean Magnus volunteered but I declined.”

“Thank you, that makes me feel special.” Isak puts a hand on his heart, greeting Jonas with a fist bump.

“Dude, I heard you skipped out on interviews two days ago?” he asks, his brows furrowing.

Isak waves his question aside. “Ah, just ate something weird and wasn’t up to it.” The lie falls out of his mouth before he can think about it more.

“Isak!” someone screams and then flies at Isak, making him stumble back because he suddenly has an armful of Magnus.

“Hi, Mags,” he says, grinning also at Mahdi, who’s tagging behind.

“The whole gang together again,” Magnus says, when he’s finally let go of Isak. “Oh my god, by the way did you see Even’s new film?”

Isak freezes, before he remembers that he’s an actor. So, he just gives a noncommittal shrug while his heart is pounding too quickly. “Dude, you have to watch it, it’s so gay.”

“Mags, what the hell?” Mahdi says, bumping his shoulder into Magnus’. Eva just groans.

Magnus frowns. “It is, though? Like, it’s absolutely beautiful, but it’s gay? The dudes in it are gay? Or like bisexual or whatever, but still.” Isak is only half-listening, busy regulating his breathing and not balling his hands into fists. He has a tell and he’d rather not broadcast it to everyone – especially not to Jonas. The next time he listens again, he hears Magnus say, “Man, you totally missed Even getting annoyed because of literally everything.”

Isak swallows and he swears that he can feel Jonas’ eyes on him. His skin feels rubbed thin, incapable of protecting him properly. Still, he answers, “Annoyed? Even doesn’t get annoyed.” The smile on his face hurts a little.

“No, no, I swear he did – right? Oi, back me up here, he got like weirdly intense about some scenes that, frankly, aren’t that important.” Magnus shakes his head, grinning widely. Obviously, Even still managed to stay in his good graces after all. “He apologised for it with muffins the next day.” That explains it.

“Wow, I missed muffins? Sad.” At this point, Isak is just glad that his mouth is still forming actual sentences.

“I’ve saved some for you,” a familiar voice says behind him and Isak’s heart starts racing. Isak is dead sure that Jonas’ gaze hasn’t left him that whole time. Which is cool and not at all concerning.

“Really? Even though I didn’t even have to live through your strop?” Isak says, turning around to face Even. He looks – he looks like he always does. Tall, tousled hair from raking through it too often, his eyes wide and blue, the headphones snug around his neck and Isak hates him for a split second. For turning up and looking like this. Like the grown-up version of Sander. Then, the feeling passes or rather, Isak pushes it away crossly. It doesn’t do to dwell on these things. Not when there are four other people around them, not to mention the whole crew milling about.

“Be glad,” Even smiles, but it’s cautious and wrong on his face somehow. “It might have happened because of a really stupid reason, like someone not writing back or something equally dumb.”

Isak can’t believe him. “Really? Can’t relate to that,” he smiles widely and this time, he’s fairly sure that Even’s face actually looks hurt for a moment. “Anyway, good to be back,” he says, grinning at everyone one last time, before stalking over to the set.

His cheeks hurt.

 

Isak is perfectly aware by now that not dealing with his feelings – as complicated as they seem to be – is not turning out particularly great for him. The thing is, though, Isak also doesn’t know what exactly he should do next.

The logical step would be to take a day or two to lie in his bed, stare at the ceiling and sort through his thoughts. However, that is decidedly not happening when he’s the lead in a movie and up at 5 am at the latest every day, only to fall back into bed twelve or fourteen hours later, completely exhausted and with no resources to think about anything. Least of all Even.

What does happen is that right before he falls asleep, memories creep up on him. Isak blames it on the fact that he constantly feels tired, so that exhaustion has settled deep within him. He can’t seem to catch up on sleep enough to make the exhaustion go away. His defences against his own mind have gone down and his mind takes the opportunity to be a fucking asshole and show him some memories that Isak thought he’d repressed successfully.

Like the third time that Even and he slept together. It’s not even the act itself. That, Isak would be the most okay with at this point, but no, it’s the conversation that happened afterwards. One of the only times that didn’t just end with Isak falling asleep close to Even only to wake up in a bed too big for one person.

No, this time was different. Maybe because it was one of the few times that they searched for each other because they were both lonely, rather than high on their success. And Isak remembers this far too well:

“Do you think we have this somewhere else?” Even said, drawing patterns on Isak’s shoulder.

“What do you mean?” Isak lay half on Even’s chest, one hand on his stomach, pressing one finger slightly into a mole.

“Just – somewhere in one of all the universes –“

“I thought you hated that idea.”

“Shh, maybe it has its appeal on special occasions.”

“Is this a special occasion?”

Even was quiet for a bit. “Maybe. Anyways, that’s not what I wanted to say. I just mean, do you think we’re lying here like this in another universe?”

Something inside of Isak pulled tight. “Yeah. Probably. There’s infinite universes out there, there must be one where we lie together like this. Except, you know, still different.”

“How?” Even mumbled, his hand in Isak’s hair then.

Isak shrugged as well as possible which wasn’t well at all considering his position. “I don’t know. Maybe our relationship is different in the other universe.” Saying that felt like holding his breath for too long, Isak remembers.

Even didn’t answer back then, instead he pulled him into another kiss and rolled on top of him. Isak kissed him back eagerly if he remembers correctly and he’s sure that he does.

He has no idea what to do with those memories.

 

Isak is not necessarily avoiding Even, he’s just not going out of his way to meet him.

That works fine except for the fact that Isak sees him literally all the time when shooting. It’s great and doesn’t pull at Isak’s already frayed nerves or anything.

Today he doesn’t particularly care about that because his head is killing him. The lack of sleep is apparently finally catching up to him and he’s got a migraine. Still, he’s in a scene with Eva so Isak does his best to concentrate on what they’re supposed to be doing. That works quite well for a time, especially because he chugs water in every break to stave off the headache a little. The cold water is doubly nice because he feels too hot, sweat clinging to his back. He won’t mourn Romeo’s outfit when shooting’s done. It has way too many layers.

When the room starts spinning though, Isak becomes a tiny bit concerned. He decides to push through it; he’s probably just had too little to eat in the morning because his stomach was feeling slightly weird. It’s fine. _Isak_ is fine. He has to be, who else is going to play Romeo if not him?

He shakes his head a little to get rid of the dizziness, which turns out to be a mistake. The room starts spinning faster, bright lights appearing in front of his eyes, and Isak catches himself calling out, “Wait. Sorry, we have to stop. I just have to like – I’m gonna sit down for a second.”

He plops down on the ground, pulling his knees close to his chest and putting his head on them. He closes his eyes, but his ears are ringing and Isak has only fainted once in his life, but he remembers feeling like this before: the world turning into a blur of colours, white noise in his ears and a sick feeling in his stomach. He struggles against his body. God, he doesn’t want to faint. Not here, not where everyone can see him, where he’s supposed to be working, but he’s so hot and his head hurts and his stomach is lurching.

Then, there’s a warm hand on his head, pushing it farther between his own knees and someone says, “Breathe, Isak. Breathe. In, out, come on, you can do that.” Isak gasps, taking in breath after rattling breath. The hand on his back is rubbing up and down, splayed protectively over his spine. The blurring colours behind his eyelids slow down their spinning and the sick feeling dissipates slightly.

“Someone get him a doctor,” the voice behind or next to him says. Isak wants to shrink away from it. He’s never liked doctors, a fear back from when he carried around the guilt for deserting his mother for a career in acting and letting doctors take her away. The guilt for that hasn’t kept him awake in years now, not when his mother is better than ever, but the fear of doctors remains in some way.

“It’s alright, it’s gonna be fine,” the voice says and Isak shudders. His body is betraying him, clenching and sweating as if he’s tried to kill it with something. He can barely stifle a whimper in his throat. “Isak, hey, it’s alright, you’re fine – well, not now, but you will be, I promise.” Isak can finally place the voice through the ringing in his ears.

“Even,” he croaks, balling his hands into fists and pressing them to his eyes.

There’s a commotion then. A doctor, someone pulling his head back, blinding him with something, making Isak flinch away. Someone makes him drink some more water, gets him to breathe regularly again and somehow, they get him on the couch of his trailer. Isak thinks he loses time at some point. Through it all, Even’s hand or voice is always close by. The world turns black for a while.

The next time he opens his eyes, he’s lying down and the spinning has stopped. His ears are blessedly free from any ringing. He still feels like shit, though, and he doubts that he could get up if he wanted to. He decides against trying.

When he looks around his trailer, he finds Even sitting at the desk, laptop open in front of him and Isak coughs. Even’s head snaps around to him and he’s next to him in a second.

“Hey, how are you?” he asks, kneeling down next to the couch so that he’s on eye level with Isak.

“Okay,” Isak says and Even looks at him incredulously.

“Wanna try that again without lying?” he asks.

Isak rolls his eyes, which makes everything shake. He grabs for his pillow to hold onto something. “Fuck,” he breathes when the vertigo has settled a little again, “what time is it?” His voice scrapes across his throat.

“It’s in the evening,” is all that Even says.

Isak tries to get up too quickly, but Even’s hand on his shoulder keeps him pressed to the couch. His stomach lurches uncomfortably. “Fuck,” he whispers again. “I slept for – how long did I sleep?”

“I don’t know, a few hours. Don’t worry, there was always someone there and I came as soon as we wrapped up for today.”

That is so not what Isak is stressing over. “But I missed – oh my god – I missed nearly a whole day. What did you shoot? What did you – fuck, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what happened. I’ll be fine tomorrow, you won’t lose more time because of me.” He’s dimly aware that he’s babbling but his head is hurting again and Isak’s missed a whole day. He’s never been sick enough to not be able to shoot.

“Isak, hey, it’s okay. We’ve shuffled some things around, you’ve got time to get better. Under no circumstances are you coming to the set tomorrow.” Even is smiling softly and that – that just makes it worse. He’s so kind when Isak doesn’t deserve it. Not when he’s halting production and making others create new schedules and fuck, making them fall behind because there aren’t that many scenes without him left to shoot.

“I’m sorry,” he gets out again, before he bites down on his lip to keep from saying anything else. The thoughts inside his head are tumbling all over each other, crashing into the walls that Isak has built to keep a handle on everything. 

Suddenly, Even’s hand is in his hair, stroking through it carefully. “Isak, stop worrying. I’ve got it under control, we just want you to get better, okay? No one is mad at you. We just want you to be able to not look like you’re keeling over any second, okay?”

Tears are sticking to Isak’s throat and no matter how often he swallows, they won’t leave.

“How about we get you home, alright?” Even says, still so soft and careful.

Isak blinks and nods slightly.

 

Getting to Even’s car and from his car to Isak’s flat is a horrible experience, wherein Isak nearly falls twice were it not for Even keeping a strong hold on him. Finally, Isak stumbles into his bed, breathing heavily and sweating again.

“I’ll be right back,” Even says. Isak rolls around so that he can lie on his back, hating himself for every little movement that his body protests, and closes his eyes again.

The tears are still pressing harshly against his eyelids, threatening to spill over any time, but Isak just closes his eyes tighter. He doesn’t know where Even’s gone, maybe he’s left for good? No, there was something about him returning, but Isak is tired and everything feels gross and he just wants to sleep and forget that this day happened at all.

“Hey,” Even greets softly. Isak refuses to open his eyes. “I brought you some more water. The doctor said you should drink as much as possible. Don’t worry, she was confident that you’ll feel better in a couple days.”

Isak opens his mouth to answer something but he can feel a sob rising from his chest. The exhaustion from the past days ( _months_ , a voice in his mind whispers unhelpfully) is boiling beneath his skin, wanting to have some outlet. Isak clamps his mouth shut, breathing labouredly. He bites his cheek, sucking in air until the feeling of losing all control over himself distances itself the tiniest bit again. 

The bed dips next to him and Isak is reminded of a week ago when Eskild joined him on the bed, let him sleep and sleep and informed him in the morning that Julian took care of all of his interviews. This is different, though. He can hear Even rustling around on the bed, carefully and slowly to not jostle Isak probably, but then there’s a hand in his hair again.

Isak bites his cheek so hard, it’s a wonder he doesn’t taste blood.

“Hey,” comes Even’s voice again, barely louder than a whisper as if he knows that anything else would instantly shatter the last remnants of Isak's protection, “Isak, it’s okay. I promise. It’s okay, nothing is more important than your health.”

Isak moves around, lying down on his side so that he’s theoretically facing Even but he doesn’t open his eyes. He’s shortly distracted by his head pounding harder at that movement, but then it fades into the dull pain from before and the only thing that hurts is the burning in his lungs and behind his eyes. His chest is too tight to hold his lungs, clenching around him and making him take quicker breaths.

“Isak, it’s gonna be okay. I promise. If it turns out I’m wrong, you’ll get to hold it over my head for the rest of eternity in every single universe, okay? But I promise that I’m not,” Even says and maybe it’s his calm voice or the hand that’s still stroking through Isak’s hair or it’s the fact that he’s here, staying in Isak’s bed and caring for him that makes something in Isak’s chest split wide open. Suddenly, the pressure on his lungs gets to be too much and Isak chokes on a sob.

There’s no point in fighting this anymore, Isak knows, but for a while he struggles valiantly against the sobbing that’s threatening to overtake his body. He’s so very tired, he can’t breathe properly, and, worst of all, Even is there, seeing him like this. There are tears on his face, clogging his nose, and the shards of something breaking inside of him are sticking to his insides, scratching at the walls he carefully built around everything, and then suddenly Even’s close by.

He’s tugging Isak against his chest, one hand still in his hair, Isak’s hands smushed between their bodies. Isak curls one into Even’s shirt, too tired to push himself away, and he doesn’t know if Even is saying something, he can only hear himself making ugly, desperate noises and burying his face into Even’s neck.

This is not the kind of crying that Isak can produce on command for various roles. This is the kind of crying that they have never asked of him on a set, the kind that tears through his body, burning everything in its wake and leaving Isak breathless. This is the kind of crying that hollows him out, that he wouldn’t want to reproduce for a movie.

He doesn’t know how long it takes for the aching in his chest to subside a little, how long until the tears aren’t drying him out anymore, how long until he’s aware of his place in Even’s arms. When he comes to, he freezes. Even doesn’t stop brushing fingers through his hair, running his free hand up and down Isak’s back until Isak relaxes little by little.

When Isak’s fairly sure that he’s got some control back over his voice, he whispers, “Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, that shirt needed a wash anyways,” Even says and Isak’s chest draws tights once more. It’s too soon to joke about this, to make like – “Hey, hey, it’s okay. You’ve got nothing to be sorry for. How about you just sleep a little?”

Isak nods slowly. That makes sense. He’s even more exhausted than before. He budges up slightly, making as if to disentangle his hands from Even’s shirt, when one of Even’s hands catches his. “What are you doing?”

Isak looks at him for the first time since that horrible afternoon began. Even’s eyes are dark, but there’s a confused smile on his face.

“Don’t you want to go? You never stay,” Isak says, his voice too raspy and breaking in the middle of the sentence. He coughs into his fist, just to rub that same hand against his temples. Crying doesn’t help when you already have a headache it turns out. Even leans back, Isak’s hand falling onto the mattress between them and right, Isak just asked whether Even wants to go. This is Even going then.

Isak realises that he’s never seen this. Normally, he wakes up to Even already being gone. He finds that he’d actually prefer that to the slow removal he’s witnessing now. Something tugs sharply in his stomach.

Then, Even leans back holding a glass of water. “Here.” He helps Isak sit up slightly and take slow sips from the water. When Isak falls onto the bed again, he feels vaguely more human.

“Do you want me to go?” Even asks. His voice carries no hint of judgement and Isak is too tired to figure out what Even would prefer.

“No,” Isak mumbles into the pillow and half into Even’s shoulder because it’s still close.

“Then let’s just sleep,” Even suggests.

“Okay,” Isak says, hating how small he feels. His breathing is getting heavier again, his skin bristling and pulling at him.

“Can I –“ Even starts, laying one arm carefully on Isak’s waist, his fingers barely there. Isak isn’t quite sure what he’s asking but at this point he’s willing to give him everything, so he nods and the next thing he knows is that he’s once again in Even’s arms.

Isak falls asleep with his skin settling properly around his body again.

**

**[gossipgirly.no]**

Isak Valtersen collapses on _Romeo and Juliet_ set

Isak Valtersen, currently filming as Romeo in Even Bech Næsheim’s new adaption of _Romeo and Juliet_ , collapsed on set this morning, gossipgirly was informed. The 24-year old actor, whose film _Lazarus_ is currently in cinemas, reportedly fainted on set.

A representative for the movie only told gossipgirly that production will go forth as planned and that the whole team wishes Isak a speedy recovery. We here at gossipgirly can only echo that!

UPDATED: Isak Valtersen’s agent and publicist, Noora Amalie Sætre, issued a statement on his behalf: “Isak is very thankful for all the well-wishes and is currently resting. He and his doctors are sure that he will be back to good health very soon.”

**[tumblr.com/tagged/isak valtersen]**

Babyyyyyyyyyy #what the fuck happened

I need him to be okay oh my god who just faints out of the blue??? #get well soon

Okay okay but like I need to know did no one look after my child?? Who is responsible for letting it come to that??? I need to write a complaint #look you think I’m being funny #but IM REALLY NOT #MY CHILD HAS BEEN HURT

Mhmm, tbh this just sounds sketchy like notice how no one said what’s wrong with him?? Like he did look kinda bad during that press junket maybe something’s actually wrong #mhmmm

Can everyone just stop reaching for a fucking minute?? We have no clue why Isak collapsed but two different sources now told us that he’ll be fine, so can we just, collectively, c h i l l? That’d be so lovely wow #honestly sometimes I just want to scream at some people #this is why blacklisting exists #ugh #i’m going back to reblogging pretty pictures of my son now

You: I bet isak fainted because he’s super stressed and also has a weird illness  
Me: lol I bet he tried cooking for himself and nearly killed himself

ugh the twitter fandom is going nuts is2g what do they think writing each person in the cast is going to do?? #like sure they’ll reply to you

isaaaak my son I hope he’s lying in bed and getting the most out of being sick I’m talking soup and cuddles and lots of blankets and pillows #im gonna sue if that doesn’t happen #hope he gets well soon #he deserves all the sunshine in the world

**[twitter.com/evenbechnaesheim]**

Lovely people, I’ve been told – by Isak, no less – to assure you that he’s fine and that you should stop worrying. It’s all good. You’ll still get to see him as Romeo in the near future!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak’s heart is hammering as he pulls Romeo to the forefront of his mind and he inhabits his mannerisms, his quirks and his thoughts again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your response to the last chapter was overwhelming and amazing and I can only say that I love you all and am very thankful <33 We're past the halfway point now, so that's exciting! 
> 
> Thank you to [Nika](http://itistimeforusalltodecidewhoweare.tumblr.com/)! I couldn't have done 90% of that whole thing without you! <3 All remaining mistakes are mine.

Isak only wakes up sporadically in the next three days.

The first morning, he’s convinced that he must be dreaming because Even is still there, sitting next to him, his laptop in his lap and typing something. “Huh?” Isak mumbles, half-holding his head up and absentmindedly noticing that it doesn’t hurt as much anymore. He’s still tired, though.

“Good morning,” Even smiles down at him. Isak just stares back. This is either a very nice dream or a nightmare, depending on how this continues.

“Do you want something to eat? You’re sadly not allowed to eat anything fun but I could make you toast,” Even offers, putting his laptop down.

Isak blinks a few times. “Okay?”

Even snorts a little. “You’re cute when you’re sleepy.” He gets up before Isak has time to answer. That’s fine because Isak doesn’t know what to say to that anyway. He buries his head in his pillow, dozing off again until Even returns with two slices of dry toast. Isak eyes them warily.

“Sorry, as I said, you’re not getting anything more interesting until the doctor makes sure that it’s all fine. Do you even feel like eating something else?” Even frowns at him, kneeling down on the bed and setting the plate between them.

Isak listens to his stomach. He’s not particularly hungry. “No, not really,” he mumbles. Everything more than whisper seems like too much work, so he eats in silence with Even’s fingers hitting the keyboard as the only background noise.

Isak swallows the last bite, lying back down again. His eyes already feel heavy, but there’s one thing that he needs to ask. “Why’re you not on set?” he rasps and his voice is somehow shot to hell.

Even shoots him an incredulous look. “My lead actor is sick in bed and I can do my work for this morning from here. I’m not leaving.”

“You’re the director,” Isak points out, blinking the sleep away fruitlessly.

Even actually rolls his eyes. “Yes. Now I’m directing you to go back to sleep. Everything else is under control.”

Isak’s eyes are already closing when he answers, “Fuck you.” It has the desired effect of making Even laugh out loud. Isak smiles a little.

After that, Isak slips in and out of sleep without any rhythm. If it’s not the afternoon, Even is there, making him toast and bringing water bottles because it turns out that Isak can drink from those without moving too much. If Even isn’t there, Julian stops by and for once in his life he manages to lower his voice to something that’s not loud enough to be heard three blocks over. He brings Isak flowers (“Why?” Isak asks on the rare occasion that he’s awake for longer than an hour. “Because it looks sad enough here as it is.”) and tidies up the apartment, moaning about the fact that this was not in his contract but threatening Isak with bodily harm if he so much as thinks of getting up.

At some point the doctor returns, telling him to take it easy for some more time. She has Noora in tow, who makes him soup and mostly sits next to him quietly. It’s nice. She brings him a framed picture of the cast that they’ve all signed their names across. He can barely make out the people in it because of the signatures but it doesn’t matter.

There’s also the onslaught of messages that Isak receives once he can look at his phone again without wanting to throw up from the bright light. There’s one from Eva saying, _I miss my Romeo :((._ Another from Jonas, _I’ve decided to steal your role_ and immediately afterwards, _just kidding, hope you’re getting better <3._ There’s also one from Sonja that simply says, _if Even isn’t taking care of you I will fly over to you and knock him over the head for you. Get better, you can’t die before the music video comes out._ Eskild just sends four rows of hearts and an instruction on how to get the most out of being sick. Isak’s mom sends a simple _I love you, get better, baby_. Even his dad asks _Do you need anything?_ Isak smiles to himself at all of them. (He will never have the kind of relationship with his parents where he’ll visit them regularly but they’ve come so far and he’s been content with the way it is for a long time now.)

In the afternoon of the third day, Isak finally feels more awake, managing to get up to sit at the small table in his kitchen. Noora busies herself in the kitchen, making enough soup to feed him for at least a few weeks and Isak watches her. She finally turns around from where she’s been scrubbing the kitchen corner with more vigour than it deserves.

She folds her hands in front of her. “You know that you’re allowed to say no to the things I send you, right?”

“Yeah?”

Noora sighs. “No, I don’t actually think you get it.”

Isak leans back in his chair. Carefully, because he’s still not quite trusting his newfound sense of balance. “Excuse me, I think I’m able to decide which projects I want to do and which not.”

“Sure. But for which reasons do you decide against some projects?” Noora puts her hands on the corner, fixing Isak with a hard look.

“Well, either because the script is shit or it’s one of those scripts or auditions where you put in your own notes, which basically say ‘only take this if you really love it’, or because the shooting clashes with another project.” Isak shrugs.

“What do you mean ‘clashes’?”

Isak looks back at her incredulously. “Are you kidding? Clashing as in like, the shooting overlaps with another one.”

Noora isn’t impressed. “Okay, and what if there’s only one week between two shoots or even less?”

Isak shakes his head a little, not understanding. “Then … it doesn’t clash? What’s the problem?”

“Isak,” Noora says slowly as if he’s being obtuse on purpose, “the doctor told me – and you, but you were barely awake – that you most likely collapsed because of stress. She asked me for your schedule and when I told her all that you’ve been doing for the past two years, she just said that it’s a wonder you held out this long. It literally took for your body to breakdown for you to take a break.”

Isak tries to follow her train of thought. “But like, there’s a lot of people who are stressed and who are fine! I mean Sonja tours all the time and Eva has another shoot lined up after this one I think and – everyone is stressed!”

“Yes, and you won’t hear me saying that that’s healthy, but the difference is that at least they take breaks at _some_ point. The last break you took is so far back that even Julian didn’t know off the top of his head when I asked him.” Noora actually looks a little angry now.

Isak’s shoulders slump. “Sorry, I’m sorry, what –“

Noora sighs loudly. “I’m not angry at you. I just want you to think about what kind of projects you’ll take on and whether maybe, just maybe, you should start planning for some kind of break.” Isak nods slowly and Noora shoots him a small smile. “Just try to think about it and get back to me when you’ve made some progress.”

Isak isn’t entirely sure what progress she means, but he nods nonetheless.

 

It’s an odd feeling having the apartment to himself again.

Isak walks around, constantly a little surprised that he’s not in danger of fainting anymore and that there isn’t someone’s head popping around the corner to ask him if he needs something. It’s nice. Not that he doesn’t appreciate his friends, it’s more that getting back to normal has sometimes seemed impossible during the last four days, but now that it’s slowly happening, Isak revels in the feeling.

He warms up some soup and then takes a photo of the steaming bowl, captioning it _back to business._ He silently delights in the fact that the caption makes no sense for the photo because he gets a kick out of only posting stupid pictures with even stupider captions as long as he gets away with it. Sometimes Noora steps in and tells him to please promote a film with a proper picture and not by taking a photo of the red carpet where only one corner can be seen. Isak obliges because he’s a nice person and because if he doesn’t, the next person to chew him out for his apparently wrong use of his Instagram is Even.

Even, fuck. Isak stops in the middle of eating his soup and struggles against the impulse to just hit his head against the table. It was easy to block out the fact that Isak cried all over Even’s shirt and then asked him to stay when all that he could think about was that sleep had dug its claws into him, not letting go.

Now, though, Isak is disgustingly awake and a wave of shame runs through him. He’s supposed to be back on set tomorrow, looking at Even and not feeling like his bones are just figuring out how to correctly settle inside his body. He groans out loud, aware that no one can hear him.

He’s saved from thinking more about the inevitable awkwardness that will transpire tomorrow when his phone rings.

“Hey, Eskild,” he greets, putting a spoonful of soup in his mouth.

“Isak, you’re in the land of the living again!” Eskild crows into his ear. Isak tries to be annoyed but gives up quickly. 

“You make it sound like I was dead.”

“The way everyone worried about you, it felt like you were honestly.”

“Oh” – Isak stares at the soup in front of him as if there’s an answer to this in there – “I’m sorry, I didn’t want anyone to worry.”

Eskild makes a displeased noise. “Sometimes it is increasingly hard to hold a conversation with you in which you don’t automatically assume that everything’s always your fault. What I meant to say was that your friends were worried for you because they care about you, not because they want to make you feel guilty on top of you already feeling like shit.”

Warmth spreads through Isak’s chest, settling in the nooks where he has ripped himself open a few days ago. He bites down on a smile. “Oh, well, I’m good now.” This time, Eskild snorts. “What?” Isak asks, getting up to put his bowl away.

“Forgive me if I don’t take your word for that.”

“What the fuck, Eskild. I’m perfectly able to talk to you about my own health.”

“Sure, doesn’t mean that I’ll believe you. Where’s Even?”

Isak nearly shatters the bowl in the sink. “What?” It seems like this is the only thing worth saying in a conversation with Eskild.

“When I called you a couple of days ago he picked up for you to very kindly tell me that you were not actually in danger of dying as half of the internet was convinced. I thought you knew that. He did send out a tweet to tell everyone that you’d be fine – trust me, that was important, otherwise I think your fans would have probably imploded.”

“He sent out a tweet?”

“That’s what you’re focusing on?”

“Eskild, I have basically slept straight through the last three days, I can focus on whatever the fuck I want to.” Isak wanders from the kitchen to the living room, sinking into the couch and grabbing his tablet from the coffee table. Opening twitter with one hand turns out to be slightly complicated but he manages.

“How are you so grumpy when you’re finally better again? But yes, he tweeted that you’ll be fine and that you told him to tweet that.”

“I definitely did not.”

“Aww, but then that’s even cuter. He’s a very nice person,” Eskild coos. Isak has finally found Even’s twitter where, true to Eskild’s word, said tweet is at the top.

“Yeah,” Isak says, still staring at the tweet. So, Even not only stayed with him, but also reassured others that he was fine. There’s a small voice in Isak’s head that also reminds him of the film that Even put out just two weeks ago. Isak swallows. He never meant to let Even see him this vulnerable.

“Okaaay, let’s ignore how weird you just got,” Eskild says, and before Isak can protest he babbles on, “So, what will you do with your free day today? Please tell me you’re thinking about getting Twitter now that you have time and saw that you keep missing stuff. Honestly, Isak, I can’t always be expected to give you all the updates about what’s going on in the spheres of the internet that you refuse to even touch. It’s sad, really.”

Isak lets Eskild drag him in a conversation about social media to gain a reprieve from the thoughts centring around Even. At least for now.

 

Isak has been back for three days and has successfully managed to only talk to Even about stuff to do with filming. It’s easy to talk about how to act in this and that scene because that isn’t Isak, that’s Romeo they’re talking about, and if Even notices that Isak hasn’t talked about himself with Even since he last left his apartment then he doesn’t mention it. 

Isak makes sure to spend all of his lunches with Eva or Jonas or Magnus and Mahdi, or Sana, who seems like she can see right through him, but says nothing nonetheless. Isak can appreciate that. He also never goes to his trailer without dragging someone with him to ensure that, should Even come in unannounced, Isak would have an excuse to not talk to Even on his own.

And it’s stupid, but it’s also the only way Isak knows how to deal with the feeling of his chest stuttering whenever Even’s around and his shoulders drawing tight in memory of that time in Even’s arms.

That works until they start filming the scene where Romeo discovers the supposedly dead Juliet. Eva has been joking about this scene for days now, talking about how it’ll be the best day ever because she’ll be paid for essentially sleeping her way through a scene, but Isak dreads it.

He’s read the script so many times that he knows Sana’s stage directions by heart: Romeo falls to his knees next to Juliet, staring at her in terror, putting his hands all over her, ultimately resting them on her face. He breaks down.

And here they are now. Juliet lying in her bed, a blanket draped loosely over her, and Romeo has already found her. Isak has played the part of Romeo walking in and not knowing what to expect, stopping dead in his tracks before hurrying towards Juliet and then sitting down next to her on the bed. There was a cut then and Isak stood up abruptly. He has entirely too much time on his hands until the cameras are positioned just right for the next scene.

Eva is no help because she’s dozing, while Isak is trying to calm his racing heart. He’s never been afraid of crying on film before, has done it dozens of times and yeah, at first it was awkward, but it was always the character and never Isak, always clear that no one on set would ever see _Isak_ actually break down like that. But now when he looks up, he is confronted with the fact that Even is there. Even, who held him while Isak’s chest was splitting apart, who saw Isak lose it and is still here somehow.

In that moment, Even appears in front of him. “Alright,” he says, focusing only on Isak. Isak stares back. “Do you want to talk about how Romeo is supposed to be feeling right now? To help you get into the mindset or are you already there?”

Isak swallows heavily. He doesn’t know what overcomes him when he answers, “Let’s talk about it a little.”

Even’s eyes widen for a split second, but in the next he’s back to being a professional director. “Okay, so what’s your gut reaction to this?”

“Dread,” Isak says too quickly. Even looks at him, his brows furrowed. Isak hastily explains, “I think Romeo is dreading this. He’s seen her when he walked in, he knows that something isn’t right – like, he’s not sure of it yet and he doesn’t want to believe it, but he’s already dreading it. Trying to quell it, but not succeeding. Not really.” Even nods along to what he’s saying now. Isak looks down at his hands. “Do you want – what exactly do you want from the scene? I mean I know what it says in the script, _obviously_ –“

Even chuckles. “Of course you do, I never doubted that.”

“Yeah, well, that’s good because I’m amazing at learning lines by heart, did you know?” Isak boasts because it’s easier than saying anything else.

“Wow, I’m impressed,” Even grins.

“Yeah? I think you could stand to be more impressed by my talents.”

“Do you want me to fall to my knees and worship you or what?” Even laughs except that Isak now has a completely different picture in his head and judging by how Even is looking at him, he has, too. Isak folds his arms in front of his chest to give himself something to do. “Anyway,” Even coughs, transforming into the professional director again, “about the scene: How about we just try it and you do whatever feels right and if it doesn’t work out then we’ll try again. Is that okay?”

“You don’t want to have more of a hand in directing me?”

Even shrugs. “You’ve been playing Romeo for more than a month now. You know him better than I do. I trust you.”

Isak nods, wanting to know how the hell Even manages to say these things so easily, to put them out there without warring with his brain before. Then again, maybe he struggles with them as well and his process is just faster than Isak’s.

“Let’s do this then,” Even smiles, squeezing Isak’s shoulder once and returning to his chair. Isak breathes in deeply and gets back to his mark, sitting down besides Eva, who pets his knee.

“Cry for me,” she says with half-closed eyes.

Even gives him a few minutes before calling action. Isak’s heart is hammering as he pulls Romeo to the forefront of his mind and he inhabits his mannerisms, his quirks and his thoughts again. He shifts on the bed, settling his weight properly on his knees because Romeo is going to be frantic, he doesn’t have time to sit back on his heels and observe. Romeo is all rash action and feelings all over the place, no time for thinking things through, and Isak can’t relate but he can give him some of his own feelings. So, he looks at the wound in his chest again. He ignores his own emotions of shame and embarrassment over Even having seen him breaking apart and thinks that Romeo wouldn’t care who seems him like this. Romeo would not be concerned with others at all, only with Juliet lying here, and Isak taps into the well of emotions that he’s been carrying around for some time now.

“Action!”

Isak’s hands are frantic when they glide over Eva, when they make contact with her chest where Isak feels a heartbeat but Romeo doesn’t. He flinches away from her chest, searching for something that’s still her, that still behaves like her and he cups her face gently with trembling fingers. There are tears in his eyes already, but then he moves one hand to put to her neck. Romeo is searching for a pulse, for some sign of life, but he doesn’t fine one. Where Eva is warm and alive, Juliet is cold and dead.

Isak heaves in air, his lungs constricting painfully and he’s reminded that this is not just Romeo here, no matter how much he tries to convince himself of the fact. His chest, barely healed over, not even scarred yet, breaks open at the simplest of motions. So, when he presses a kiss to Juliet’s cheek, to her eyelids, to her chin, her lips, he’s already overwhelmed. And maybe Romeo wouldn’t mind that others are watching, but Isak lets him close his eyes because Romeo might not mind the others, but he can’t stand to look at Juliet like this. He presses his forehead to hers and finally, Isak allows the emotions to bubble over.

He shakes against Juliet’s forehead: silent, because this is Romeo’s grief and it’s just for him. At some point he stops, tears still running down his cheeks, but he lies down next to Juliet, gathering her in his arms, her lifeless form and breathing her in. This time, Isak is not sure whether it’s really Romeo crying or Isak, or maybe both and he lost the plot a little while back.

“Cut,” Isak hears but the tears don’t immediately stop. Romeo is still sticking to him when Eva sits up and hugs him to her.

“I’m not a baby,” he croaks, tears everywhere. Make-up is going to probably need a fucking hour to get him back to not looking like he just cried his eyes out.

“Shut up, you nearly made _me_ cry. I’m supposed to be dead, you fucker. Can you maybe act worse the next time so that I don’t have to try so hard to keep still?” Eva says into his hair, lightly slapping him over the head.

“Can’t let you sleep through everything,” Isak mumbles, starting to find back to himself. Romeo is receding back into the box Isak keeps for his characters and while Isak still feels a little raw, now he mostly feels gross. Crying is messy and already sucks when he does it for his own sake.

“Isak?” Even asks and Isak pulls back from Eva’s shoulder, lying down on his back and staring at Even, who’s standing at the foot of the bed.

“Yeah? Was that okay?” he asks, wiping a hand over his eyes quickly. The uneasiness from before is coming back as quick as lightning and maybe he should’ve held onto Romeo for longer.

Even stares at him incredulously. “Ok- Isak, that was amazing. It was heart-breaking to watch but it was incredibly amazing. The only reason why you’ll have to do it again is because we need more angles, but you were perfect.” Even is gesticulating wildly with his hands, which he always does when he’s excited about something and Isak swallows.

“Isak, make-up!” someone calls out to him and he disentangles himself from Eva, who pecks him on the cheek with the words, “Let them make you look presentable again. I can’t have your ugly face crying over me.” Isak rolls his eyes, but he appreciates her efforts to keep this light.

When he’s finally up, he ends up walking over to the far corner of the set where make-up has set up their stuff. His walk is a little slow, tiredness from all the crying sitting heavily on his shoulders. The knowledge that he has to do it again doesn’t help in waking him up either. He’s distracted from all that, though, when Even jogs up next to him and grabs his arm gently. Isak stops, eyeing Even.

Even is fidgeting: He’s raking a hand through his hair continuously and his gaze is flitting from Isak’s face to the floor and back to his face. Isak raises his eyebrows, waiting for him to say something. Normally, Isak would feel awkward or responsible for starting some kind of conversation, but he’s reeling from the scene, his chest knitting itself back together slowly. He has enough time to wait for Even to say whatever it is he wants to say.

In the end, Even doesn’t say anything. He just looks at Isak, cocks his head a little and steps forward. Isak freezes, but then Even’s arms come up around him, pulling him into a hug. For a second, Isak has no idea how to respond. It’s not that they don’t hug – normally, when Isak hasn’t just spent three days with Even watching over him -, it’s just that they hug like friends do: quickly as a greeting or longer if they’re saying goodbye. They don’t do _this_. Holding the other person for the simple sake of holding them. Isak’s own arms sneak up, twisting them around so that he can put them over Even’s shoulders and he has to balance on his tiptoes a little for that, but it’s worth it.

“Good job,” Even whispers against his ear and Isak breathes in.

They’ll make it through this. Whatever awkwardness is lingering between and around them, they’ll make it through this. Isak will be damned if he doesn’t make this happen.

 

“Spill,” Jonas says as soon as he enters Isak’s trailer.

“What?” Isak frowns at him. Jonas is carrying two kebabs in his hands because he’s an amazing friend – not that Isak will tell him that, Jonas better know that already anyway. “Also, give me one,” Isak adds, getting up to take one of the kebabs from Jonas’ hand.

“Who said that one of them was for you?” Jonas asks, but lets Isak take the one with less vegetables in it. Isak simply smiles at him, making Jonas sigh but sit down on the couch with Isak.

“Were you watching TV? Like, were you actually not working when I came in?” Jonas then says because the TV is still showing some cartoon that Isak had half-heartedly followed. In truth, he’s mostly had it on to have some sort of background noise on while he was doing – nothing, actually. Thinking maybe, but as Isak didn’t get really far, he hesitates to call it that.

“I don’t always work,” Isak grumbles. After looking at Jonas, he amends, “Okay, fine, yes, don’t get on my case about it, I’ve already heard that from everyone. Literally, everyone. Like, Sonja wrote me.” Isak places his kebab precariously on his knees – whatever, the jeans are already stained anyway, his laundry upkeeping is abysmal when he’s filming – to pull his phone out of his pocket, thumbing it open to read her message to Jonas. “’Isak, I’m gonna personally make sure that you’re resting or I’ll send Even after you.’ I don’t know what she hopes I’ll get from that. Even isn’t the scariest person I can think of,” Isak snorts.

Jonas snaps his fingers. “That reminds me: What’s going on with you and Even? Spill.”

Isak’s first instinct is to deny that anything is going on, but he’s found out that not talking about it doesn’t make it any less true, so he sighs and says, “I don’t know either.”

“Okay. What _has_ been going on, then?”

When Isak looks at Jonas, he just seems calm, waiting for Isak to continue talking. Maybe that’s what does it. He’s survived coming out at seventeen, he’ll be able to admit to his whatever the fuck it is he has with Even. “We’ve been hooking up for a few years now. Like, only – I don’t know – six or seven times in total, but yeah, that’s been going on.”

Jonas keeps quiet for a bit, takes a bite of his kebab and only answers when Isak throws him an expectant look. “I’ve figured out that much. Or I at least strongly suspected it.”

Isak picks at his kebab. “You did?”

“Mhm. You two are not subtle. I mean, you’re probably subtle for people who don’t know either of you, but trust me, I knew.” Isak groans, putting his head on the backrest.

“So, what’s the deal with you now?” Jonas asks, completely ignoring that Isak is having a mild crisis right next to him. Well, _talking_ about possible crises is Jonas preferred method of going at things. It’s definitely not Isak’s. But, fuck it, he’s trying.

“I think his new film – _Elsewhere_ , have you seen it?” Isak sees Jonas nodding out of the corner of his eye. “Yeah, well, I think it’s about me. Or no, not about me, but about us. It’s – I mean I’m not the only one who thinks that the guy who plays Daniel looks like me at eighteen, right?”

“Yeah, but is that the only reason you think that the film is about you and Even?”

“He took conversations that we had and put them in the film. Not word for word, but close enough. The title alone is a fucking reference to something we’ve talked about once,” Isak tells the ceiling.

Jonas hums. “Did you talk about it? About the film, I mean.”

“No, we didn’t exactly have time. I got sick and then he stayed with me for most of the time, but I mostly slept to be honest.” Isak falls quiet shortly. “He doesn’t normally stay. But after that, we kind of didn’t talk. Like, not about anything important. But then just now, after the scene today, he hugged me? No explanation or anything, he just hugged me and told me I did a good job on that scene. Other than that, I’ve been avoiding him a bit maybe.” Isak squirms in his seat.

“Yeah, I thought so when you always refused to be alone with Even in the last week.”

Isak is silently glad that Jonas only reminds him how observant he is now. It’s easier to forget this about him when Isak isn’t told repeatedly. “Well, it’s awkward, isn’t it?” Isak sighs.

He drags himself upwards again, putting his kebab away to look at Jonas. Who is staring back extremely unimpressed. “Isak, no offence, but that’s stupid.”

“What? No, it’s a completely valid reaction after fucking sobbing all over him for I don’t know how long.”

Jonas’ face makes a complicated motion. “Wait, why did you –“

“No, no, we’re not discussing that, it was already embarrassing enough when it happened. No need to delve into it any further.” Isak shakes his head quickly. Jonas still seems concerned. “Really, I’m fine now, okay? I just got a little stressed and being sick on top of it didn’t help. But it’s fine now.”

“Okay,” Jonas says because he actually trusts Isak when he’s saying something. Isak should probably pay Jonas back in some way after all this is over. He deserves it. “But still, that’s not awkward? Just talk to him, I mean what is it that you want to discuss with him?”

Isak shrugs. “I don’t really know. I’d just like to know where we stand. It’s getting a little annoying to, you know, never talk about the fact that we’ve slept together more than what usually counts as a one-night stand.” There's also this feeling that his insides are rearranging themselves whenever Even's there, fitting better afterwards than ever before. 

Jonas sighs loudly. “You’ve never talked about it at all?”

“Once, okay,” Isak protests. “He said we shouldn’t complicate things with feelings.”

“Isak, how long ago was that?”

“I don’t know, a few years back.” Isak remembers everything to do with it but there are things that Jonas doesn’t need to know.

“And you never bothered to find out if that changed? Like, either of you?”

Isak shrugs. “No, I guess not. We’ve both been busy. We wouldn’t have had time for a relationship or whatever anyways. It was fine.”

Jonas fixes him with a serious look. “Would you want that now? A relationship with him?”

Isak stays quiet. He knows that he hates not being sure of where he stands with Even. He knows that not talking to him for too long feels like he’s missing something. He knows that LA was loud and big and unbearably empty at times, that there was no one to hook up with because the memory of Even was there whenever he closed his eyes. He knows that the pulling inside his chest whenever he sees Even only gets worse when Even insists on being his usual dorky self, that it doesn’t even stop when he makes a stupid, stupid pun and Isak has to pretend hard that the rolling of his eyes is in annoyance and not fondness. He knows that he wants to wake up and find Even there, wants to be allowed to reach out a hand when they’re just casually standing together and tangle their fingers together. Wants Even to be there, next to him, and not fear that he's going to slip through his fingers at any time. 

He also thinks that Jonas shouldn’t be the first person to hear this, so the only thing he says is the one thing that has been true all along, “I want him to stop leaving.”

 

_Let’s talk?_   Isak sends Even an hour later.

**

**[instagram.com/magnus.fossbakken]**

[Photo of Magnus, Jonas, Mahdi and Isak, all sitting around a lunch table, while Magnus is taking a selfie. Isak’s arm is slung over Jonas’ shoulders, Mahdi is grinning broadly into the camera, Magnus is too, while Isak is caught slightly off guard and Jonas is laughing at him]

**magnus.fossbakken:** REUNITED WITH THE SQUAD!!!!

Comments:

**jonasnoah_ vasquez** : we’ve literally been here the whole time the only one who was missing was isak

**magnus.fossbakken** : @jonasnoah_vasquez isak ❤ ❤

**jonasnoah_vasquez** : @magnus.fossbakken he’s alright

**isak_valtersen** : @jonasnoah_vasquez fuck you too

**mahdidisi** : best squad

**[tumblr.com/tagged/isak valtersen]**

[Screenshot of the comments on **magnus.fossbakken** ’s post] tag yourself I’m magnus #their friendship #i didn’t know that I needed this #but oh yes I do #i bet magnus has a tumblr

Good to see that isak is a little shit with his friends as well #my grumpy son #i love him

Ah yes my child magnus coming through with the content we all want to see not the stupid bowl of soup isak posted #i swear he does it on purpose #that asshole #jk I love him with all my heart #if he ever chooses to post something that doesn’t suck I think I’d just die tbh

MAGNUUUUUUS THANK YOU #welcome to the fandom

“isak ❤ ❤” – magnus fossbakken, ancient proverb #i’m sorry I just can’t deal with any of this

Isak bby is back and no longer sick thank fuck #@all the anons who were spreading stuff about him being deadly sick #how does being wrong taste?

I just want to tell everyone that isak just now liked mahdi’s comment he’s a softie at heart #i knew it

Awwwwww isak #<3 #soft smol baby

OMFG EVEN COMMENTED SHIT I CAN’T SCREENSHOT RIGHT NOW BUT SOMEONE GRAB ONE I’M FUCKING DYING HERE #THEM ALL BEING FRIENDS JUST GIVES ME SO MUCH LIFE

[Screenshot of **evenbechnaesheim** commenting on **magnus.fossbakken** ’s post: shouldn’t you be on set? (also: I feel left out)] #OH MY GOD MY TALL SON IS BEING SO STUPID I CANNOT #include him in your photos or he’s gonna cry and I WILL TOO

He feels left out omfg he’s such a big baby how does he direct things that shatter my heart and then manage to be such a dork??? #even hooooow

…am I the only one who thinks this is just a pr stunt?? #no offence but no way that they’re all besties #i don’t buy it #this is too perfect otherwise #they just want to get fandom excited for the movie

FUCK OMFG MAGNUS BLESS HIM SO MUCH #this is the best day of my life

Idgaf if that’s a stunt I’m fucking living for all of their social media interaction #also what kind of half-assed stunt would that be?? #insta photos wow #also we know that Jonas and isak have been friends for years why shouldn’t they be friends with other people on set as well??? #like half the cast has already worked together with each other at some point #eva and isak know each other from that one pilot for that weird series that never got made #so fuck off with your negativity

[Screenshot of **magnus.fossbakken** commenting on **magnus.fossbakken** ’s post: @evenbechnaesheim even ❤ ❤] LOOK AT HIM BEING CUTE #U GH THAT CAST #THE PROMO TOUR WILL KILL ME NEXT YEAR

**

They’ve wrapped up shooting surprisingly on time today and Isak’s only expected on set at ten tomorrow, which means he doesn’t have to get up at half past four. He’s lounging on the couch, his laptop on his knees and a film playing silently in the background when his doorbell rings. 

Groaning, Isak gets up, shuffling to the door. He’s already in sweatpants and an old shirt that he’s had for years now. He thinks it once belonged to Eskild, who gave it to him on that very first movie set that Isak ever stepped on. At first, Isak was reluctant to wear a shirt with Jesus on its front, but when he couldn’t find anything else one day, he’d shrugged it on. Now, he sleeps in it. The Jesus on its front is faded at this point.

Isak doesn’t bother to look through the peephole, simply opens the door and stops dead in his tracks. Even is standing there, leaning against the wall and looking at Isak hesitantly. There’s a slight smile playing on his lips but it seems unsure. Isak can relate.

“Let’s talk?” Even repeats Isak’s text back to him.

Isak breathes in deeply, throws the door open and says, “Come in then.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How could I forget the Jesus shirt?” Even grins, before his face turns softer. “I think I remember most of what we talked about.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your response to the last chapter has left me shook, okay? You're lovely people, thank you so so much <33 I can't even begin to say how much all these comments and kudos and tags mean to me. I hope you like this chapter <3
> 
> The biggest thank you to [Nika](http://itistimeforusalltodecidewhoweare.tumblr.com/) who read the last version of this chapter this afternoon because I'm a mess and generally deals with me being anxious over everything! Thank you, ily <3 All remaining mistakes are mine (and Ao3's because it hates me)

Somehow, they end up in the kitchen. Isak starts rummaging around the cupboards to find something to drink. It’s too late for coffee for both of them: for Isak because it’s too easy for his sleep rhythm to get screwed over by miniscule things like coffee, for Even because Isak knows that he only drinks coffee this late if he has to stay awake to edit something.

“Do you want tea?” he asks Even, procuring two tea bags from a little bowl.

“Since when do you have tea?” Even leans against the fridge watching Isak. It should feel more unnerving than it does.

That’s a good question, actually. Isak frowns at the tea bags in his hand. “Noora must have brought it over. Or Julian. No, it was definitely Noora, Julian lives off coffee and nothing else I think.” Isak shrugs. “Do you want some? I can only offer you apple and cinnamon or Earl Grey, though.”

“Apple and cinnamon. But only if you’ve learned how to boil water by now.”

“Fuck you, that was one time.” Isak fights to keep his face from breaking into a grin.

“You wanted to put the tea bag into a mug with warm tap water in it, Isak. That was a traumatising experience for everyone involved.” Even clutches his chest.

Isak rolls his eyes. “You were the only one there, don’t make this into some big event.”

“It felt like a huge event, though.”

“It often does. With you,” Isak says, his heart in his throat. He’s gripping the tea bags so hard he wouldn’t be surprised if he tore them in half before they ever made it into the water.

Even’s mouth drops open the tiniest bit. “Yeah,” he agrees, his voice more of a breath of air than carrying any sound. Still, it reaches Isak on the other side of the kitchen. Isak thinks that he might always hear what Even has to say to him. The thought settles somewhere near his chest. Isak lets it be for now.

“Tea?” Isak asks because this got heavy way too fast and he still wants to have some semblance of control over the whole situation.

“Right. Tea.” Even nods his head, blinking a few times as if to dispel something. Isak turns around to pull out the kettle and fill in water. It’s silent until Even is standing next to him, opening another cupboard to take out two mugs. He sets them down on the counter with a clang, while Isak puts the kettle on the stove.

It stays quiet between them. Isak breathes in deeply, willing the tension in his body to seep away. “That’ll take a bit,” he says, gesturing towards the kettle. “Wanna sit down?”

It’s weirdly formal now. Isak doesn’t particularly know how that happened, but then again, he doesn’t know how they went like this for so long in general, how _he_ went like this: constantly not looking at Even properly for fear of being knocked over by his own feelings.

Even doesn’t answer, just pulls out a chair at the small kitchen table and sits down. He throws the chair at the corner of the table a meaningful look. “Alright, alright,” Isak smiles despite his nervousness, “I’m coming.”

It’s second nature to place his foot on the bar between the legs of Even’s chair. Even only acknowledges that with a smile. Isak drags his other foot underneath himself, sitting on the chair in a somewhat compressed form. Even, in response to that maybe, stretches out his long legs underneath the table and leans back. Isak allows himself to stare. He’s past denying himself that today.

“You wore this shirt when we first talked,” Even says, his eyes half-closed with the way he’s resting his head in his neck. It can’t be comfortable but Isak isn’t sure that his own position is going to be comfortable for a long time, either, so who is he to judge.

“You remember that?” Isak says, surprised.

“How could I forget the Jesus shirt?” Even grins, before his face turns softer. “I think I remember most of what we talked about.”

“We’ve known each other for six years now. You can’t possibly remember all the things we talked about,” Isak feels compelled to point out. _He_ doesn’t even remember all that they’ve talked about and Isak knows from experience that he remembers far more than he’d like to most of the time.

“I didn’t say all, I said most.”

“That’s still impossible.”

“Isak, you’re ruining the scene.”

“This is not a movie, Even,” Isak says, too forceful. He wants to take back the hard voice that left his mouth, but instead he just falls silent. The idea that this is a movie, that there’s a script that tells them how to act, what to say next makes all of this – _less_. Less like this is Isak’s life, less like Isak’s not acting. Less like this is the truth.

Even is watching him carefully. “No, it’s not, you’re right. I’m sorry.”

Silence settles over them again. “I remember most of it as well,” Isak admits then; some sort of peace offering.

“You do?”

“Yeah. Kind of hard to get rid of the memories.” He refuses to look at Even as he says it, instead rubbing over that one spot on the table that never gets clean.

“It’s not like I ever tried very hard.”

At that, Isak looks up. Even’s face is calm as he returns Isak’s look. Isak thinks that he must be able to read in Isak’s face that he did try. He hopes that he can also read what else is written there: that Isak was never once successful.

“I remember our first conversation,” Isak tells Even.

**

Isak won’t ever admit that he’s a nervous wreck, but right now, he really, really is. It’s his third day on the set of _Melody_ and he’s by far the youngest in the cast. That’s what he gets for signing on for a film about a family’s complicated relationships with each other. This family includes a teenage son. Which would be Isak.

It’s not even that Isak has that many lines or that much to do – he’s mostly in the background of scenes, cut to only to reveal some sort of reaction -, it’s just that Isak knows no one here. Sure, they’re all friendly to him, but they also treat him like the baby, which, technically, he is, but oh god, it doesn’t make his heart beat any more slowly.

Isak misses Eskild. Eskild, who was on that TV show that was supposed to be the next big thing and wasn’t – and, yeah, that still smarts – and happily chatted to Isak every morning in the make-up trailer. Who dragged Isak out with him and the rest of the crew in the evenings and made sure that Isak had fun as well. Eskild, who is now saved in Isak’s phone under “Guru” because that’s Eskild’s kind of humour. Eskild, whose weird Jesus shirt Isak is currently wearing on his way to a make-up trailer that is sadly not inhabited by a 23-year-old guy who plays Beyoncé way too loudly in the mornings to wake everyone up.

Isak is painfully ripped away from his thoughts when he collides with someone else. He stumbles backwards, already seeing himself falling and never living down the shame, when the other person’s hand whips out and grabs his arm to pull him upright.

“Fuck, sorry,” Isak says, finding his footing again and looking up. It’s a near thing that he doesn’t fall backwards again. He’s occasionally seen the guy standing in front of him the last couple days, but only ever from afar when the guy was running around the set, taking orders from someone else and always smiling at everyone. Isak doesn’t know what his actual job is but he does know that the guy is very, very handsome.

His hair is styled into a quiff, he has sunglasses tucked into his jacket pocket even though the sky is cloudy, and his plaid shirt is way too long, but looks good either way. He’s also ridiculously tall. It’s one of the first times that Isak has felt small since his growth spurt.

“Hi,” the guy beams at him and it’s only then that Isak realises that the guy’s hand is still on Isak’s arm. The guy seems to notice at the same time, drawing it back and shaking it a little so that the leather bracelet slung around his wrist slides further down his arm. “You’re Isak, right?”

“Erm, yeah.” Isak nods, still a little speechless.

“I’m Even. I’m the assistant director’s assistant. Sorry for nearly running you over.”

“No, it’s fine, I didn’t look.” Isak puts his hands into the pockets of his windbreaker, accidentally drawing Even’s attention to its open front.

“Cool shirt,” Even grins and Isak is reminded of the fact that he’s wearing a shirt with Jesus on the front. Why.

“It’s – a friend gave it to me.”

“Your friend has great taste,” Even grins, but instead of sounding mocking, it sounds genuine.

Isak shrugs. “It’s mostly comfortable. It’s like, really soft.” What the fuck is this conversation? Isak would like the earth to swallow him now, please, but then again, he’d also like to keep talking to Even for – well, at least for longer.

“Really? Can I touch it?” Even’s hands are already reaching out for the hem of Isak’s shirt. Isak swallows. “Yeah, erm, sure.” Even’s fingers make contact with Isak’s shirt and through that layer they brush against Isak’s stomach briefly. Isak forgets to breathe for a second.

“Whoa, that really is soft.”

Isak just nods dumbly. What is he supposed to answer to that? This topic of conversation was exhausted about three minutes ago. “Isak, I sadly have to leave you because while that shirt is amazing, I’m pretty sure it’s not your wardrobe.”

“Fuck, yeah. I’m probably late for make-up,” Isak groans.

“No problem. Tell them it’s my fault, they love me.” Even does something that’s probably supposed to be some sort of wink. It looks more like a bad imitation of someone who doesn’t know how to wink at all. It shouldn’t be endearing.

“What should I tell them? That you kidnapped me?” Isak asks because if Even can’t wink properly and thinks t-shirts make for a good conversation, Isak can maybe start behaving like a normal human being again. Which means being sarcastic.

“Perfect idea. Can’t let you lie to them, though, so I’ll have to actually kidnap you, you know? I’ll come find you at lunch. See you then,” Even grins, before walking away with a wave.

Isak stares after him, dumbstruck. He has no idea what just happened, but he thinks he might be on his way to get to know someone on set.

**

“That was one of the stupidest conversations I ever had,” Isak smiles.

“Excuse me, that was an extremely important conversation. I’ve never touched another shirt as soft as this one.” Even points to Isak’s shirt, before crossing his arms. “Plus, we’ve had way stupider conversations later on.”

“That’s sadly true.” Isak fakes a sigh, for which Even tries to kick him. It doesn’t work because Isak still has one foot underneath him and the other hooked around Even’s chair. Even actually pouts for a second. “You’re a big baby,” Isak says, moving to get the kettle. 

“Can I ask you something else?” Even asks when Isak’s back is turned to him. Isak nods, pouring water into the two cups Even has left out. “What else do you remember?”

Isak concentrates too hard on not spilling anything, putting the kettle back and letting the tea bags fall into the water before he finally answers, “You have to be more specific. I’m not going to go over everything I remember with you. You’ve been there, too.”

Even laughs quietly behind him. It makes it easier to carry the mugs back to the table and sit down again. Even takes his cup from Isak, wrapping his fingers around it and absentmindedly blowing on it. “Maybe the better question is what memory comes to your mind first right now? When you think about – well, about us, I guess.”

Isak doesn’t have to think about that. “Rome,” he says instantly.

“Rome?”

“Mhm.”

“But wasn’t that –“

**

Rome is awkward. Awkward in the way that celebrating the end of a promo tour by flying out to Rome with some of the cast – Jonas is a bad influence, not to talk about Yousef and the others – only to find that someone has invited Even is awkward.

It’s not that Isak and Even are currently on bad terms or anything. It’s more that a journalist asked Isak completely out of the blue whether he liked Even’s first film and Isak laughed about it and said, “Well, it could be a lot worse”. Before he’d had time to add that he was obviously joking, the microphone had wandered to someone else in the press room. And now, half of Norway thinks Isak hates Even’s movie when that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Isak texted Even immediately when Noora sent him the articles with a “Isak, please start thinking before you answer a question”. And Even replied with a _I’ve been crying non-stop, Isak. This is how you pay me back :(((((._ Isak took the frankly bewildering number of smileys to mean that Even was fine.

Alright, so maybe that’s not why it’s awkward right now. It might be awkward because Isak somehow got into this whole mess in the first place because of what happened just before the promo tour. The night before the fucking press conference that now has everyone thinking that Isak can’t stand Even.

It turns out that sleeping with Even for the second time before leaving to go on a press tour is a bit of a stupid idea. Mostly because Isak is still thinking about their night and the conversation that had followed it at the press conference. He can’t stop hearing Even’s voice in his head, telling him that they shouldn’t complicate what they have with feelings (he ignores the voice that sounds suspiciously like himself agreeing with Even). This leads to him nearly dying of a heart attack when the question about Even’s film is thrown his way. It also leads to him making a sarcastic comment because for a moment he thinks he’s been found out.

Now, though, with all of them in Rome, including Even because Yousef is an asshole who invited him along, never mind the fact that he has nothing to do with the _Balloons Balloons_ film, it’s awkward because Isak can’t bring himself to talk to Even. He can’t bring himself to do _anything_ involving Even because the memory of him in Isak’s bed is still too prominent. The last time this happened, it couldn’t get awkward between them because Even was at breakfast, talking to him and making Isak doubt that anything had changed at all. This time, though, Even had left and Isak left right after for the promo tour and now they’ve only been texting sporadically. So, yeah, Isak is avoiding Even.

That’s not a problem when they all go out to eat something and Isak manages to sit as far away from Even as possible. It’s also not a problem when they go to a club, laughing and drinking. It is a definitive problem when they go back to the hotel, just for Even to grab Isak’s hand and say, “Come on, I have to show you something.”

Isak should say no, but he’s pleasantly buzzed and, more importantly, he really doesn’t _want_ to say no. He can’t keep avoiding Even forever, it’s better to get used to his proximity again, so he follows Even up the stairs of the hotel they’re staying in.

“Even, why are we doing sports? It’s too late for that. All the pizza and ice cream in my stomach is not agreeing with sports,” Isak whines, letting himself be dragged up five flights of stairs nonetheless.

“Not my fault that you chose a hotel without a lift. But it’ll be worth it, I promise.”

True to his word, Even pushes open a door at the top of the stairs, holding it so that Isak can walk through. Isak is expecting the roof top but what he finds instead is an indoor swimming pool, looking out over the city.

“Whoa,” he breathes and then, because his brain can’t ever let him have nice things, “How does this hotel not have a functioning lift but a fucking indoor swimming pool with a view over the whole city? I need to like, shower Yousef with gratitude for choosing such a cool place.”

Behind him, Even sighs loudly. “Why does Yousef get all the gratitude? I showed you the pool.”

Isak turns around, squinting against the harsh lights in the ceiling to take Even in. “Why did you show me this?”

Even shrugs, only answering, “Fancy a swim? Or are you scared of the water?”

“Me? Scared? You wish!” Isak toes off his shoes, contemplating whether he should take off his clothes as well because technically it’s not as if Even hasn’t seen him naked before, when Even interrupts his train of thought by throwing him into the pool. Isak lets out an undignified squeak but manages to drag Even in with him.

Isak surfaces, sputtering and pushing his hair out of his face. “What the fuck was that?”

Even shrugs, grinning widely at him. “That was me breaking the ice. But we’re in Rome and it’s summer and there’s just no way that I could’ve gotten actual ice, so water had to make due.”

Isak stares at him, mouth open and nearly swallowing water when he dips too low. “You’re so fucking stupid, oh my god.” He’s grinning helplessly at Even.

“But it worked, didn’t it?”

Isak doesn’t deign this with an answer. Instead, he keeps on grinning at Even and says, “Race me.” He swims off, Even protesting behind him that it’s not fair because Isak has a head start.

Isak loses anyway because laughing while swimming means swallowing gross pool water. It’s so worth it.

**

“Oh,” Even says, “yeah, true, that part wasn’t awkward.”

“No,” Isak smiles, drinking the last of his tea. “Wanna move this somewhere more comfortable?” When Even stares at him, Isak widens his eyes. “No, I mean, the couch – like, we should go to the living room, I think my ass is falling asleep on these chairs otherwise.”

“We can’t have that.” Even nods seriously, getting up and walking into the living room. Isak is struck by the thought that Even doesn’t feel like a guest here, but more like he’s living here as well. It feels bigger than anything they’ve discussed so far. Isak busies himself with turning off the TV that has been running the whole time apparently.

When they sit down on opposite places on the couch, Isak pulls his knees towards his chest, wrapping his arms around them, while Even hugs a pillow close to him. For a while, it’s quiet again: Isak looking at Even, taking him in, the way his eyes are gliding over the room as if he’s seeing it for the first time, before settling on Isak. Something fond blooms in Isak’s chest.

There are a lot of things that they need to talk about probably, but there’s one that Isak can’t put off any longer. “You wrote a film about us,” he says into the silence, letting the words hang in the air between them. At some point, Isak thought that he would sound accusing or that he should sound honoured. Now, it just sounds like a statement. Isak’s waiting for Even to pluck it out of the air and do something with it.

“Yeah. Sonja was pissed,” Even says, curling up against the backrest.

“Sonja?” Out of all the things that Even could have said, none would have floored Isak like this.

Even nods. “She said that it was an asshole thing to do. Shooting a film about us and not telling you beforehand. She threatened to take back her song for _Romeo and Juliet_ if _Elsewhere_ hurt you in any way.”

“Oh.” Isak stares at his knees.

“Did it hurt you?” Even asks, his voice low, and when Isak looks up his eyes seem pained. Isak wants to never see that look on his face again, but he also doesn’t want to lie.

“Not hurt. It just – it was a lot. I saw the first minute in an interview,” Isak laughs humourlessly.

“I know. I saw that. I never wanted you to watch it like this. I just, I don’t know. I got carried away I think.” Even closes his eyes, giving Isak time to watch him some more. His brows are furrowed and Isak wants to reach out and smooth the skin out again. He keeps his hands to himself, asking instead, “Why did you write it?”

“When I first wrote it, I never intended for it to ever be shot. It was just – well, I guess other people write journals. I wrote a script. I kept changing details and editing it, and at some point I looked at it and thought that this might make a good film. No, actually I thought that it would make a great film. And then I played with the idea of putting it together with the rest of the short film cycle films because it just fit. I liked the idea of the cycle having four films where the second and the fourth would be about a couple. I like the way these episodes mirror each other.” Even opens his eyes to look at Isak.

“So, you wrote it only because you thought it’d be nice addition to your cycle?” Isak’s surprised that his voice is so calm. Maybe it’s because he can’t believe that himself.

“No!” Even sits up straighter, reaching for Isak before dropping his hands in his own lap instead. “I wrote it because I wanted some version of us to get it right.”

“You don’t even like the idea of parallel universes,” Isak says slowly, swallowing harshly. His heart is pounding steadily in his chest.

Even lays his head back against the backrest, watching Isak carefully. “But you do.”

Isak does. Likes the infinity of the universe, the idea that the tiniest things could have an effect on the way his life turns out somewhere else. The quiet knowledge that if something doesn’t work out in this universe, it will in another one. That somewhere out there, things happened differently but Isak is still there, still living his life infinitely. It doesn’t necessarily make him feel small or alone – all things Even associates with the multiverse theory, he told Isak once. It mostly makes him interested in what could connect him to those other Isaks. What they have in common despite their different circumstances. What stays the same throughout all the universes.

So, Even put them in another universe: their story, their lives, their experiences. “There’s one scene that I keep coming back to,” Isak starts, not sure what to say otherwise. Even nods, motioning for him to go on. “There are scenes that I know happened in some way or other in real life. Like the pool scene or them smoking weed, but there’s this scene where Ida asks Daniel if he knows that Sander loves him. And when it turns out that Daniel doesn’t know, she’s surprised.”

“Yeah,” Even says.

“Ida represents Sonja, right?”

“Well, it’s not strictly that autobiographical –“

“Even, don’t. I’m not an interviewer, I don’t care for the bullshit.” In fact, Isak is tired of everything to do with the bullshit, including Even trying to talk his way out of a question. He’s seen enough of Even’s interviews to know that he’s an expert at that if he truly doesn’t want to answer.

“Sorry,” Even says, “force of habit. Yes, Ida is based on Sonja.”

“And judging from the fact that Daniel looks like me when I was eighteen, I’m guessing he’s based on me.”

“Yes.”

“Okay, so what I’m wondering is that, for all that this movie is apparently very autobiographical, you included a scene that not only never happened like that but that you also only know of because Sonja and I told you. You weren’t there when we got drunk, you have no idea what we discussed or not. So, why did you include a similar scene to the one that did happen? What’s the point?”

If Even is surprised by the question, he doesn’t show it. “Isak, did you ever stop to think about what Ida tells Daniel here?”

Isak snorts. That is the reason he remembers the scene with all its details. “That she thinks that Sander loves him? But what kind of bullshit is that in this verse? Sander has literally just split from Ida at this point, he’s made out with Daniel for like four days and then he fucking disappeared. He can’t be in love with Daniel, there’s just no way.” Isak is breathing too fast by the time his rant is finished. He sets one foot down on the floor, clutching at his own sweatpants.

“He _is_ in love with him, though,” Even says.

“How? How would you know, Sander isn’t you, he’s probably the most not-you character in the whole film. He’s this mysterious guy that Daniel sees across the school yard. You’ve never been mysterious in all your life – or at least, not with _me_. You hadn’t just split from Sonja when we – when we happened – and you certainly never disappeared for four days afterwards without talking to me. So, how would you know?” Isak is holding onto the backrest for dear life. Whatever Even’s going to say next, Isak fears that it has the power to either make or break him. It’s a heady feeling.

“Isak, Sander isn’t me, the same way Ida isn’t Sonja – no, wait, just give me a minute, please? – the same way that you aren’t Daniel. Yes, I took inspiration from our lives and that might have been dumb and hurtful and if it was I will apologise properly for it, but for now: Sander isn’t me, you’re right. None of these characters are us. That’s not a bullshit answer, I promise.” Even rakes a hand through his hair, his gaze never breaking away from Isak.

“I gave them aspects of our relationships because I couldn’t – well, we weren’t talking about any of it and I know, I remember that I said something about not catching any feelings in the beginning of it, but I wanted _someone_ to talk about it. And if it wasn’t going to be us - because I don’t know if you noticed but I’m not brave at all when it comes to you - then it was going to be some other version of us. A fabricated, unreal version because I kept on hoping that the real version would get their shit together enough to actually talk.” Even’s eyes are shining by the end and he’s moved onto his knees, closer to Isak than before.

Isak stares at him. Drinks him in and in and in, because this is not what he expected, not at all. His head feels too heavy with all the new information, his fingers stiff where they’re clenching into the couch and his sweats. His heart is racing away from him, bumping painfully against his ribcage. There’s one sentence swirling around in his mind, gaining speed until Isak sets it free, “But you kept leaving.”

Even worries his lip between his teeth, before saying. “Yeah. The first time, I left because I thought it would get awkward otherwise and I really, really didn’t want us to not be friends. There’s literally nothing I want less.” He fixes Isak with an urgent look.

Isak nods slowly. “Me neither.”

Even slumps down a little again, resting his weight on his heels. “The other times it was just cowardly, I guess. If I left first, I wouldn’t have to see you leave and I don’t know if you remember it, but, Isak, you were always leaving, too.”

Isak raises his eyebrows. “I was leaving? But I always woke up without you. Every single time.” He doesn’t mean to insist on that quite so much, but his tongue is quicker than his brain.

Even smiles sadly at him. “With the exception of that first time, we only slept together when you had to be somewhere else the next day. The night before your promo tour; your old apartment when you started a shoot the day after; before you left for a holiday with your friends; after a stupid awards show, where you only had a day in-between that and another project; before you left for _Lazarus_ ; before you left for LA. You were always just passing through when we slept together.”

Isak feels the impact of these words like a freight train crashing into him. The hit spreads from his chest to his fingertips, running over his skin and leaving cool air behind. He leans against the couch heavily. He remembers every instance, he remembers finding an empty bed, packing his bags and going somewhere else every time. He remembers it so well that he doesn’t know how he couldn’t have understood this sooner, how he could have managed to put this one thing out of his mind when everything else had the horrible habit of sticking there forever.

Even continues quietly, “I didn’t want to be there to see you go. I didn’t want to stay for that, for you to have enough time to figure out that maybe you thought that this had been a mistake.”

Isak gathers enough air to say, “It wasn’t. I wouldn’t have thought that.”

Even shrugs a tiny bit. “I wasn’t sure. You were always busy and I had no idea whether I was projecting something more onto you or not. I just – I didn’t want to risk it. Not when it could potentially fuck up more than it would do good.”

Swallowing hard, Isak says, “I’ve never thought about it that way. Not ever. I’m – I should have, right? I should have realised that sooner. That I was leaving each time, too.” 

“So, we’re both idiots.” Isak can practically hear the quiet acceptance in Even’s voice.

“What made you change your mind? What made you – you risked it in the end. Why?”

Even breathes out long and hard, his eyes flitting around the room, before focusing on Isak once more. “I didn’t want to continue like this. I thought of _Elsewhere_ and realised that if I let the characters in there work for their happy end, take risks and do something, then I should at least try. But I mean, I didn’t work really hard at it” – he pulls a face – “I asked you once if we should talk and you didn’t respond – no, no, I’m not holding that over your head, you were perfectly within your rights to not say anything, are you kidding me – and then I guess I went back to waiting for you to do something. I said that I wasn’t brave when it came to you.” Even’s eyebrows draw together unhappily.

From where Isak has his head on the backrest, he looks at Even from a slightly slanted angle. Even’s sagged against the couch, too. “You weren’t a coward,” Isak says then, continuing when Even opens his mouth, “No, you said that you’re not brave when it comes to this. But - if you’re not, then I’m not either. I certainly wasn’t saying anything about all this.”

Even sighs. “I did say that thing how we should better not discuss what exactly it was that we were doing, though. That we didn’t need any feelings on top of it. Which might be amongst the stupidest things I’ve ever said. I’d love to take it back because, honestly, it was mostly born out of me being not brave and – I guess – protecting myself in some way. I’m sorry.” Even closes his eyes momentarily just to open them again and shoot Isak a hesitant look.  

Isak shakes his head quickly. “No, but I _agreed_ , Even. It’s not fair to ask you to be brave when I didn’t do anything either. And I mean, you were brave. You wrote the film. And to be honest, I’m still not sure how I feel about that, but it was – it changed something, it made us – or me – think about this thing, about us and – it was brave.” Even is staring at him, quick breaths letting his chest fall and rise. Isak gives him a lopsided smile.

It’s true, Isak still doesn’t know how he feels about the film. The fact that it has so many parts of them, but that it’s also _not_ them in all the ways that count. The fact that Isak doubts that many people other than Even and him get the extent to which it’s personal for them, but that it still feels like a little bit of him is out there without him being able to control it. The fact that Isak quietly likes the feeling of being that important to Even, but doesn’t know how to deal with everything else yet.

It’s okay for now, he thinks. For the first time, he’s confident that they’ll figure it out.

Isak arranges his thoughts in his head now that they’re no longer tumbling all over each other, racing to be the first to be vocalised. Something has calmed down within him, has stopped fighting quite so hard, but the pulling feeling is still there when he looks at Even. Has only gotten worse. And maybe, Isak finally knows what it is.

“I think for all that it sucked sometimes, it’s good the way it was,” he says.

Even’s eyes widen. “The not talking about anything?”

“What? No, no, not that.” Isak grimaces. “Let’s maybe not do that again, okay?”

“That’d be nice,” Even smiles carefully. “But what did you mean?”

“I don’t think it would’ve been good to have a relationship the past years. Like, one that was something more than what we did – or do – have. I just, I don’t think I’d have made time for it. Not the way it deserved.” Isak shrugs, playing with a loose string on the couch. “I think I’ve been living mostly for my job the last few years and that’s fine” – he looks up to find Even’s worried gaze on him – “and also a conversation for another time, but it wouldn’t have been fair on you. On both of us, actually.”

“No?”

Isak shakes his head, smiling mirthlessly. “No. I didn’t even realise that I was always between two places until a few weeks ago and I definitely didn’t realise that I was leaving so often. And, the thing is, if you’d told me this a year ago, I would’ve probably denied it. There was just always somewhere else to be, somewhere more important.” Isak shoots Even an apologetic smile, who just smiles back.

“That’s not fair on anyone. It wouldn’t have been fair on you to wait and it wouldn’t have been fair for me to feel like shit for leaving you behind. It wouldn’t have been a good relationship.”

“And now?” Even asks.

Isak sits up. His heart is picking up speed. After all these truths, this one still feels like the hardest to voice. But if Even could risk it, then Isak can be brave, too. “Now, we could maybe try that? A relationship, I mean. If that’s something you’d be interested in,” Isak stumbles over the words. His hands are clammy where they once were cold, but hope is lining his insides like liquid. It burns hot throughout his body. There’s a lot they still need to talk about, but it’s enough to wait on Even’s answer for now.

There’s a slow smile spreading across Even’s lips. Isak watches him, mesmerised. “You asked me why I knew that Sander was in love with Daniel,” he says, which is not an answer at all but makes Isak’s breath hitch nonetheless.

“Yeah?”

“Let’s say that this was one of the aspects that I lifted straight from myself to put into Sander,” Even admits, smile still playing on his lips and Isak shuffles forward, so that his knee is knocking against Even’s.

Isak’s heart is caught between his teeth, but he thinks that if he were to give it to Even now he wouldn’t regret it. It’s too early for admissions like that, though, and Isak doesn’t have a character like Sander in whose mouth he can put the words that are beating beneath his chest, pulling at him ever so slightly, so he only whispers, “You can’t say stuff like that and not expect me to kiss you.” He’s so close to Even that if he looks at him for too long he sees double.

Even cups his hands over Isak’s face gently. “Good,” he says and then he leans in to kiss Isak. It’s by far not their first kiss, it’s not even their second or third, but it’s the first that feels like this: Like Isak’s drowning, but Even’s sharing his breath with him, keeping him afloat on the waves. Like they’re clutching at each other too hard, but without fearing that they’ll break the other person. Like the place where their lips are touching is incandescent.

Isak moves into Even’s lap, lazily kissing him, one hand in Even’s hair and the other curled into his shirt. They’ve sat like this before, but never with this much time on their hands. It was urgent and desperate before, all clashing mouths and tugging hands, just to get as much of the other as possible before he left again. Now, though, it’s slow and calm, Isak resting easily on Even’s legs, moving his arms around his neck to hold him close. If Even wanted, he could break the hold easily, Isak is aware. Instead, Even settles his own hands on Isak’s hips, drawing him closer still.

Isak doesn’t know what time it is when they finally disentangle themselves from each other, but he’s fairly sure that it’s too late for whatever time he does have to get up tomorrow, not to mention whenever Even has to wake up.

It still feels a bit like walking out onto the edge of the ten-metre board in a public swimming pool when he asks, “Will you stay?”

Even’s answering smile is blinding. “I’d love to.”

They get ready for bed quietly, always somehow touching each other: Isak’s fingers bump into Even’s when he gives him a spare toothbrush. Even presses a kiss to his cheek when Isak is still brushing his teeth and he’s already finished. Isak puts his hand on Even’s back when he has to go around him to search for a sleepshirt for him. It’s quiet and unassuming and this time, there are no words hanging in the silence going unsaid.

They end up in bed and Isak gives Even his better pillow, before using Even’s chest as his own pillow. Even’s hand is in his hair, stroking through it and Isak could fall asleep like this, will probably fall asleep like this, but first he stretches up onto his elbow again. Even watches him expectantly.

“I’m not leaving tomorrow,” Isak says. “I’m going to see you on your set and I’ll probably annoy you at lunch and you’re not getting rid of me.” Not this time. Not when Isak can finally go to sleep without worrying about the next morning, without feeling like he’s walking on a tightrope.

Even breaks into surprised laughter. “That’s good because I have no intention of trying to get rid of you. I’ll be there. I promise.” He frowns unhappily at Isak then. “I have to get up earlier than you, though, because my producers will fire me otherwise, but I’ll leave you a note, okay?”

“No, wake me up before you go.”

“Wake you up? Isak, is that really you?” Even teases, but his eyes are soft and fond and Isak fights the blush spreading on his cheeks. He never wants to stop looking at Even.

“Shut up,” he mumbles, kissing him.

It’s not a movie kiss, because Isak knocks his nose against Even’s too hard, so that they end up giggling into the kiss. But this is not a movie any longer, of that Isak is dead sure. This is real life, this is not Sander or Daniel or any other version that might exist of them somewhere else in the universe.

This is them.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even's eyes are bright and there’s a smile playing on his lips again. Isak wants to kiss it off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always your response to this fic overwhelms me and makes me very, very happy!!! I don't have enough words to thank you <333 Idk if Ao3 will actually manage to tell you how many chapters are still missing, but if not: After this chapter, we're only missing an epilogue (which will have a similar length to this chapter, a bit longer) and then that's it with this fic! But not with this universe because I'm attached to it. 
> 
> Thank you again to [Nika](http://itistimeforusalltodecidewhoweare.tumblr.com/) who actually proposed the scene with which this whole AU started and this scene is finally in this chapter! Thank you for always looking over my stuff <3 All remaining mistakes are mine.

“You look happy,” Jonas greets him as soon as Isak walks on set.

“Of course, I’m always happy. I’m literally a beacon of light in your life,” Isak retorts easily, taking a sip from his coffee. He makes a face immediately afterwards: lukewarm coffee should be forbidden.

Jonas rolls his eyes, clapping him on the shoulder. “You’re so not.” Then, he drops his voice to a whisper that Isak can’t concentrate on because he spots Even. He’s standing behind the camera, pointing to something on the screen before turning back to Magnus and Mahdi, gesturing at them instead. It should not be as captivating as it is.

“Dude, you’re staring,” Jonas says in a normal voice and Isak’s head whips around to him.

“What? No!”

“The only thing missing is your mouth dropping open.”

Isak bumps hard into Jonas’ shoulder. “Shut up.”

“So, I guess he’s the reason why you’re not moping around anymore.”

At this point, Isak catches Even’s eyes. He’s too far away to greet him with words, so Isak just grins. The smile that he receives in return is blinding, its light carrying all the way across to Isak. The hazy memory of Even waking him up with a kiss and mumbling, “I’m going now, but I’ll see you in a few hours” makes its way to the forefront of Isak’s mind again.

“Yeah,” Isak absentmindedly answers Jonas. Even is waving at him. Isak refuses to wave back. He hopes his eye rolling can be seen across the room.

“So, you both finally got your head out of your asses and talked?”

Isak tears his gaze away from Even to nod at Jonas. Jonas simply smiles at him. “That’s good.”

Isak can’t help the smile that spreads over his own face. “Yeah, it is. It really is.”

“I’m glad,” Jonas says.

“Me too.” Isak is overwhelmed by the sudden love that he feels for Jonas. He should probably get Jonas a gift basket or something for dealing with him all the time. Forget that, he’ll invite Jonas over for alcohol and weed after filming’s over. That’s more Jonas’ style.

“Isaaaaak,” someone suddenly shouts. “Come and rescue us!” Magnus has his hands formed around his mouth like a megaphone, while Mahdi is facepalming next to him. Even just looks amused.

Isak snorts, before picking up speed and going over to them. “What? Is Even being annoying?”

“Excuse me,” Even says, but Magnus completely ignores that.

“No, Even could never be annoying,” Magnus says. “He’s just the bearer of incredibly sad news.”

“Sad news?” Jonas asks, catching up to Isak.

Magnus nods furiously. “Apparently, this is the last week of filming.”

At this point, Mahdi cuts in, “Man, how could you not have realised that earlier? You have a schedule and everything.”

Magnus looks affronted, throwing his arms in the air. “Those things are endlessly confusing. Anyway, sorry that I value your company I guess.”

“Aww, Mags, we’ll definitely still hang out after the filming is done,” Even grins, putting an arm around Magnus’ shoulder. Isak pretends like he’s not dying to have Even’s arm around his shoulder, too. It doesn’t go well, judging from the way Even raises one eyebrow at him amusedly. Isak turns his attention back to Magnus, who is already smiling again, “See? This is why Even could never be annoying.”

“I swear your crush on Even is getting out of hand,” Mahdi grins. Jonas nods at that and Even laughs out loud. Isak scowls a little to himself.

“It’s okay, there’s enough love for everyone,” Even smiles, before finally taking his arm off Magnus’s shoulder and stepping closer to Isak.

The others start talking amongst themselves, something about what they’ll do at the wrap party and that they’ll need to get Magnus laid, when Even ducks his head towards Isak and asks, “Sleep well?”

“I don’t know. I think a huge dog or something woke me up really early,” he says, forcing his face to stop grinning.

“A huge dog? That must be the best way to be woken up, though.” Even is so close that his fingers are brushing over Isak’s side whenever he shifts a little. Isak’s skin is burning underneath his costume.

“Not really, no. He just licked all over my face.”

“Licked?” Even raises his eyebrows comically high. Isak fights to keep his hands to himself. It’s a losing battle. “He didn’t lick your face, he put very cute little kisses all over it.”

“Maybe,” Isak allows, finally grinning at Even.

“Since when do you have a dog?” Magnus asks in that moment and Isak drops his face in his hands, groaning. Even just laughs for at least five minutes because he’s not helpful at all.

Isak still can’t imagine anyone better than him.

Not even when a few hours later, Even annoys him with his perfectionism.

“Isak, can you do it – differently?” Even asks and Isak swallows a sigh.

They’ve been going over the same scene ten times now and Even is not happy with _something_. Isak doesn’t know what exactly because Even doesn’t seem to know either.

“Even, no offence, but I have no idea what you want from me,” Isak says, smiling at him a little to let him know that while he’s not overly happy with doing the same scene for another twenty takes without knowing how to improve it, he’s also not angry with Even. Eva, who’s standing next to Isak, pats his shoulder. “He’s just stressed because it’s so close to the end,” she whispers as Even walks toward them.

“I know,” Isak sighs. Then, Even turns up in front of them, his brows furrowed and looking between them.

“I don’t know what’s bothering me,” he announces which is at least something.

“We got that much,” Eva grins.

“Sorry, I just – okay, can you do it again? I’ll figure out what I want, I promise.” He sounds apologetic but also frustrated, so Isak just steps closer to Eva, ignoring that Even is only a metre away and starts his dialogue again.

Romeo is meeting Juliet for only the third time here, but it’s the first time in her room, the first time looking at her without anyone else looking at them, and Isak has been playing him as slightly overwhelmed but giddy at the prospect of having Juliet alone. Eva as Juliet is stroking over his cheek, they’re getting close to each other before breaking apart seconds before their lips would touch. Later a sound effect of someone knocking will be added, Even informed them. 

“Okay, hm. Eva, would you mind?” Even says, taking up Eva’s position. Eva just shakes her head, stepping away a bit.

“What are you doing?” Isak eyes Even warily.

“I’m the new Juliet for a second,” Even grins at him.

“What.” Isak is staring at Even openly now and he thinks he hears Eva laughing at him, but he can’t be sure because only Even exists in front of him right now.

“I honestly don’t know what I don’t like, so I’ll try it like this. What, can’t you imagine me as Juliet?” Even strikes a pose that has Eva laughing loudly now and the half of the set that's still paying attention chiming in. Isak hates him so much.

“How is that supposed to help you in any way?” Isak crosses his arms in front of his chest to hide his rapidly climbing heartbeat.

“Not sure yet. Let’s try it, okay?” Even’s voice turns softer, a questioning look in his eyes, and Isak sighs.

“Fine.”

Even is not an actor. Isak can see the way he’s not focusing on being Juliet, but rather trying to work out what he feels is wrong with the scene. It’s there in the way he cocks his head in just his own way, no hint of another person being present, the way he once looks over Isak’s shoulder as if to frame a shot. He’s not an actor, but this different version of Juliet standing here makes Isak reconsider his approach to Romeo in this scene. As he watches Even work out the details, think about the scene while delivering dialogue that wasn’t his to begin with and will never sound like it’s him, Isak’s Romeo grows softer. He loses some of the giddiness, instead revelling in being in Juliet’s company, watching her figure everything out.

When Even cups his cheek with one hand, Isak lets Romeo shudder slightly. It’s like Romeo’s finding a new sense of fragility, scared of breaking what’s between them. He leans closer and closer to Even, absentmindedly thinking about the fact that if they were to kiss right now, it wouldn’t be Romeo kissing Even, but only Isak; only ever Isak. He expects Even to pull away, to clap his hands and say, “Nope, that’s still not it, let’s try something else.”

What he doesn’t expect is Even brushing his lips against Isak’s. Just for a split second. The smallest noise escapes Isak. It’s over again as soon as it’s begun, Even’s lips distancing themselves, and when Isak looks up at him he knows that he’s blushing.

“Like that,” Even says, coughing once and raking a hand through his hair. So, that wasn’t planned on his behalf either. In fact, Even seems nervous now, unsure, and Isak hates it.

“Like that,” Isak repeats, nodding and smiling. Even's answering smile is brief but relieved. The urge to take Even’s hand and just drag him home with him hits him hard. He breathes in deeply. It’s only a couple more hours before they can do exactly that. He shoots a quick glance at the crew standing around. Apart from a few of them grinning at him, the rest seems completely uninterested, on their phones or fiddling with equipment.

“Does Jonas already know that you two happened or can I be the one to tell him?” Eva interrupts.

For once, Even is the one who is floundering. “Erm, I don’t know if –“

Isak sighs loudly, putting the feeling of wanting to hold Even close to him and never let him go in a box for safekeeping. This time, he doesn’t plan on never opening it again. “He knows, please don’t give him any more ammunition.”

“And you didn’t share with me?” Eva whines. “That’s unfair.”

“I did? Just now?” Isak ignores the way his cheeks are burning.

“Yeah, by kissing Even!”

“So?”

“Ugh, whatever,” Eva says.

“Okay,” Even buts in again, “let’s do this scene and then we’re finished and everyone can go home for today.” His eyes are bright and there’s a smile playing on his lips again. Isak wants to kiss it off. That wish becomes impossible to fulfil, though, as Even walks back to his chair and Eva steps towards Isak again.

“You and Even are cute,” she whispers conspiratorially to Isak. “I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks,” Isak smiles, still looking at where Even’s plopping himself down into his chair.

“It’s also only slightly disgusting how in love you’re looking right now,” she adds because of course she does.

“Eva, the next time I have to kiss you on camera, I’ll bite you if you keep talking.”

“Kinky,” she grins, waggling her eyebrows.

“Oh god.” Isak stares at the ceiling until Eva wraps him in a short hug.

“Don’t be such a baby, I’m truly happy for you.”

“Thank you,” he repeats, softer than before.

“Everyone ready?” Even’s voice calls and they step apart again. “Action!”

This time, Romeo is in awe of every little thing Juliet does. They don’t need another take.

 

“Do you want to stay over?” Isak asks, the _again_ going unmentioned.

“If you want me to.”

“I wouldn’t ask otherwise.” There’s a short pause in which Isak debates whether or not he should say the next thing. In the end, he does. Kind of. “I like sharing a bed with you. It’s … nice.”

Even snorts. “Nice? That’s all?”

It makes Isak feel safe, but there is no way he’s admitting this right now. “It’s all you’re getting,” he grins. They’re alone in the studio, so Isak draws Even closer by the strings of his hoodie.

“Well, then I guess I’ll better take it,” Even mumbles against his lips.

“You should,” Isak whispers before capturing his lips in a kiss.

 

The next days are stressful.

There’s a wrap every day for some actor or other. There’s a lot of hugging and laughing and promising to see each other at the cast party at the end of the week. Apart from that, Isak is mostly focusing on his last few scenes with Eva.

He doesn’t have much time to talk more with Even, but they spend every night in the same bed, cuddling and falling asleep together. They don’t wake up together most of the time, but Even leaves notes and stupid drawings that Isak pins to the wall over his desk.

There’s one evening where they’re already lying in bed, Even nearly asleep on Isak’s shoulder, when Isak says, “Do you think we’re moving too fast?”

“Mhm, no. Do you?”

“No.” Isak stares at the ceiling.

“Okay?” Even mumbles.

“I don’t know,” Isak sighs, frustrated with his inability to put his thoughts into words.

At this, Even wakes up a little more. “We’ve known each other for six years, Isak. I think it’s okay if we skip the phase where everything’s awkward and we’re unsure about this. We’ve had enough of that.” Even presses a kiss to Isak’s chin, presumably because it’s the place he can most easily reach without actually lifting his head too much. Isak strokes over the hair in the nape of his neck.

“We did have enough of that. It’s nice not feeling unsure anymore.”

“It is,” Even agrees quietly. Isak buries a smile in his hair. They’re good, unconventional speed and start of their relationship aside.

On set they try to keep their hands to themselves, to be professional, but Isak doubts it’s working particularly well. Not when Sana sends him a knowing look on the last day she’s there. “Nice catch,” she says and Isak shouldn’t blush so hard.

Magnus’ reaction to finding out is considerably louder, but at least it happens in Isak’s trailer and not within everyone else’s earshot. He’s lounging on Isak’s couch, a beer in hand, and whining because it’s his last day while Mahdi and Jonas still have tomorrow left to film. They’re all trying to cheer him up by imagining the cast party when Isak’s phone starts vibrating.

He picks up immediately when he sees that it’s Even calling. “Hey,” he greets.

“Hey. Quick question: Will you break up with me if I tell you that I simply can’t live off take-out any longer?”

Isak bites his lip to keep from laughing at Even. “Yes. Definitely. This is an absolutely valid reason for a breakup.”

In his ear, Even sighs loudly. “I thought so. But what if I cook for you instead? Would that make you reconsider?”

“Maybe. I could be convinced,” Isak smiles. Then, he realises abruptly that Even has been directing the whole day, has to get up early tomorrow again and now plans on cooking for him. All of that might be a bit much. “You don’t have to feel obligated, though. Like, you don’t need to cook, you’ve already been working and –“

“Isak?”

“Yeah?”

“I _want_ to cook for you, so please shut up.”

“That’s rude,” Isak grumbles, ducking his head because he can feel his cheeks heating up. He needs to get a handle on all this blushing.

“I’ll woo you with amazing food and you won’t be able to do anything about it.”

Isak fakes a sigh. “Fine, I guess I can live with that.”

Even chuckles slightly. “I’ll see you later.”

“See you later, babe.”

He hangs up, looking up only to find everyone staring at him.

“ _Babe_?” Magnus practically screams at him.

“What?” Isak frowns.

“You called someone babe and they’re cooking for you and – _what the hell did I miss_?” Magnus screeches, all the while Mahdi is just smiling at Isak. Isak grins back.

“Yeah, I did,” Isak says, enjoying this more than what’s probably considered normal. He sees Jonas shaking his head out of the corner of his eye.

“Isak, who the fuck is that other guy?” Magnus is sitting on the edge of the sofa as if he can’t bear to wait for the answer anymore. Isak considers not telling him for a split second because he’s proud to say that he’s a little bit of an asshole at heart. Then, Jonas shoots him a look that basically says, _if you don’t tell him, I will to make him stop screaming_.

Isak sighs. He’s not allowed to have any fun, really. “It’s Even.”

If Jonas thought that telling Magnus would quell the screaming, he was sadly mistaken. Magnus keeps repeating “oh my god” at differing noise levels, until Isak finally says, “Mags, can you please chill? Why are you so invested in this?”

It’s not Magnus who answers but Mahdi. “Dude, we are all invested. Mags is just considerably louder than anyone else.” He hits Magnus lightly over the head.

“Oi, this is a huge development, okay? I’m allowed to have feelings on this. Also, I need to know everything.”

Isak snorts. “Definitely not.”

“What? Why not?”

Jonas answers for him, “Getting Isak to talk is an artform. For it to happen, you’ll have to suffer his presence for longer.”

“Hey,” Isak protests half-heartedly. “That’s not true. Or like, it’s getting better?”

Jonas face softens. “It is.” Isak smiles at Jonas, before punching him in the shoulder.

“What the fuck was that for?”

“You were getting too sappy.”

That starts a conversation on toxic masculinity because Jonas has been reading a book on that and is obviously dying to impress someone with his newfound knowledge. Isak lets him, only checking his phone once when Even has simply sent him a red heart. Isak sends one back.

 

A day before Isak’s last time on set and the wrap party, he’s sitting in his own bed, his laptop on his knees and frowning at the screen. It’s late, too late to be up considering he has a full day tomorrow, but he can’t go to sleep before he’s figured this out.

“What are you doing?” Even asks, sitting down on the bed next to him, already in nothing but a pair of sweatpants. Isak is momentarily distracted by his bare chest before focusing on the unsent email again.

“I’m supposed to start shooting an action movie in four weeks,” he says slowly. Even just nods, shuffling around the bed so that he can lie down. Isak looks at him quickly, the way he’s lying there all relaxed and waiting for Isak to continue. Isak drags in a breath, averting his eyes from Even when he says, “I don’t think I want to do it.”

His muscles are locked tight, bracing for some sort of comment that is in its essence, “Why? That’s an amazing chance, you should take a role like that. It’s so different from what you usually do.” It doesn’t come. Instead, he feels Even’s hand on his stomach as he says, “Okay.”

“Okay?” Isak’s voice shouldn’t be so shaky right now. He swallows heavily before looking back at Even.

“Of course. Can you tell Noora that you don’t want to do it?” Isak wordlessly moves his laptop so that Even can see the opened email to Noora. “So, send it. You shouldn’t do it if you don’t want to.”

“You don’t want to know why I don’t want to do the film?” Isak asks, putting his own hand over Even’s. It’s warm and heavy on his stomach.

“Do you want to tell me?”

Isak’s eyes flit over the room, before settling on Even again. “Noora said to think about what projects I take on. Not if they make sense to further my career and stuff, but more if I actually have enough time for them. If I have enough energy.” Isak pushes the words out of his mouth, where they leave behind a bad taste.

“Do you? Have enough energy?”

Isak thinks back to the last months, the last years, really. How running from shoot to shoot, project to project stopped being fun and became something of a chore. Still a job that he wouldn’t give up for the world, but that stopped being quite so exciting without the power to keep his eyes open. For once, the sleepless nights of his youth hadn’t flared up again, but simply because there was no time for more than five hours of sleep every night anyway. And if he thinks about how he feels now, he realises that he’s still tired. It’s better without the added confusion over what he and Even are, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s been getting up early every day just to be on set for twelve hours and then have a social life on top of that as well. He’s tired and the thought of having only a week off before he has to start some kind of fitness regime to actually get in shape for this movie makes his eyes sting in advance.

“No,” he says and it feels like admitting defeat. “I don’t think I have the energy for it.”

“That’s okay. You don’t have to be _on_ all the time.”

“But like, won’t everyone be disappointed? Or angry? They’ll need to recast my role. I mean, I’m not the lead, but I’m the next thing there is.”

Even shrugs. “Sure, but that’s better than you falling ill in the middle of filming. It’s better than you running yourself into the ground just to please the people around you. You’ll have another chance at an action movie. It’s not worth it if you feel like you’re just going to hate everything about it.”

Isak swallows. “But there are people who can do all this. Who do so many things all the time –“

“Isak, you _are_ one of these people. You just did everything for the longest time. It’s okay to want a break once in a while.”

Isak squeezes Even’s hand in gratitude and maybe because holding onto him is nice, too. “Okay. I’ll tell Noora that I won’t do the film. Sorry, that I’m being so –“ he waves his free hand –“stupid about all this.”

Even laughs slightly. “Isak, do you remember when I texted you for a week straight when I decided to take a break after the short film cycle?”

“Yeah?” Isak frowns at Even.

“Do you remember what the texts were about?”

“Sure. You were stressing over the fact that if you took a break then, just after releasing the films, you’d miss your window or something. Even though you were exhausted, and wasn’t your therapist also like, you should consider a break or something?”

“Yes, exactly.” Even nods. “Did you think my stressing over that was stupid?”

“No!”

“See?” Even asks and Isak stares at him.

“But that’s not – that’s not the same. I’m not in danger of having an episode or something when I work. I just get – well, tired. You had an actual reason.”

“Isak, just because me being bipolar made it very, very clear that a better handle on my schedule would be nice, that doesn’t mean that your body isn’t also telling you to take step back for some time. You just got really sick because of stress. You have a reason to say no to this project.”

“Oh,” Isak breathes.

Even lifts himself up on his elbow, pressing a kiss to Isak’s hand that’s still resting on his laptop. “Send the email. Then, we have more important stuff to do.”

“Yeah?” Isak asks, smiling a little, the mouse hovering over the send button. They haven’t done anything more than share a bed, not when in the past everything else always started with them doing anything but simply sharing a bed.

“Mhm, I have to cuddle you,” Even mumbles into Isak’s side.

“You’re ridiculous,” Isak grins and hits send. It feels slightly wrong, his brain telling him that he should be scared and anxious over what Noora’s response is going to be. Mostly, it feels like letting himself breathe more freely. He puts the laptop away and lets Even pull him closer.

“That’s okay, you still like me anyway.”

“Yeah,” Isak smiles. “I do.”

 

**

**[tumblr.com/tagged/rj cast party]**

Guuuuuys it’s the last day of filming today how is it possible that I’m sad even though I’ve never even set foot on that set?? Someone explain this to me #all the instagram posts are making me emo #i’m just gonna hibernate until the film comes out

Do we know when the film is supposed to be released?? #early next year right?? #pls tell me that it’s gonna be soon #how do I survive otherwise

Oh my god mahdi is fucking filming parts of the wrap party on his Instagram story!!!! #bless him #my son coming through

Magnus picture awwwwwwww they’re all just hanging all over each other it’s so cute #they’re also drunk already #bless them

SHIT MAGNUS STARTED FILMING AS WELL THIS IS A GOOD DAY #i won’t go to sleep then lol

[Video by Magnus: Mahdi and Jonas are dancing in a club. The camera pans around to reveal Isak standing at the bar, talking to someone with their back to the camera. Loud music is playing in the background.] #children #is that even talking to isak?? #i can’t see it properly

Honestly at this point I would be so completely done with everything if isak decided to deign us with a fucking insta post or something #i say as he’s not gonna do that #watch him upload a picture of an empty beer bottle or something #i should have stanned magnus exclusively really

THERE’S SO MUCH CONTENT SUDDENLY I CAN’T #i’m overwhelmed #not that I mind

[Video by Mahdi: Even laughs right into the camera before turning around to say something to Isak, who rolls his eyes.] #LOOK AT THIS CAREFREE BABY GIRAFFE #AND THE GRUMPY KITTEN NEXT TO HIM

[Screenshot of Even laughing into the camera] WHY MUST YOU HURT ME THIS WAY??? #he’s laughing like he never made me cry over all of his films #asshole #jk he’s my tall son who I have to protect with my life

Sometimes when people like to say “oh Isak rolls his eyes so often” I get annoyed because it’s not like he does it a l l the time but then every time we get new content he does #he’s nothing if not consistent

Oh my god is that Sonja on magnus’ Instagram?? Does that mean sonja’s music in the film?? WHAT DOES IT MEAN THAT MY AMAZING MUSIC GODDESS IS THERE AT A WRAP PARTY FOR A FILM THAT SHE’S NOT INVOLVED IN I THOUGHT?? #i need infos #what is this

Ohhhh boi if sonja’s there does that mean even’s back together with her?? Weren’t they a thing for a while? #packing out my old tag again #sonja x even

They were a thing ages ago and they make a point in each interview if they’re asked to say that they’re just friends so like chill #people are allowed to be just friends

[Video by Magnus: Isak and Sonja singing to an inaudible song] DORKS #they look like they’re having so much fun #when you’re jealous of people you’ve never met in your life

The fact that they all seem to be getting along so well just?? Warms my heart??? It feels like there is no drama between them and obviously we don’t know for sure but I can’t wait for the promo time because we’ll see them all again #i love this cast so much oh gooood

[Video by Jonas: Eva holding a glass and screaming into the camera “I love you all, we love you all!”] #she’s a darling #such a darling

 

**[instagram.com/isak_valtersen]**

[Photo of the cast standing in front of a bar. Magnus and Jonas are squatting on the floor, throwing up their hands. Mahdi is grinning widely; Eva’s arm is around his shoulder. Sonja is in the far corner, standing with a bunch of other people. Isak is standing next to Even, smiling at the camera. Even is looking at Isak.]

**isak_valtersen** : they’re all okay i guess

**

By the time Isak gets home with Even closely behind him – Isak’s home, though it feels like Even’s always been there somehow –, Isak has sobered up completely, but there’s still adrenalin burning through his veins. The last day of filming, much like the first, always leaves him a bit breathless.

“You’re not tired,” Even grins when they’ve closed the door behind them.

“Nope,” Isak grins back, toeing out of his shoes and throwing his jacket onto a hook in the hallway.

“We could watch a movie,” Even suggests, putting his own things away. Isak stares at Even as he bends over to grab the keys he somehow let fall to the ground. 

“No,” he says slowly, waiting for Even to turn back around to him. When he does, he simply fixes him with a look.

“No,” Even repeats, his eyes dropping to Isak’s lips. Good, Even is getting with the programme now.

In the next moment, Even is on him, kissing Isak within an inch of his life. His hands are everywhere and Isak's follow suit, roaming over the Even's body, and it doesn’t take long until Isak is panting into Even’s mouth. “Bed,” he says when he finally manages to tear himself away from Even’s lips.

“Perfect idea,” Even mumbles, ducking down to catch another kiss before Isak pulls him into the direction of his bedroom.

“I only have perfect ideas,” he says, because for once, this is not a one-night stand. This is not something that he has to pretend hasn’t happened the next day, not something where they talk as little as possible to keep up the illusion that this is only lust and nothing else. This time, Isak is allowed to make stupid comments and say whatever’s on his mind. (Provided it isn’t too sappy, there’s a limit to everything.)

“I don’t know about that,” Even says and Isak pushes him away a little.

“What, no. I only have amazing ideas, don’t lie.”

“If I say that you do, can I kiss you again?”

“Possibly,” Isak smiles, already missing Even’s lips on his.

“Okay, you only have amazing ideas. Happy?” Even curls a hand in Isak’s hair and tugging him closer again.

“Very,” Isak grins, leaning in to kiss him. They stumble into the bedroom and Isak has Even out of his clothes so fast he’s impressed by himself. Even doesn’t give him any time to congratulate himself on that, though, because he insists on upstaging Isak by getting him naked and then dropping to his knees in front of Isak.

It’s a wonder that Isak doesn’t combust right then and there.

Isak scrambles for something to hold onto, finding the door behind him and leaning against it. There’s heat pooling low in his stomach, making him groan out loud and for a minute he’s reminded of the fact that they’ve done this before. None of this is new, but like that time when they first kissed after their talk, this feels different. Monumental in a way. It’s like the feelings inside of Isak are finally allowed out, finally acknowledged and no longer fluttering around in his stomach, anxious that tomorrow it wouldn’t be Isak and Even anymore but just Isak, waking up alone.

Even’s hands are holding onto Isak’s hips, pressing him against the door, and Isak closes his eyes. Little sounds are continuously escaping him as he tugs lightly at Even’s hair. “Even,” he gasps and Even promptly pulls off, getting up to kiss along Isak’s shoulders. Isak breathes hard against Even’s neck.

“Bed,” he croaks, once he has his body a little more under control again.

They stumble over each other before falling onto the bed. Even lands on Isak. “You’re heavy,” Isak grumbles, all the while pressing kisses to Even’s neck.

“So romantic, Isak, wow,” Even grins.

Isak tries to roll his eyes, but then Even decides that this is the best moment to suck a love bite above Isak’s collarbone and Isak is reduced to heavy breaths and not much else. At some point, Isak finds one of Even’s hands, clasping it tightly between his fingers. After that, the mood changes.

It feels like time slows down around them, becoming sticky and stretched between them, strings of time dangling from Isak’s fingers and connecting him to Even. The air is hot, settling over them like a cloak. Even’s hands are on Isak, leaving a trail of fire behind, knowing to not skim his fingers over Isak’s sides too lightly, where Isak is ticklish. In turn, Isak doesn’t bother trying to keep his free hand from curling into Even’s shoulder, digging his fingers into his skin, knowing that Even doesn’t mind at all.

There’s no need to be careful with each other, not when they know how to touch each other, but it’s calm. The intensity of it building low in Isak’s stomach, climbing up and up, until his legs are trembling, until Even presses his forehead to Isak’s and shudders against him.

And that’s the thing, Isak thinks afterwards when they’re lying next to each other, Even’s head close to Isak’s shoulder, one arm slung lazily across Isak’s stomach: They know each other, they know how to push and pull to make the other’s eyes slip shut in ecstasy. They know where to avoid touching, where to brush over and not linger, and where to hold onto. They’ve known for the longest time, but now it’s like there’s something else, too.

Now, Isak knows what Even looks like first thing in the morning, rubbing sleep from his eyes. He knows how Even insists on breakfast being the most important meal of the day, but how he rarely has time to eat anything other than an apple or a cereal bar. He knows that Even keeps running into random shit in Isak’s apartment, although he’s been here long enough to know where everything is. He knows the way Even listens to him, intently and without interrupting, offering up advice only when asked. He knows all this and it all settles inside of him comfortably, intertwining with the other things he’d learnt of Even years ago.

“I like you,” he whispers into Even’s hair.

“I like you, too,” Even says. Isak can feel his smile pressing into his shoulder.

Isak stares at the ceiling, drawing circles onto Even’s back. “Are you sad that we didn’t end up like Sander and Daniel in _Elsewhere_? High school sweethearts, I mean. That we didn’t get our shit together sooner?” Isak isn’t asking to bring the mood down, but simply because it comes to his mind and he doesn’t have to keep everything bottled up anymore. The time of unspoken agreements is behind them and while talking about everything is new and scary, Isak is teaching his tongue how to form questions and actually push them out of his mouth. It’s an uphill battle most of the time, but he takes what he can get. Asking scary questions when his brain is tired and sated is a beginning.

“No,” Even answers. He pulls Isak closer. Isak turns onto his side so that he can look at Even. He looks sleepy, his hair flopping over his eyes. Soft, Isak thinks and doesn’t stop himself from pressing a tiny kiss to Even’s lips.

“No?” he repeats quietly.

Even shakes his head minutely, a smile playing on his lips. “No. This is better.”

Isak smiles back. He doesn’t need to be elsewhere when he can be here with Even.


	8. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It’s always the best feeling to be reminded that I have you now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to [Nika](http://itistimeforusalltodecidewhoweare.tumblr.com/) as always! Thank you for letting me scream at you the whole time and for helping me when I got stuck! <33 
> 
> For once the rest of the thank you's will be in the end notes!

**[isakvaltersenupdates.tumblr.com]**

Translation from this link: Isak Valtersen drops out of action movie set to start shooting this June.

The actor, who just finished shooting _Romeo and Juliet_ , has put out a statement via his publicist reading, “Due to personal circumstances, I am sorry to announce that I will be stepping down from my role. I will take a little break to recover my usual energy. I’ll be back as soon as possible. Until then, I would like to wish the production company all the best and apologise to everyone who is disappointed by this development. I am sure that the actor taking my place will be absolutely phenomenal and I wish him the best of luck.”

 

Guys, we love all of you, but please remember that we have a FAQ and that we also don’t have more info than what is said in Isak’s statement. Judging from the fact that he’s still happily posting Instagram pictures, we think it’s fair to say that he’s neither dying nor suddenly realising that he hates acting and wants to quit. Let’s just wish him all the best and not spam him on his Instagram.

xx Aly and Lise

 

**

“Noora, don’t put ‘I will take a little break _for once_ ’ in. What the hell?”

“Well, it is _for once_ though, isn’t it?”

“I don’t care, it’s not going in.”

“Julian thought it was a great addition.”

“Julian thinks coffee at two in the morning is a great addition to his usual coffee at midnight. Since when do you listen to him?”

“Fine, I’ll take it out. Can you read over the rest and tell me if it’s kind of what you want to say?”

“Sure…Can you put in that I’m sorry for like – my fans? That sounds weird.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, I guess I feel like I need to apologise to them. For not being in that movie.”

“You don’t.”

“Just – put it in?”

“Of course.”

“Thanks. Do you need anything else?”

“No. Why are you so happy – never mind, you’re meeting Even.”

“No comment on that.”

 

**

**[kittenisak.tumblr.com]**

Oh my god I have no words fuck I just met isak

Like just on the street

Fuck I’m still shaking

Okay, okay yes full account of what happened (very little lol but I’m still dead): so I was sitting in a café waiting for a friend (who was late and normally that is the fucking worst but now I just want to thank her for never being on time ever in her life) and then I looked up from my table and there was isak sitting in the corner of the café. Obviously I just screamed silently at first. He was reading something on his phone or texting idk I was honestly too afraid I was gonna die on the spot if I did anything but stare at him.

But I couldn’t just sit there because I knew I was gonna hate myself if I didn’t approach him and anyways my friend wasn’t there yet and I hadn’t ordered anything. So I got up and went to him and when I asked him if he really was Isak Valtersen (as if I couldn’t recognise him faster than my own brother probably) he looked up and he smiled and me and was like “yeah, that’s me. Hi.”

At that point, I was only surviving on sheer adrenaline. I think I blacked out a little then I was basically just like okay hey I’m a big fan of yours and I love your movies and I can’t wait for Romeo and Juliet and he kinda blushed? And was just really, really nice and happy. He asked me if I wanted a photo and when I couldn’t figure out how to work my own fucking phone camera he offered to take the photo for me and NOW I HAVE A PHOTO WITH ISAK VALTERSEN WHERE I LOOK LIKE DEATH WARMED OVER BUT HE’S A LITERAL ANGEL

Before I left the café (I didn’t want him to feel like I was stalking him or anything and I was gonna meet up with my friend at some other place AFTER HAVING FINISHED DYING) I told him that I hoped he was okay what with pulling out of the movie I think I said something like that, idk I just wanted him to know that we all just want him to be happy and he looked so surprised? I mean okay I could be projecting but he honestly looked surprised and then he smiled at me and FUCKING HUGGED ME AND THANKED ME AND I JUST THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE

 

**

“Eskild, why? Like, what did I ever do to you?”

“Do you want a list?”

“What? I’m the best client you have ever had.”

“You spilled ketchup on a borrowed suit once, Isak. A borrowed suit. That means one that I have to return and then tell them that the actor who wore it was behaving like a gross teenager –“

“I’m not a fucking teenager any longer.”

“- _behaving_ like a gross teenager and spilling ketchup on a suit that costs more than his whole wardrobe together.”

“I said sorry for that! Not my fault that there’s never anything to eat at those award shows.”

“And then you decided that it was a great idea to eat something with ketchup? In your suit?”

“Jesus Christ.”

“Isak, I love you with all my heart, but you might be one of the worst clients I’ve ever had.”

“Hey!”

“It’s good you’re cute, honestly. How does Even put up with you?”

“First of all, Even doesn’t _put up with me_. Secondly, he can’t do laundry to save his life, so be thankful that I gave the suit right back to you or he’d have tried his hardest to destroy it completely. All while telling me that he’s _fixing_ it.”

“Seriously? There’s something he can’t do?”

“That’s what you’re taking away from this?”

“Well, he always seems like someone who has his shit together and isn’t cowed by little things like laundry.”

“He is, trust me.”

“I guess everyone has to have some kind of Achilles heel.”

“Eskild?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re not gonna mention the ketchup incident in your interview tomorrow, right?”

“The ketchup incident, is that what we’re calling it?”

“ _Eskild_.”

“No, baby gay, I won’t mention it.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ll use it as blackmail.”

“Fuck you.”

“Love you too.”

 

**

**[Extract of an interview with stylist Eskild Tryggvasson]**

INTERVIEWER: You’ve become Norway’s go-to stylist for award shows in the last years. How does that feel?

ESKILD TRYGGVASSON: It’s amazing. I love fashion, always have, and the fact that people now actually want to pay me to let me make decisions for them concerning clothes is the best feeling. It’s great working with so many different people who have such differing styles.

INTERVIEWER: You’re not only working with the musician Sonja, but also with actors like Isak Valtersen. Is there a big difference in what working with them is like?

ESKILD (laughs): A huge difference! Sonja is very involved in the process of selecting outfits. We usually go shopping together or she tells me what she’d like to incorporate theme-wise. For her new music video, for instance, we’ve worked together quite closely to figure out what style she wants to go for. Isak is … less involved. He basically lets me put anything on him as long as it’s not too outrageous and he’s moderately comfortable. He hates wearing stuff with weird textures so I stay far away from that. He’s getting a little more daring though, I feel like.

INTERVIEWER: Is it still fun working with people who aren’t as daring?

ESKILD: Of course! I just want to make people feel comfortable and let them look amazing in the process. Not everyone is suited for pink feather boas and tights, but that doesn’t mean that a well-tailored suit can’t do just as much if not more for the right person.

**[tumblr.com/tagged/isak valtersen]**

That new interview with isak’s stylist has me crying tears of joy honestly #i still want to thank eskild for all the amazing clothes he puts isak in #like damn #nice work

“Do you have any funny stories involving the people you work with?”  
“I’m afraid I was sworn to secrecy on that front. What I can say, though, is that it’s always funny – and by that I mean it’s a small catastrophe – when something rips or someone ruins some article of clothing. You learn to always come prepared with a needle and thread. For some people, you need more than for others.”  #quote #eskild tryggvasson #who wants to bet that isak constantly ruins stuff? #like I can just imagine this perfectly

‘sworn to secrecy’ headcanon that isak doesn’t want us to know what a fail he is when it comes to maintaining clothes #an idiot who is incapable of doing anything #except killing me regularly ofc

OKAY BUT SERIOUS QUESTION: WHY DID NO ONE ASK ESKILD ABOUT THE MAROON SUIT FROM LIKE THREE MONTHS AGO?? I’M STILL NOT OVER THAT #someone come through for me

[Screenshot of a Twitter user asking Eskild: “Sooo, are you aware of the all the hype you caused by putting Isak in that maroon suit a few months back?”] I’ll update you if he answers #let’s pray that he does

Eskild is such a nice person though saying that he just wants everyone to feel comfortable and that doesn’t mean the same thing for everyone #<3 #this is lovely #he seems lovely

[Screenshot of Eskild answering to “Sooo, are you aware…”: “Haha, yes. You all have very good taste”] THANK YOU AND GOODBYE #this is everything I need in life and more

 

**

“Those shots are very nice. I like how they focus on Sonja first, before blurring her out to focus on the background. It’s really in tune with the lyrics. Bergen also looks as good as it ever did here. Kind of magical in a way.”

“Even.”

“Also, the clothes are really cool. Did Eskild have a hand in this? I think I recognise that sweater you’re wearing from somewhere.”

“Even.”

“Yes?”

“What do you think of the acting in it?”

“The acting? Great, you’re amazing as always.”

“Mhm and what do you say when I tell you that it’s very amusing how you’re ignoring literally the whole storyline where I flirt with Sonja and then pine over her?”

“I’m not doing that.”

“You’ve been talking about shots and frames and the clothes I’m wearing, Even.”

“Well, those are all very interesting topics.”

“Sure. So very interesting.”

“Excuse me, I’m a director. I like talking about the different kinds of frames.”

“But _clothes_?”

“I’m allowed to be interested in more than one thing, okay.”

“You’re cute when you’re pretending that you’re not a tiny bit irrationally jealous.”

“Irrationally?”

“Are you fishing for compliments or do you think that I’d secretly been waiting for a chance with Sonja?”

“Obviously I don't think that you'd been waiting for a chance with Sonja, Isak.”

“Good.”

“I'm not jealous, I just don’t like watching you pine over someone else.”

“How the fuck did you manage to direct me and Eva? We had multiple make-out scenes.”

“Erm.”

“Yes?”

“I was distracted.”

“By what?”

“Well, obviously if I’m directing I’m not focusing only on what you’re doing but how to frame the shot and the light and if the angles could be improved.”

“And?”

“Also, I might’ve been a little distracted by you flipping Eva over. It was quite impressive.”

“That’s…good to know.”

“Yeah? Isak – what the – oh…please put my laptop away before you do anything else. If it breaks I will kill you.”

“You’re really good at ruining the mood, you know.”

“It’s a talent.”

 

**

**[Part of the “Behind the Scenes” video for _Release_ by Sonja]**

SONJA (telling the camera): We’re here in Bergen to shoot my new music video and it’s ridiculously early, but I’m really excited! Let me show you where we’re going to be filming first.

[The camera follows her to a little cabin. SONJA shows the viewer around the cabin before entering. Inside, ISAK is sitting on a chair in the middle of the room, cameras are set up around him. ISAK is getting his hair done while he’s sipping on a coffee.]

SONJA: And that’s my co-star today. Isak, how are you?

ISAK (looking up from his phone, blinking at Sonja): Tired. I hope everyone knows that you’re forcing me to be up at an ungodly hour.

SONJA: I asked you and you said yes, don’t pretend like I roped you into this.

ISAK (pretending to be enraged): I didn’t know that it was gonna be this early!

SONJA: You get free coffee and my amazing presence that should be enough for you.

ISAK (sighing): You know it will be very hard to play like I’m in love with you. You’re way too mean.

[SONJA kicks ISAK’s knee]

ISAK: What? It’s the truth.

SONJA: I’m so gonna complain about you.

ISAK: To whom?

[SONJA just raises her eyebrows]

ISAK (apparently comprehending something): Ugh, you’re the worst. You’re lucky that I like you.

SONJA: I know.

[SONJA leans down to press a kiss to his cheek.]

SONJA: See you later, pretend-lover.

[ISAK rolls his eyes]

 

**[tumblr.com/tagged/isak valtersen]**

I ALREADY DIED BECAUSE OF THE ACTUAL VIDEO FOR RELEASE BUT THE BTS VIDEO MIGHT JUST KILL ME EVEN MORE #they are so stupid both of them #i didn’t know that I needed their friendship #but I do #bromance goals

PRETEND-LOVER I love Sonja so much fuck #this is the best thing ever #bless her for giving us so much content #also her new song? #a fucking bomb

[Gif of Isak asking “To whom?” and Sonja raising her eyebrows in response] I feel like I missed something there?? Where’s the side of fandom that’s so good at reaching what the hell is going on here? #this whole exchange is weird imo

Okay but this video was filmed before Romeo and Juliet even started filming, so that puts it in like late March/early April who the fuck could Sonja complain to with regards to Isak?? Someone they both know? Someone completely different? #what’s going on #will we ever find out?? #probably not

Who even cares who she wants to “complain” to?? I just like to imagine Sonja and Isak being friends and dragging people together #for instance even #like lovingly #but very much still dragging him #ot3 bromance

How can isak literally make me lowkey cry in the music video just to make me laugh at him in the bts video?? #i love him

 

**

“You know, I’m kind of really excited for this.”

“Isn’t that the way it should be?”

“Yeah, but I think I lost some of that excitement before, but I love that I’m doing this now. I mean, yeah it’s smaller, but I’ve got three more things coming out next year anyway, so I think I’ll be fine?”

“Isak, you’ll be more than fine. You’ll have no time for anything else anyway, you’re going to be doing promo all the time next year.”

“Shit, I know.”

“It’s gonna be fine. You’ll have so much time to make sarcastic comments, it will be the time of your life.”

“I’m gonna be away a lot, though.”

“We’ll deal with that when it comes to it. Before that you’ll be right here rehearsing for October.”

“Fuck, I haven’t been on a stage in forever. I’ll probably die the first night.”

“You won’t. You _can’t_ , I have to shower you with flowers and kisses afterwards.”

“Oh my god, you’re so sappy.”

“You love it.”

“Maybe.”

 

**

**[isakvaltersenupdates.tumblr.com]**

I don’t have time for a full translation right now, but basically: Isak is going to star in a play in Oslo come October. It’s a modern play, no idea what it’s gonna be about as of yet, but they’ll apparently start rehearsing in late August, so in like a little more than two weeks. Here, is the link with the full article.

 

This is not necessarily that important for this page here, but we thought some of you might want to know that Magnus Fossbakken is also set to star in the play with Isak!

 

**[Extract from an interview with Magnus Fossbakken after the premiere of the play]**

INTERVIEWER: You’ve only shot movies before, so what’s it like being on stage for the first time now?

MAGNUS FOSSBAKKEN: Honestly, I was a little intimated because all the other actors have been doing theatre either for a long time already or at least have done it at all, you know? But it was amazing! No, it _is_ amazing! It’s also really cool to be acting with Isak again. He’s like, the best.

INTERVIEWER: Right, you’ve gotten to know each other on the set of _Romeo and Juliet_. What’s it like being reunited again?

MAGNUS: Man, it’s so nice. He’s a really good actor, like don’t tell him that I said that, he doesn’t need to get more of an inflated ego, but he really is. He kinda helped me not to be so stressed and it’s always easier when you already know someone.

[ISAK VALTERSEN comes into view behind MAGNUS, looking around.]

MAGNUS: Isak! We’re talking about you.

[ISAK walks over to them, grinning and letting MAGNUS put an arm around his shoulders.]

ISAK VALTERSEN: Only good things I hope.

MAGNUS: Nah, I told them about that time when you choked on water during rehearsals and proceeded to nearly die.

ISAK: The fuck? Mags, why? I mean that’s a lie. Obviously. I don’t do things like that. Ever.

MAGNUS: Just kidding, I told them that you’re an okay actor.

ISAK (rolling his eyes): I’m amazing, didn’t you hear?

INTERVIEWER: Isak, now that we have you here as well: Were you nervous before the premiere today? Now, that you’re such an experienced actor.

ISAK (laughing a little): I wouldn’t say that I’m such an experienced actor. I’m not that old! But yeah, I was. I think you always are in some way. Not in a bad way, but it’s always nerve-wracking to do something for the very first time when you don’t know how the audience will react.

INTERVIEWER: Well, the audience seemed to love it. There were standing ovations afterwards.

ISAK: That’s always nice.

MAGNUS: That’s fucking amazing, what are you talking about?

[From off camera, someone is yelling “Isak”. ISAK turns his head, smiling, before looking back at the interviewer.]

ISAK: Guys, very sorry, but I have to leave. Mags, we’ll meet up then?

MAGNUS: Of course. Say hi to – say hi to him from me.

[ISAK nods, saying goodbye to the interviewer, before jogging out of frame.]

 

**[tumblr.com/tagged/isak valtersen]**

All those short interviews from the premiere make me ridiculously happy even though I’ve never and will never see the actual play in question #or will i? #if someone has a bootleg hit me up #god I feel like I’m back in my musical theatre fandom time #good times

“He’s [Isak’s] like, the best” – Magnus ‘Fangirl’ Fossbakken #magnus is all of us #again #i love him

Ohhhh my gooood I can’t wait to see the play #why did I only get tickets for November #i’m an idiot

Magnus and isak is literally the friendship to end all friendships #watch me dedicate a whole sideblog to them #no regrets

[Gif of Magnus talking to Isak, “Say hi to – say hi to him from me.” Second gif of Isak nodding and smiling] WHAT WAS THIS??? WHO ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT?? #war flashbacks to the time that fandom nearly killed itself over useless drama when that bts video of release dropped #still can’t hear the word complain without being triggered #also relax #i’m kidding #obviously I’m not really being triggered #i can feel the anons coming after me already

ISAK LOOKS SO HAPPY AND SMILEY AND I JUST LOVE THIS I WANT HIM TO BE THIS HAPPY ALWAYS #the way he ducks his head when the interviewer is like #’there’ve been standing ovations’ #like baby you’re literally a fucking amazing actor how can you not realise that #he’s all false bravado and sarcasm 

SAY HI TO WHOM????? #how can one person be so secretive?? #it’s not cute isak

Instead of speculating who Isak is gonna say hi to (his family? His friend? Honestly, who cares) can we appreciate the fact that he’s finally letting his hair grow out a little more again? Because that might be my favourite thing right after the fact that he’s so smiley all of a sudden #not that he wasn’t nice in other interviews too #but remember Lazarus? #he looked really tired then and he didn’t really interact that much with the interviewers #just gave like all the same answers #he looks happier now

MAGNUS “ISAK THE BEST” FOSSBAKKEN IS ME IN EVERY CIRCUMSTANCE #bless him #really #i relate so hard

 

**[Extract of an interview with ISAK VALTERSEN talking about his upcoming miniseries _Yellow_ ] **

INTERVIEWER: You’ve just finished two and half months back on stage. Now you’re back to promoting your upcoming films. What’s next for you?

ISAK VALTERSEN (laughing and shaking his head): Isn’t that enough? No, I’m relaxing a little now. I forgot how taxing it is to be on stage every evening for more than two hours and then do rehearsals as well. Other than that, yeah, promo, but I’m looking forward to that, I really like the projects. It’s exciting that everyone else will get to see them fairly soon now.

INTERVIEWER: You’ve got a lot coming out! First _Yellow_ , your miniseries, in January and then _Romeo and Juliet_ in the middle of February. After that, there’s the much-anticipated release of your first Hollywood film, _First Season_.

ISAK (shrugging a little): People will get sick of my face, I tell you.

INTERVIEWER: Never! Actually, how come that _Romeo and Juliet_ has an earlier release date than _First_ _Season_ , the heist movie you shot in LA. Didn’t you shoot that one before _Romeo and Juliet_?

ISAK: I did, yeah, but I guess they have to spend more time on CGI and stuff. _Romeo and Juliet_ doesn’t really have a lot of that, I think.

INTERVIEWER: Have you already seen a first version of _Romeo and Juliet_? Can you maybe give us a little sneak peak of what we can expect?

ISAK (grinning): I have. I wasn’t supposed to, but I have my ways. (he winks) But I think if I tell you anything, they’ll find a way to get me out of the movie. And I’d rather not have that.

INTERVIEWER: Before we return to talking about your series, I just wanted to ask: Earlier this year you dropped out of an action movie citing personal circumstances. I guess everyone wants to know if you’re alright now.

ISAK (shifting on his seat a little): I’m good, yeah. I just had to take a little break, but now I’m back to full energy and better at scheduling stuff in a way that makes it actually possible to do everything I want to do.

INTERVIEWER: Did you enjoy your break?

ISAK: Yeah, it was great! I mean by the end of it my bo- my friends already were telling me that I should probably start working again because I annoyed them by being so relaxed. They were like, we don’t recognise you anymore. All in good fun, of course. I was maybe a little too smug over not working at the end (laughs).

 

**[tumblr.com/tagged/isak valtersen]**

“I mean by the end of it my bo- erm, my friends” wait wait is that isak actually nearly letting a personal detail of his life slip?? The person who’s been dodging dating questions for a lifetime now and has never been spotted with anyone ever?? Who said in an interview that, and I quote, “I really value my private life, so everyone can go around and speculate over whether I’m single or not if it’s fun for them, but I won’t comment on that.” Did that same person just nearly say boyfriend?? #my poor heart #i can’t take any of this #oh my god

Just imagine smug Isak letting everyone know that he’s relaxing and doing nothing I can imagine everyone getting tired of it I love him #whenever I feel that my tag ‘he’s a little shit’ is too mean he does something like that #he’s a little shit

What the fuck did I miss since when does Isak have a boyfriend??? #i leave tumblr for two hours and come back to this #wtf is going on #since when does this kid ever confirm anything ever #apart from what truly atrocious stuff he eats on the regular #actually #those instagram posts have declined in the past few months right??

We don’t know if he has a boyfriend guys let’s cool it down, let’s respect his privacy and not be creepy #can this fandom chill

I want the boyfriend comment to be true because I really need Isak to be cuddled to death every day and I’d sacrifice myself for that job but I doubt that he’d want that so please let me believe that he has a boyfriend who cuddles him #this is my headcanon #you can pry it away from my cold dead hands #apart from that #yeah can everyone chill please #it's his life #don't be fucking creeps

 

**

“Do you feel like we’re hiding?”

“What?”

“Do you feel like we’re hiding our relationship?”

“Isak, we literally live together, all our friends know – by the way, Jonas is asking whether we’ll come to this small party he’s hosting on Friday -, I’ve met your parents, and my parents have practically adopted you. I don’t think you can call that hiding.”

“No, not that. Also, yes, we can go to that party, Jonas was bugging me about that the whole time yesterday. I told him that I’d let him know, but apparently I was too slow. Anyway, that’s not what I meant. Like, with the hiding thing.”

“Did you mean we’re hiding from your fans? Or I guess the media in general?”

“Yeah.”

“Is this about you nearly saying ‘my boyfriend’?”

“Maybe. It’s just – you were really happy when you watched that interview.”

“I’m always happy when I watch interviews with you. What? It’s true.”

“Ugh, that’s not what I meant. You were even happier than usual?”

“Sure, I like it when you call me your boyfriend.”

“Well, yes, I like that too.”

“What? Calling me your boyfriend or me calling you my boyfriend?”

“…both. Stop grinning, it’s not attractive.”

“That’s a horrible lie, Isak. Horrible.”

“You keep changing the subject, you know?”

“Yes, sorry. Okay, look, I like you calling me your boyfriend in literally every circumstance. Whether it’s to be obnoxious towards Magnus or in front of our friends or just the two of us. I honestly don’t care, it’s always the best feeling to be reminded that I have you now. But if you never want to call me that in front of a camera or in an interview or whatever, I don’t care. It’s not like we’re hiding, you’re just not sharing your private life with people you’ve never met or only met once, I get that.”

“But you don’t do that. You’re so open with everyone. You’ve talked about being bipolar, you turn up in every LGBT video they want you to do. Don’t think I didn’t see the one where you’re wrapped in the pansexual pride flag.”

“That was a really good look. But, Isak, just because I do that doesn’t mean that you have to. Plus, I’ve literally never talked about who I’m dating in interviews before. My relationship with Sonja was just something that I mentioned at some point, but it wasn’t a conscious decision to discuss my love life with an interviewer. We don’t ever have to do that.”

“What if I want to? What if I want people to know that I have a boyfriend?”

“Then I’m gonna be the first to cheer you on when you let them know. Well, only if it doesn’t turn out that you’re talking about a boyfriend that isn’t me.”

“You’re so stupid. Oh my god.”

“You love me.”

“I do.”

 

**

**[twitter.com/YellowTV]**

Do we have any Isak fans here? Because a little bird told us that he might be doing a Twitter Q&A right here in about an hour’s time! #AskIsak

Heeey, I took over this twitter account. So, ask away I guess? #AskIsak #AskMeMoreLike

_What’s your favourite food?_ Kebab. Definitely. #AskIsak

_Can you say happy birthday to my friend Nika? Pleeeeease._ Happy birthday Nika! #AskIsak

_What’s your favourite thing about being an actor?_ Playing so many different roles #AskIsak

_What was it like working with the incomparable, amazing Magnus Fossbakken???_ Mags, I know it’s you. You’ve literally told me your friend’s twitter handle that you’d use to ask that. #AskIsak

_Will you ever post something on your Instagram again?_ I posted something a few weeks ago. Or I think I did? #AskIsak

_That was two months ago._ Oops…#AskIsak

_Do you have any pets?_ Noo, our apartment doesn’t allow any. Not that I’d have the time #AskIsak

_Are you excited for Yellow?_ YES I can’t wait for you all to see it #AskIsak

_What was it like shooting the miniseries?_ Amazing. We got to be on location a lot, which is always cool. But also cold. Not that I ever get cold. I just don’t want anyone else to be

\- cold of course. Ugh, 140 characters is nothing. #AskIsak

_‘Our apartment’? Do you share an apartment with a friend?_ Boyfriend, but yes

_Are you sleeping well?_ Yes? Why do I have like twenty questions asking that? #AskIsak

_Who’s your boyfriend omg??_ He’s an okay person #AskIsak

[ **evenbechnaesheim** retweeted “Who’s your boyfriend omg? He’s an okay person #AskIsak”] Don’t overdo it with the flattery. He might get a big head.

[ **YellowTV** answered to “Don’t overdo it with…”] Please, I’m the original Romeo #AskIsak

 

**[tumblr.com/tagged/isak valtersen]**

THIS Q&A KEEPS ON GIVING AND GIVING WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS????? #I HONESTLY CAN’T

THE ORIGINAL ROMEO I’M DYING #he’s so stupid #i can’t #guess what my new wallpaper is #a quote of that already iconic tweet

“our apartment” I want to let everyone know that I died while screaming #ohhhhhhh #myyyyyyyyy #goooooood

DOES THAT MEAN ISAK AND EVEN ARE TOGETHER???? #or was even just randomly on?? #and then he thought it’d be good to answer to that?? #i understand nothing

I love isak’s and even’s friendship the ribbing about isak’s boyfriend skills #i love it #amazing

Isak/even confirmed how can you take this as anything else than even saying “he” with regards to himself??? #open your eyes people #that’s not even reaching at this point

Isak is so fucking dramatic he can’t just normally tell people that he has a boyfriend, no he casually drops “our apartment” and then proceeds to follow it up with “he’s an okay person” and THEN CONFUSES EVERYONE BECAUSE NOW NO ONE KNOWS IF HE’S ANSWERING EVEN AS A FRIEND OR IF EVEN IS THE BOYFRIENDTM #tbh that alone makes me think even is his boyfriend #the dramatics and extraness is something I’ve come to expect from even #now isak too

Let’s talk about the real tragedy here: isak is not allowed to have pets in his apartment which means I will forever wait for a pic of isak with a tiny baby kitten or a puppy #life is unfair #just imagine him with a kitten in his lap #ugh

 

**

“Even, are you nervous?”

“A little. Why?”

“You’ve tied that tie four times now. Here, let me do it.”

“As if you’re so good at tying ties. Doesn’t Eskild usually do yours?”

“Please, I’m the fucking best at this. Eskild learnt it from me.”

“Really?”

“Yes, he wishes he’d be as good as me at this.”

“Don’t let Eskild hear you say this.”

“He’s in search of coffee with Julian, he’s not gonna hear this anytime soon.”

“It’s wonky now.”

“Even, you should know that that means it has character.”

“Of course. How could I have not realised this?”

“That’s why you have me.”

“Thank you.”

“What for?”

“For distracting me. I might be more nervous than I thought.”

“I’d love to distract you properly, but I swear if I ruin your suit Eskild is going to kill me.”

“As he should, I look amazing in this suit.”

“You do.”

“Isak, are _you_ nervous?”

“A bit. But it’s not my film, you’re the director.”

“You’re the lead, though.”

“Yeah, but I’m not so nervous about that, I don’t know.”

“Are you nervous about anything else?”

“Maybe? I mean walking the red carpet with you, but it’s more positive excitement I think. It’s not as if anyone is really gonna be surprised that you’re my boyfriend. There’s been so much speculation already.”

“You still wanna do it?”

“Yes. Someone has to hold your hand so that you don’t faint.”

“Ah, are you my Prince Charming?”

“Exactly.”

“And I’m the damsel in distress?”

“You won’t be in distress.”

“No, I guess not.”

 

**

**[tumblr.com/tagged/romeo and juliet]**

There are so many pictures coming out I’m gonna hit post limit tonight fuck #this is everything

Shit eva’s dress is so pretty SHE IS SO PRETTY #look at her #she’s like a princess

Mahdi my son looking fiiiiiine #bless him

Jonas is looking so sleek and nice and premieres are the best for finding new HQ pics of actors you stan #can it be promo time always??

MAGNUS LOOKS SO HAPPY I’M GRINNING STUPIDLY #my fave son

OH MY GOD

FUCK

SHIT PLEASE TELL ME I’M ACTUALLY SEEING THIS

What the hell is going on??? The livestream of the premiere is fucking geoblocked here #i hate everything

HERE’S A LINK THAT SHOULD WORK NOW DIE WITH THE REST OF US #livestream

FUCK FUCK OH MY GOD

ISAK AND EVEN OH MY GOD

IS EVERYONE SEEING THIS??? THEY’RE FUCKING HOLDING HANDS THEY’RE HOLDING HANDS #I AM DEAD #SO DEAD

[Picture of Isak Valtersen waving at the crowd while holding Even Bech Næsheim’s hand]

[Picture of Isak Valtersen smiling at Even Bech Næsheim, standing shoulder to shoulder]

[Picture of Even Bech Næsheim grinning at Isak Valtersen]  

THIS IS THE NEW POWER COUPLE FUCK LOOK AT THEM THEY’RE GLOWING I WANT TO DIE #this is everything #everything let me tell you

OH MY GOD WE’LL GET PREMIERE INTERVIEWS I’M NOT READY

SHIT JUST THE FACT THAT THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING IS TOO MUCH FOR ME

 

**[Extract of an interview with ISAK VALTERSEN and EVA KVIIG MOHN at the premiere of _Romeo and Juliet_ ] **

INTERVIEWER: Hey! You both look so good!

EVA KVIIG MOHN: Thank you! You look very pretty, too. What’s your name?

[ISAK grins at EVA]

INTERVIEWER: Erm, Vilde.

EVA: Hey, Vilde. Nice to meet you.

ISAK: Hi.

VILDE: No, it’s nice to meet _you_. What’s it like being at the premiere for the first film that you’re doing together?

EVA: Really, really nice. But to be honest, I can’t wait for the afterparty. You know, when everything isn’t as stressful anymore.

VILDE: Sure, yes. Afterparties are always fun.

EVA (grinning): You should come.

ISAK: Eva, I swear you’re –

VILDE: Great! But, how are you feeling about the film? Excited that everyone will get to see it?

ISAK: Really excited.

EVA: Yes, it’s time that everyone finally sees what Even’s vision for this was!

VILDE: Right, what was it like working together with Even Bech Næsheim as your director?

EVA (laughing): You should ask Isak that.

ISAK: Hey, you’ve worked with him, too.

[EVA waggles her eyebrows.]

VILDE: Well, it does seem that you’re much closer to Even than the rest of the cast is, Isak.

ISAK: I don’t know, Magnus would probably also like to walk the red carpet holding Even’s hand.

[VILDE is visibly flustered]

EVA: Isak, don’t be a dick. Wait, sorry, I’m not supposed to swear, right?

VILDE: It’s okay! No problem, we’ll just bleep it out.

ISAK: Okay, yes, I very much hope for Even’s sake that he’s not as close to the rest of the cast as he is to me. That’d be awkward. I don’t plan on sharing him.

VILDE: Well, everyone is very happy for you!

ISAK: Thank you. I’m very happy for me too.

EVA (groaning): How can you still be this gross?

 

**[giveevenanoscar.tumblr.com]**

Oh my god okay okay I somehow got a hold of premiere tickets for Romeo and Juliet and jfc it was so good??? This isn’t so much a review as like everything I remember from the whole experience and it’s not chronological or anything because my brain is still dead and I haven’t slept yet

  * We (my friend and I) were close to the red carpet for a bit and we saw even and isak hold hands with our own eyes and let me tell you it was a spiritual experience I’m not even kidding here it was literally the best
  * We went in quite soon though because we were weirdly paranoid that we’d not find our seats or whatever idek we weren’t quite rational by that point
  * Before the movie even said something about how he couldn’t have done the movie without sana’s amazing script and the rest of the cast and he was so happy and kept swaying back and forth and isak fonded at him from a few metres away
  * Then the movie started
  * And let me tell you it’s so amazing (obviously spoilers ahead)
  * Like there are three different versions of romeo and Juliet in it and like all are played by isak and eva but one is set in old times (so closer to Shakespeare I guess), one in the fifties or something and one in the 21st century
  * And their characters are slightly different in each version and plotwise the old version is quite true to the Shakespeare version but the others only take the basic themes and the rest of the characters
  * Like in the 21st century version they can’t date each other because of a weird school feud that has to do with them being on different russebusses (it’s a Norwegian thing, like the busses not the feud, just google it if you haven’t heard of that yet)
  * But I don’t want to talk about all that because the really, really cool thing imo (massive spoiler ahead) is that they only die in one universe and when you realise this as a viewer you have no idea which one and it gets like really intense (if you want to know in which universe they die hit me up, I feel like it’s better to watch without knowing)
  * There are these immensely beautiful shots in it (think of intertwined and then some more) and the end is cut really quickly were all the universes kinda merge into each other to show that the basics are the same in each one and that’s what makes it so intense I feel like
  * Even’s vision just comes through so so so well and it’s one of his best films, if not the best film he’s ever shot, it’s so intimate but at the same time everything feels so important and because of that so huge? Idk if I’m making sense here but it’s one of the most mesmerising films I have ever seen, the lighting alone could bring me to tears
  * But enough about plot
  * Because lbr we all want to know how isak was (I’ll talk about the other actors in a separate post because honestly they all deserve it)
  * And I can honestly say his portrayal of Romeo is so FUCKING GOOD HE PLAYS HIM AS THIS COOL GUY ON THE EXTERIOR WHO IS JUST SO DESPERATELY IN LOVE WITH JULIET AND IT HURTS TO WATCH HIM (eva is literally perfect just to say that as well)
  * There’s a scene where Romeo breaks down crying and I swear the whole cinema was crying with him it’s this silent crying where your whole body shudders and it’S SO FUCKING HEARTBREAKING AND WELL ACTED
  * I JUST CAN’T OKAY
  * There was a short q&a after the movie (I can’t remember anything of that I can only remember that I was still crying at that point)
  * And before they left every actor got handed the microphone to say something and everyone was like “thanks so much, we hope you enjoyed it blah blah” and then it got to isak and he said “thanks for watching me cry for the past twenty minutes” and THAT WAS HIS WHOLE COMMENT I HATE HIM OKAY
  * Also when they left even had to hand back a mic to someone else and he was held up a little and ISAK WAITED FOR HIM IN THE WINGS I COULD SEE HIM WAITING AND THEN EVEN HURRIED TO HIM AND IDK WHAT THEY SAID BUT ISAK LIKE TAPPED EVEN’S WRIST AS IF TO SAY “YOU’RE LATE” AND EVEN JUST LAUGHED AT HIM AND THEY LEFT TOGETHER
  * i am dead



 

**[Extract of interview with ISAK VALTERSEN and EVA KVIIG MOHN at the press junket for _Romeo and Juliet_ ] **

INTERVIEWER: What was it like playing lovers?

EVA KVIIG MOHN (shaking her head): Horrible.

ISAK VALTERSEN: Eva is the worst kisser.

EVA: That’s rich coming from you.

ISAK: Please, you were basically swooning.

EVA: I was fainting because you had been eating onions before, don’t lie.

INTERVIEWER (a little overwhelmed): Guys?

EVA (patting ISAK’s leg): Sorry, it’s been a long day. But it was fine playing lovers, we’ve known each other long enough so it wasn’t awkward.

INTERVIEWER: It also wasn’t awkward even though Isak is in a relationship with the director?

EVA (frowning): No. Of course not, we’re all professionals.

INTERVIEWER: So, Isak, you were already together with Even at that point?

ISAK (crossing his arms in front of his chest, raising an eyebrow): Dude, no offence, but that’s literally none of your business.

INTERVIEWER: Not even a hint? I think a lot of people are interested.

ISAK (shrugging): Cool.

[JULIAN DAHL, ISAK’s handler, steps in. The interview ends.]

 

**[Extract of press conference for _Romeo and Juliet_ in Copenhagen]**

JOURNALIST: Hi, guys! First of all, it’s a really great film. It seems as if you all had fun working on it. My question is: Did you?

EVEN BECH NAESHEIM (laughing): I think I’d better let the cast answer that. Maybe it turns out now that I’m a horrible person to deal with as a director.

JONAS NOAH VASQUEZ: Nah, we really did have an amazing time. It was a lot of fun!

MAGNUS FOSSBAKKEN: Honestly, Even is like my favourite director. Ever.

EVEN (grinning): Aww, Magnus, you’re my favourite as well.

ISAK VALTERSEN: Hey!

EVA KVIIG MOHN (slinging an arm around ISAK’s shoulder): Don’t worry, you still have me. And Jonas.

JONAS: Definitely.

EVEN: Bab- Please, everyone knows that Magnus and I have an amazing bond. We baked muffins that one time.

MAHDI (towards JOURNALIST): That’s what it was like on set if you’re wondering. So, yeah, I guess you can say that we had fun (smiles brightly).

 

**

“Hi you.”

“Hi, back to you. What are you doing? Is that Instagram? I didn’t even think that you still know how to use that, Isak.”

“Ugh, why is everyone always on my case about that? My life is not interesting enough to put a million pictures on my Instagram.”

“You sure that it’s not more the fact that you can’t take good photos at all?”

“Excuse me? I take fucking amazing photos.”

“Oh yes, I’m sure you want them to be blurry.”

“Mhm, it’s a new style I’m trying. You wouldn’t understand. Also, everything you post is in fucking black and white. That must get boring after a while.”

“It’s not all in black and white!”

“The last picture in colour was of my sneakers and I still don’t get why you would even upload that.”

“It took me ages to find the perfect angle. Now it looks artsy.”

“I know. You didn’t let me put them on because you had to ‘get the perfect picture while the sun was still shining on them’ or something.”

“You’re just jealous of my photographic skills. Anyway, what are you doing?”

“Looking for a picture.”

“Of what?”

“Of us, Even. Not everyone wants to post photos of _shoes_.”

“You want to post a photo of us?”

“Yes. Did I mumble?”

“You do mumble sometimes.”

“I don’t. I enunciate clearly like the actor that I am.”

“So not the point right now, Isak. You need to pick a good picture, though.”

“What do you think I’m doing?”

“We literally have a thousand photos.”

“Yeah, but they’re all … I don’t want to share them. They’re mine. Or ours.”

“But you _do_ want to post a pic?”

“Ugh, yes.”

“Okay, give me your phone.”

“What? Why?”

“Because I thought that we’ve covered that you can’t take pretty pictures. I should take one of you right now, you look very cute when you’re pouting and frowning at the same time.”

“I’m not doing either of those things!”

“Just give me your phone.”

“Fine, fine. Here. Are you happy now?”

“Very. Smile.”

“I am smiling – oh.”

“It’s cute.”

“It’s a bit blurry.”

“That’s your camera.”

“Excuse me, when I’m taking the photos then I’m at fault if they’re blurry but if it’s you then it’s the camera?”

“I’m a director, I know these things.”

“You’re so full of shit, Even.”

“But you love me.”

“Sadly.”

“Hey.”

“Of course I love you.”

“Love you, too… with your shitty camera skills and all.”

 

**

**[isak_valtersen posted a picture on Instagram]**

[Close-up of Even pressing a kiss to Isak’s cheek. Isak is smiling into the camera, eyes slightly widened.]

**isak_valtersen** : let’s stay right here ❤

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, that was it! This fic is finished and I honestly can't tell you all how amazing your response was!! Thank you for all the kudos, comments, the messages on tumblr and your general interest in this fic <3 It made posting this amazing. Because I'm not ready to say goodbye to this universe completely yet, there'll be a oneshot coming in that same universe (set a few months after this epilogue). 
> 
> Until then, thank you so much again for reading!! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](http://hotchocolatenthusiast.tumblr.com/)


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